sleepless in somewhere besides seattle

Posted: May 15, 2007 at 1:49 am

well i could sleep cuz i am very tired,  except there is a freaking furry pajama party going on in my room and it is crowding me out.

i have a 8X10 bedroom housing a double bed, 2 dressers, a chair and a corner shelf. currently on the floor on various beds and quilts, are maude, michael, lexie and dexter. boo is asleep on the little dresser, sam is on the big one, endora is asleep in the chair and julie, toby, jack, tom, harrison and rainbow are on the bed.

it is rainbow and harrison that are driving me insane. those two cats bite. not that either have actually ever bitten me, but i know they are going to one of these nights and i know it ain’t going to be pretty. i call them the danger duo cuz in the dark of the night, those two get decidedly weird. they want to be close, reaaallly close. like up close and personal and right on top of me.

harrison likes his fifteen pounds of powerhouse cat, draped right across my legs, and i can’t move. this frustrates the hell out of me when i am asleep and makes me start flailing around. this pretty much really pisses him off and he gets mad while he is trying to subdue my hysterical legs and make them behave.

rainbow just has to put her face right up to mine and purr with her cheek to my cheek. she wraps her claws around in my hair and kneeds my head and then gently licks the tip of my nose in glee. and every so often she gives it a pinch just so i know she could bite it off if i happen to move in the wrong way.

if they knew i was actually trying to escape i know they would both bite me for sure. but i pretend i have a weak bladder and have to get up every five minutes in the hopes that they both will just wander away.

 i thought i was partially successful on this last trip up cuz when i got back, rainbow was gone. and then i spied her draped across dexter’s head, with her claws gently caressing his brain. i went looking for nicole’s old camera so i could prove that she’s psycho but when i got back, she was sittong there waiting again on my pillow. she looked at me and that camera in my hand and i swear to god i heard her say…”what happens in here in the dark of the night, stays here in the dark, so go and put your camera away.”

ok, so now i am a little afraid to go back to bed, cuz maybe she will really bite me for even thinking to catch her weirdness on film.  and harrison as definately had enough of my popping in and out of bed tonight.

so you see? they really are driving me insane, i am a midnight closet hostage who is somewhat afraid of her 2 pretending to be nice but might actually maybe really be,  scary cat captors who may bite if i keep being so uncooperative and restless, and i can’t help it. they are too up and close and personal for me to relax and sleep like a good cat captive is supposed to do cuz i know darn well there is a freaking good intuitive reason why i don’t trust those two in my bed in the night.

freaking cats man, i gotta get up for work at 6 am! 

2 Comments on "sleepless in somewhere besides seattle"

  • Chris T says

    Oh Carol!! That was too funny. I could actually hear the jaws music in the background as Harrison and Rainbow are stalking you in the night.

    You really need to write a book. You would make so much money you would not need to get up at 6 am to go to work!

  • Angela says

    You should write a book, your stories are priceless – Have fun at your Picnic – it sounds like it will be a wonderful time.

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