Rescue Journal

sam and remy passed today.

Carol · Oct. 23, 2007

colleen (our vet) very kindly took time out of her morning to come and help sam pass from home. he is so afraid when we have to take him out, this was a gift on such short notice. he passed quietly peacefully and without any fear on my bed.

i had her look at remy while she was here. he has been quite depressed since cleo put him in his place yesterday. this is a reality of senior rescue, dogs who are somewhat jerks like remy, garner a good portion of their quality of life in continuing to nag and go after the others. like people who have these types of personalities, it makes them feel strong and in control. take that away from them and suddenly, they feel vulnerable and weak.

i have been struggling about remy for awhile now. he was a pain with the other animals and caused alot of turmoil. but other than puncturing sweet muffins little ear and sometimes scaring the others, he was safe, just a pain in the neck. and he was happy so that his struggles with the ongoing and increasing weakness, diminishing neurological status in his back end and spine, didn't upset him that much, plus he was on a good med regime.

until, he met someone younger and stronger. remy wasn't physically hurt in that struggle, he didn't have a mark on him anywhere at all. but he lost something then and maybe he would have found it again, in a day or a week or two...who knows?

until it happened again. i would have kept remy here and managed his quirks, forever, for as long as it took. but i can't watch him take an emotional beating just because of who he is and because he is getting old and weak.

so when colleen said, she thought it was time, that maybe his quality of life was fading away now...ok. this was already in my head anyway since yesterday, so right or wrong i let him go.

remy didn't want to go yet today. i knew that as soon as the pre-med had little effect. i don't think he thought i did him any favor, and maybe i didn't. i don't know.

you were a very good dog remy, and i didn't kill you because you are a jerk, i loved you jerkiness and all. i let you go so you didn't feel weak and helpless and not strong and so no one would ever make you question yourself again. i hope that was ok.

Comments

Carol

remy was slowly losing the use of his back end thru paralysis but he wasn't in pain...he really liked the field runs and all the treats that just happen to show up here...he liked endless food bowls. he liked laying in the shavings while we cleaned out the barn and looking for poop balls and finding them first..he liked chasing cats and being powerful and telling the others to "f" off and run.....he just didn't like it when someone turned around and said "no way"

i never felt remy was unhappy here but i did feel he wanted more...like his very own person and his very own food bowl and his very own place that was his and bot shared.

sorry for the confusion gail...so many animals, so many names...sam was a truly great cat (and he finally did stop beating the crap out of maudie!)

Gail Glover

Carol: I quess I have been living in "Lala Land", while reading your posts (which I try to do regularly), and didn't realize until the post of the 23rd that Sam was Endora's mate. I am grateful and thank you for staying with him right through to the end. He made almost another year, by us bringing him and Endora down in the big snow storm last Nov.16th. I think I was oblivious, because there was another "Sam" earlier this year, and I thought it was our Sam, but you set me straight there. I am glad to hear Endora is ok, and am not a bit surprised he didn't enjoy visiting with the vet - going for rides was not his thing. I hope you get to read this post. Gail

Deb

The Remy I knew was not a jerk, but neither was he happy, content or well. Remy was miserable at the Shelter. We'd bring him into the office so that he didn't feel so all alone, but it didn't calm him, he just wandered and cried (in pain....spiritual and/or physical) for the life he left behind. Poor Remy could barely hear, see or walk, and nothing seemed to make him feel better.

I think he did feel better at SAINTS, he did feel that he was at home, and his inner jerk came out. Maybe he felt he had endured enough (which is certainly true) and when his chance to kick back and be a knob came up, he embraced it.

Or maybe he was just another sad, confused, anxious old dog who couldn't figure out where his family went. I'd rather remember Remy as a jerk than as another lost soul.

Carol

ok well lets be honest here...remy was a jerk living with a ton of other potential competition/victims...remy on his own probably was a real nice guy!

Deb

Remy got a reprieve when he came to SAINTS from VAS, Carol. He was probably ready to go after his foster family moved to Australia and he was returned to a Shelter he absolutely despised.
Remy felt the sun on his face, the grass between his pads, had smells to search out and crap to roll in. He got to spend the end of his life being the jerk he obviously was but hid from VAS staff and his foster parents. Remy got to be himself for as long as it was safe, and he did not die in a kennel he hated. That's a good death, as far as I'm concerned.
Goodbye Remy, aka Buddy. All is well now.

Rae

I'm sorry Carol it's a hard decsion to make but I think Remy understood.
Rest in Peace Sam and Remy. You will both be missed because you are loved!!!