a cautionary note to myself.

Posted: February 2, 2008 at 8:28 am

i think when we sometimes get all crazy in our heads and start acting like doorknobs, it is because we have forgotten one very simple thing….

death is a sneaky bastard and it can turn off our lights or someone we love in the blink of an eye. if i reduce everything around me to this one simple thing, how important does the crazy crap become? it doesn’t even exist.

gone goes the anger and bitterness and envy. gone are the what if’s (gee if i could only win the lottery, if i only had what they have…) gone is the competition, and driving need to be right or validated or justified. petty resentments simply disappear. all that remains is making just this one day count.

we all have to decide how we want to spend our (or someone else’s) last day, i would rather spend it full of kindness, compassion and understanding instead of all messed up in the head.

my friend lost her dad yesterday and just before xmas, my daughter’s partner lost his mom, i have 4 of my furry friends who are counting down their days right now, and how many actual or near deaths are we all going to encounter in the coming months?

you would think that because i am surrounded by death every day at saints (and as a nurse,) that this simple thing would always be in the forefront of my mind…but sometimes even the simplest things escape me, like life is a gift.

i bought one of those foamy things for my bed and it had to puff up for 24 hours. last night i slept on the couch with sweetpea, cuddles, julie, clyde and phoebe. maude, lexie and tyra squeezed together on my tiny den floor…there is no tomorrow for those guys when we all return to my slightly bigger room and bed. there is only this moment in the darkness of sleeping close to me and they decided that this is not to be lost.

we have to be careful of those moments that we all just toss away…too busy, too angry, too unhappy, too tired or sore to try to live them well. but the animals know, they only live for today…maybe because they are always at such risk for dying, but then, so are we.

1 Comment on "a cautionary note to myself."

  • Zoe says

    Very well said, Carol. I think all too often people abandon the small simple moments in honour of the excessively dramatic ones, when in fact it should be the opposite! Animals do live for today, and I definitely think that’s something more people should take note of. Four years ago I got a ‘ carpe diem’ tattoo ( very cliche), BUT, it has reminded me to pay attention to other things I may have simply disregarded.
    And, the vision of you burrowed amongst all those animals in a pretty great image.

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