the depths of the emotional complexity of animals

Posted: March 5, 2007 at 8:08 am

it really bugs me that the human race pretends that animals do not have deeply emotional selves. i think a month or two of living in my world might wake up science and block headed, stone  hearted humans who will not acknowledge how deeply these ceatures do feel.

jazz came here in november of 2004. and she has been happy since she came. but jazz has a deep well of sorrow inside her that only opens up in her quietest moments. jazz only visits that mournful place and wails its heartbreaking sadness in the safety of her deepest sleep. for more than 2 years that dog has been telling me of the pain she  carries inside, and every single time i hear that lonely, mournful, heartwrenching wailing, i feel it wash right thru the center of me. ahhh jazz, please babe, let go of those sad dreams.

and sam and endora? who by rights should never have adjusted to here? 2 fifteen year old, insular and isolated cats dropped suddenly in the center of grand central station? but they have. three months under my bed, not coming out even to pee or to poop. three months of food shoved under to them and mops cleaning up their mess and new bedding pushed under for them to lay on. and why do i think they made the adjustment so close to the end of their lives….. maude. maude gave those cats power with her fussing and flipping out about their blocking her way. and every time she had a heart attack, those cats felt a bit more control. never underestimate the value of personal power, it fills all creatures with strength. it nourishes our resistence to trauma and builds strong walls of self confidence. and personal power comes from success. and each time sam and endora sent maude cowering and screaming, they grew stronger and safer and less afraid.  the beauty of animals is once they find real personal power, they don’t feel the need to abuse it because they don’t have to, to feel safe. humans just keep going nutz because we don’t understand what real power means…it means the ability to survive not destroy.

so last night i slept in my bed, with maude stretched out on the pillows to the left, and endora across my pillows right next to her, and sam curled up and drooling in my neck beside her. these guys fought their battles with each other and with themselves and found where they belonged here and finally for last night at least. peace reigned once again in my house.

 

2 Comments on "the depths of the emotional complexity of animals"

  • Carol: Thank you so much for being you. The story about Sam & Endora & Maude proves you do have the insight and ability (not to mention patience and perseverance!!) to help any animal find its place in your wonderful establishment. I had never really looked at it from the perspective that those two “devil cats” were sent there to help Maude, and for Maude to help them. I felt so sorry for the poor old dog, you know. I was also feeling some guilt about the fact that they did spend 3 months under the bed and were catered to their every need by you. I read your blog faithfully and still believe it should/could become a book someday. Once again, thank you for giving Sam & Endora “a place” – not only at SAINTS, but on/under the bed!! I am always thinking of you and your battles. Even if I can only contribute from afar with financial help, I will continue to do so.
    Gail

  • Carol says

    lol gail…maude is a DRAMA QUEEN! there was never any need to feel sorry for her. she parked herself in front of those cats just so she could have a fit because she likes screaming the house down while she gets her very own way.
    muade has tons of personal power, she was never a victim of anybody just a vocal complainer in the frustrations of living a hard life that doesn’t always go her way…kinda like me!

    and maude’s caterwauling and temper tantrums are always the same, whether she is pissed at the devil cats for blocking her, or at me for sneaking out of her sight for part of the day.

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