a loss is a loss

Posted: January 4, 2007 at 8:06 am

whether they go into the perfect home or they pass from this world to the next, they are not with us anymore. when they die, i never have to worry about them again, we did what we could do, we try to find them homes or give them some happiness when we fail to find them a home. in order to give them that bit of happiness, you absolutely have to love them and they have to feel it through and through. some animals aren’t easy to love, some animals, for whatever reason, just are not a perfect fit in our human world. and some animals you have to look hard and long to really, truly, find that spark to make them fit inside you. once they fit, even if this is the wrong place for them, they know that there is one place safe where they can be who they are and still be loved.

phebes was like that for me. for all of her pain and all of her trauma, and all of her past failures to find a place in a heart, she found one in mine. and she knew it. so watching her questioning little face as she looked at me thru the window as they drove away and i know, she wonders, why did i let her go. dogs like phoebe, i worry about forever because i can only have faith that her new family is what she needs. my head says that they will try, and my heart says that they will do their best but i never  know with phoebe herself whether she will try and do her best too. if all the stars align and this was meant to be, then we just gave phebers the gift of her life. and if it is not, then i will worry that she stays safe until she comes home again.

it is so quiet here this morning, some animals take up a whole house with their presence. some animals take over a whole huge heart if you just give them an inch or two.

3 Comments on "a loss is a loss"

  • Jean says

    ((((hugs))))) Carol, it sounds like you could use one.

    Trust your intuitive self that these are good people, and that Phebes is a good and intelligent dog who will figure it out and will be happy, or will communicate to them that she needs to come back. Either way, she will not suffer again.

    You’ll both be okay.

  • Mo says

    I cried when Carol told me & now I wonder what my barn cleaning mornings will be like without her. That little dog managed to crawl under my skin, right into my heart. More Hugs to you Carol, I can’t imagine how quiet it must be there without her. I can’t wait for an update from her new family telling us how happy she is & how much they love her.

  • Chris T says

    My favourite image of Phoebe is when she had her head through the fence and her butt end going up and down because she was so excited to see Carol. I hope she will be fine too. I also trust your instincts Carol.

    The other side of a dog like Phoebe is that others get dwarfed in her presence. Someone else will step up and fill some of that void for you, not in the same way that Phoebe did, but you will not be left empty. It will happen quicker than you think!

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