procrastinating….

Posted: December 17, 2007 at 5:52 pm

i am afraid to go out to the barn…ellie came out this morning on her knees..she was up on her feet and motoring fine at noon…and i am not sure what she will be doing tonight.

apparently clyde had an “oh shit” moment today. greg came into the kitchen and lokie had clyde pinned to the floor by the throat. sorry, i can’t say i am surprized…clyde has been biting lokie in the ass since he arrived. lokie did not hurt him…he would make as good a lead dog as tyra (except he is a bit too patient and should have disciplined the little beast sooner) anyway…i just got home, gee, clyde is quite respectful of lokie. i really like lokie…i wonder if i can borrow him after his folks get home. this is why i like dogs like lokie so much…they believe in natural and fair consequences…bite me in the ass one too many times and my huge gaping mouth will encircle your throat, behave yourself and i will play nice with you. good dog!

clyde is however not good…he escaped from the yard and he was off and running…doornob…anyway, greg, trina, kathy and i rounded him up and herded him back on to the property and into the gate. i was so hoping that VAS would trade me skipper for clyde, deb wrecked it, she told them he was a frankenpup!

sweet pea is in heat again…gawd! save me from reproductive cancer ridden seniors who cannot safely be spayed…how long do heats last anyway? good thing there are no unneutered frail elderly, sex fiend senior males here right now….she would probably give them a coronary..but what a way to go.

we look like we are getting covered for thursday…either kathy or jesse will take care of cleaning the main shelter, greg will do the barn routine…both the am and pm feeding and turn out/put to beds, critical meds and cleaning. tammy is doing the americats and bunnies, nicole will run the dogs and take sweet pea and sissy to the vet for a check, heidi and zoe are coming out to check on and spend time with everyone and trina will come at supper time to let them all out for a pee and give clyde his phenobarb cuz it will be too long between doses by the time i get home and now lynn will be checking on them in the evening.

wow you guys…you are pretty freaking amazing, thank you. i promise i will enjoy my mini vacation and come home all re-newed!

edditted to add…ha ha procrastinate long enough and once in a blue moon a guardian angel will cover stuff for you. by the time i was thinking about sucking it up and heading out to the barn…greg was just coming back in…HE HAD FED AND PUT THEM ALL TO BED!  how incredibly kind is that (and ellie was running in the paddock and walked into the barn on all four feet so i was scared for no reason.)

i also want to add how utterly moved i am that so many people are as upset about ellie as i am and how kind they are being to me while i am being a baby about this. i was talking to the nurses today because part of me is afraid that i have caused this by spaying her when we removed that huge hernia. (human bones become weaker and lose calcium with hystectomies and menopause because of decreased progesterone and the DNA of pigs is very similar to humans) so i am afraid i have done this to her by making a really bad decision….anyway…even the nurses are upset that ellie is in trouble (some have met her and fallen under her spell, and others are captivated by the pictures and stories of this very special pig princess)

anyway, they told me they didn’t think i hurt her by making that decision…sadly, i don’t believe them…i work with wonderful people and they would say that just so i wouldn’t feel bad and because my eyes were welling up even in just asking the question. that is the trouble with kind people, they don’t want you to be hurt so you can’t always believe them.

and here is the part about rescue that most people never get…for each of us that police our own rescue practice…it is never about the things you have done well…it is always about all the ways that you could have done things better. i don’t think i should have spayed ellie mae, i think that was a really big mistake…i wish we were allowed to turn back time…i wouldn’t spay her now…and maybe her bones would be stronger.

 

5 Comments on "procrastinating…."

  • Nicole says

    i didn’t remember to book the appointments until 6pm when they would be closed, but i will try them first thing in the morning.

  • Lory says

    Stop with all the guilt. No one could try harder with purer intentions than you.

  • Deb says

    Ellie’s bones might be stronger had she not been spayed, Carol, but the basic truth remains that she is a farm pig, and she was bred to gain a lot of weight very fast, and to live a short, miserable life.
    Had Ellie not been spayed, there are a host of diseases she may have faced as a result. The amount of calcium she may have lost would not, in the long run, make a lot of difference, because she has lived longer than she was supposed to, carrying weight that even very strong legs were never meant to support.
    Ellie has a good life. She has not been treated like a commodity, she is family. Her life, had she lived it on a factory farm, would have been short and brutal. No kindness, no love, no respect, no play, no soft bed in a safe barn. No friends, animal or human.
    I don’t worry about Ellie-Mae. I know you will do whatever you must to keep her safe and well, comfortable and happy for as long as you can. I worry about you. I worry about how utterly devastated you will be when you have to say goodbye to your enchanted pig.
    This is not your fault, friend. Your only “fault” is falling in love with an animal that many see as nothing more than a way of making cash. What’s happening to your best friend is happening because it has been manipulated to do so. That’s the sad truth.

  • Carol says

    all true enough…but i still should not have spayed her…don’t worry about me until i lose her…until then i am grateful (AND i am just rememebring that the vets said we were going to lose spritely too and that was a year ago and still hasn’t happened yet…i am grateful for this too)

  • Heidi says

    Carol, remember you alone did not spay her. I believe a vet had to do the deed. Think about all the people involved in that decision. Some way more knowledgeabe about pink piggy princesses than you. Not to mention everyone here that read the blog and knew she was to be spayed. Spaying her at the time was a good decision and the right one. You know from pall. care that you can only make the best decision at the time and while it may not have the complete desired effect you really don’t know if the other decision might have been worse. You make the best choice (educated and piggy directed) and don’t look back with regret. Ellie is so loved and touched so many people. I hope we have ellie for a long time but if not at least we got a chance to have her at all. Take care Carol.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *