Ho hum…can’t sleep and I am fussing

Posted: September 19, 2006 at 12:54 am

Wilbur and I went to bed early cuz neither of us felt very well tonight (his bloodsugars are up and I am fighting an infection)…so at 9:15 we ditched all the little dogs and left them in the cat room and took our little sick selves off to bed. I got a full face and hand wash from him (in liu of the shower i couldn’t have) just before we both fell to sleep.

Then we both woke up at midnight. I was dreaming about my dad. He was laying in a strange bed somewhere dying and I whispered in his ear, “are you in pain?” and he said yes. For some reason I didn’t expect him to answer and was surprized. Anyway, I ran and drew him up some morphine, gave it to him, and then three annoyingly strange elderly ladies came into his room and I woke up. Wilbur woke up with me and now neither of us are tired anymore.

 My dad died a year and a half ago. i wasn’t at his bedside because I was trying to arrange airline flights and care for the animals, funny that 18 months later it comes back to haunt me. It was the inheritence from my father that allowed me to complete the initial reno’s to the new SAINTS site. I can’t say he would be horribly pleased with how I spent my inheritence, he thought animals were animals, and people who rescued animals were a little bit nutz. He also was a huge believer in investing for the future and having a nest egg for a rainy day. i did not inherit that particular money smart gene from him. Despite this fundamental difference, my dad loved me. Since I know what he would have thought about my passion for SAINTS when he was alive, I find myself wondering what he would think now that he is dead. Do you think when we die, there is a possibility that we get the chance to change our minds?

2 Comments on "Ho hum…can’t sleep and I am fussing"

  • Jean says

    I suspect when we die we have a whole new perspective about a whole lot of things – and particularly about our relationship to all other living things.

    And I suspect that your dad only experiences love for you now, even if you are a bit nutz, and he doesn’t judge what you do or how you chose to spend the money.

    My dad died nearly 30 years ago…I still sometimes feel his presence, often suddenly and at strange times and places. And although he was a perfectionist with very high expectations for me, I only ever feel his love and comfort, never any sense of disappointments for the things I do poorly or have never done.

  • Diane says

    Carol, I too have had similar dreams about my dad and mom, especially my father. They passed away in 2000 and 2001 (11 months apart). The dreams I have are them coming back and finding their house is no longer theirs and their money in the bank is not there (or has dwindled significantly). It is a horrible dream as I hate to see them hurt and I am in a panic to get the money back for them. My dad believed money was NOT to be spent! There was always going to be a rainy day.

    I’m sure where your father is now, he understands full well that you have spent his money on something is worthwhile now. On earth he didn’t see the logic but where he is now, money doesn’t matter and you should feel at peace.

    How is Pippa doing? I still think of her a lot and find myself feeling so useless when I read your blogs. I couldn’t do for one what you do for some many. I hope to be able to help donate to such a worthy cause and I have told so many people about your Haven. Some listen and some do not lol! I was glad to hear that the “Oaf” was up and around later today. Take care!

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