worrying again

Posted: August 26, 2007 at 7:06 am

i woke up this morning with that sinking feeling in my gut. fall is coming and soon it will be winter. winter here is just a different kind of hard, but geez it is hard.

everything is just so much more difficult. the so much shorter days, the  work that has to be done in the dark and the cold and the rain and the snow.

i don’t want to go there again. i want to just stay here, now. i want a couple of hours after work, in the daylight to clean the barn and scoop and poop and run the dogs in the fields.

i don’t want to worry again about everyone being warm enough, and will someone fall on the ice and get hurt, and how deep is the snow that buries the poop and that we have to trudge thru carrying water if the barn freezes again. i don’t want to have to worry about the wet and the mold that builds up in the barn from too much moist breathing from too many animals.

summer is bad with volunteers away for vacation and so much more work that falls to me, but winters are worse because sometimes they can’t get here and sometimes when i am at work 30 km away, if a storm hits, i worry that i won’t get home too. oh, and what if i slip on ice and fall again and break something else?

why am i worrying about this on aug 26th, it is still a few months away? i worry because i can’t see where spring and summer have gone, they just slipped away so very fast. and i can feel it coming, the fireplaces are on at night now, some of the sleeping animals are wrapped again in fleece.

i better figure out what i am going to do about that dead furnace. it is too hard to heat this place with heaters and the fireplaces. sigh, a new furnace is such a huge expense esp. if we convert from oil to natural gas. and it will majorly be disruptive to have to do with so many animals here right now.

winter brings a whole new set of challenges and truly i am currently challenged enough with decent weather, i don’t want the winter ones too.

i feel the winter’s dark and cold coming and today i feel afraid.

6 Comments on "worrying again"

  • Chris T says

    It is definately starting to feel like autumn – especially at night. You will get through the winter one day at a time – that is the only way you can.

  • Johanna says

    Carol,

    Perhaps we should have a Furnace Fund Fund Raiser..perhaps a Fall Fair or something along those lines. Just a thought !!! I’m thinking of a way to raise funds so that you can install a new furnace and therefore have one less thing to worry about during winter.

    Johanna

  • Deb says

    I’m with Johanna. Winter at SAINTS is not like winter anywhere else. It’s all the regular challenges X 100. Worrying about the Sanctuary being cold (and face it, two little fireplaces can’t heat that house sufficiently, and space heaters are dangerous, a disaster waiting to happen.
    The furnace needs to be replaced. We need a dedicated fund-raising event. Carol can’t get through the long winter one day at a time when there are so many obstacle. What was the estimated cost of a new gas furnace, Carol, or have you even had someone come in to take a look?

  • carol says

    i got an estimate to convert to natural gas last year when the oil furnance crapped out…it was about $4000-$5000 which is why i went out and bought some more heaters instead. i don’t know how much it would cost to replace it with a new oil furnace probably less but the repair guy said the oil tank was going to need replacing soon anyway so i should just switch to gas.

    the oil filled space heaters that we have are pretty safe tho…so don’t worry on that account…they just bug me cuz they are always in the way and everyone just has to pee on them for some reason.

  • Diane says

    Let me know when and if you have the fund raiser. I would like to contribute to the furnace. Carol, may I get an “in kind” receipt for the Kuranda dogs please. Thanks and when you have a small minute to deal with that. I know you are very busy.

    Keep me informed about the fundraiser – I’ll help financially with what I can.

    Yes, looks like we are into October already – ugghh!

    Sorry to hear of all the losses in the past couple of weeks for you. Some very important pieces of SAINTS are gone for you and I know that must be a downer for you.

    Diane

  • I tried to post 2x yesterday & each time the page would just hang & my comment disappeared. Fingers crossed for this time….

    -Duke Energy. Don’t they sometimes come to help at SAINTS? Is there anyone there who could ask around about getting a discount installation?

    -get more quotes? With the construction/reno boom, I find contractors’ bids are all over the place.

    -I personally wouldn’t recommend ultra high-efficiency. I’d go for a standard mid efficiency furnace & if you could get some discounted installation, maybe that price would come down a bit.

    -rebates. Doesn’t look like there’s anything at the moment but there often are gov’t rebates to convert.

    -fundraiser – great idea. Project specific fundraisers do better than asking for $ for ‘general’ expenditures.

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