Jack speaks

Posted: January 2, 2007 at 6:54 pm

(Once again the animals have mutineed and taken over my computer.  Nicole, they really must get their own passwords so they can post their own blogs.  Today it is Jack who has an adventure to relate.)

Oh my goodness, I had quite the day today.  Jean, that woman who tortured me with a bath not that long ago, dognapped  Murphy and me and whisked us away in her car.  Murphy put up quite a fight, growling and baring his teeth and he would’ve won, too,  ‘cept Jean had an accomplice named Kathy who wrapped him up in a blanket and dumped him in the back seat.  I was thrown in the front, with Jean’s hand on my leash the whole time.  I screamed like a wildcat (do wildcats scream?  I don’t know – I’ve never met one ‘cept Dixie Chick and she doesn’t scream much) ALL the way.  Jean thought I needed to go pee so she kept stopping the car and taking me for little walks but I sure wasn’t going to cooperate.

In truth, I did need to pee.  Eventually I just squatted and went right on her flannel shirt and her leather seat!  That’ll teach her to dognap us!

As well as the frightening experience of being thrown in a car and driven away from home, every time Jean stopped either Murphy or I fell off the seat.  (Jean says that is the last time she transports dogs uncrated or without the barrier in the back.  She used to crate and use barriers faithfully so we don’t become missiles or hurt our little selves or get thrown out if – heaven forbid – she smashes up the car while she is distracted by her canine passengers.  Silly woman got lazy and decided hauling bales of hay to those noisy barn animals was more important than keeping the barrier in her car). It’s a good thing she had her hand on my leash and a basket of stuff on the floor for a soft landing or I coulda really been hurt! Murhpy grumbled like crazy when he fell and once he even popped up between the front seats to snap at Jean and tell her to slow down and brake gently!!

And then when we finally got to get out of the car we were at Samantha’s – the nice person who runs Markeyda’s Dog Grooming in Langley.  But Murphy was so eager to escape that he did a giant belly flop from the seat to the pavement, stopped short by the leash in Jean’s hand.  He was not impressed – he hurted himself, or at least knocked the wind out of himself I think.  Shut him up for a bit anyway.

Once we were there, it wasn’t so bad ‘cuz Jean took off and Samantha and her nice assistant gave us warm baths and pedicures and haircuts – we had make-overs!  Murphy was a bit cranky but he didn’t bite.  I was a perfect angel, of course. I even sang to them in my lovely soprano voice.

The ride back was a bore – we just slept – but suddenly Jean muttered something about needing coffee and I saw GOLDEN ARCHES!  Pippa and Copper have told me about them.  So I squealed and squealed and squealed and the woman at the window in the drive thru fell in love with me.  Jean said she needed a coffee for her and a small fries for “the dog” (what’s that about ? – I have a NAME, you know!) and the McDonalds person told her I needed at least a medium fries.  So I got one, and at the pick-up window, all the people working at McDonalds came over to see me ‘cuz I am so cute and was doing my mechanical dog routine on the front seat.

But just in case Jean thinks I can be bought, I did have one more good pee on the seat just as we pulled away.  I aimed for the coffee cup – woulda got it too, ‘cept Jean turned a corner and threw me off balance again. 

Anyway, I am glad to be home now, and next time Murphy and I see Jean coming in the door we’re gonna run in the other direction.  Unless she is carrying French fries.

 

 

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