too late, crap.

Posted: March 25, 2008 at 6:23 pm

so what is the point of all of this? my headache is back, too early for idol and i am in between laundry loads. time for that introspection crap that irritates the hell out of so many.

so i am thinking…10 grand for 3.5 months of vet bills, does that mean we are going to spend $40 thousand this year?…large and small animal alike. how many have we taken in since we started? a couple of hundred? how much in food? labour, paid and volunteer? how many reno’s, dump runs? how many headaches and how much have i trashed any hope of retirement security?

hmmmm. how many people don’t like me, who have or have not ever met me but still don’t like me because of what i do here, or what i say here or what i am here?…much easier to be someone that no one ever heard of. how many times have i been attacked or ridiculed or sneered at that i don’t even know about but other people do? it is not like i don’t hang myself right out there occasionally.
you know… really, what a freaking stupid thing to do….getting into providing a place for old wrecked leaky animals to hang out. and if i absolutely just had to do this, why not do it silently? just be quiet and smile and nod and look saintly and let folks draw their own conclusions….hopefully good ones cuz no one knows any better anyway.
well…. we all know i do it for the animals. it is pretty obvious if you actually come here. but is it really the reason? i don’t know, my freaking head hurts, maybe it is something darker, sicker, something i am too afraid to see. maybe i am mentally ill…maybe the animals have bewitched me, taken over my body and soul and i am a puppet on a string…didn’t there used to be ancient legends or recent movies about that?
bastards! they have totally messed up my life. it is just too freaking weird living this life day after day. and it costs a shit load of money. where was my brain?

ok, i am done, i am going to go play with squirt and albert, too late to kick them all out now anyway.

4 Comments on "too late, crap."

  • Deb says

    You’re certifiable, Carol, that’s why those of us who understand you, love you.

    First they came for the Communists,
    and I didn’t speak up,
    because I wasn’t a Communist.
    Then they came for the Jews,
    and I didn’t speak up,
    because I wasn’t a Jew.
    Then they came for the Catholics,
    and I didn’t speak up,
    because I was a Protestant.
    Then they came for me,
    and by that time there was no one
    left to speak up for me.
    ~Rev. Martin Niemoller~

    There are critics and cynics and whiners and finger pointers and angry, lazy, stupid or just plain useless people everywhere, Carol. You do what you do because it has to be done.Don’t let the bastards of the world get you down.

  • Janet says

    I think what you do there is amazing. I don’t know anyone who would devote their entire life to animals. You are a true scholar.

  • Carol;

    Do you remember when we met? I was very uptight because I had been feeding first thirty rabbits on Dlugosh str. then slowly they were disappearing and I was becoming distressedand very confused. I was convinced that they were moving on to let their babies be the families and they were moving up the hill. It kept getting worse and I was starting to watch for signs of what was really happening. One day I was across from Saints and I saw a man with the largest rottie I had ever seen in the school ground. He appeared to be excercising him. I thought now more of it. I fed the rabbits across the street from Saints and went home. The next pm I was acoasted by two men who closed me in with their cars and threatened me if I did not quit feeding the rabbits and I was to let them die as they were useless and wild animals anyway. I was raging mad and both defended them and myself and they found out I was unafraid of them and their cars. I reminded them that the rabbits were domesticated animals that had been dumped by humans that took them home to abandon them later when they were tired of caring for them or their children no longer were interested in them.

    Then they really started to disappear and I caught the (blank) and his ruined rottie, that he had taught to kill for sport immediately after they killed no. 14 of the 15 left alive. I was devastated!!! I threatened him and his ruined dog and informed him if I ever saw him in the area again I would call the police and make sure I had someone to back me up. Ther were alot of people asking where the rabbits went and believe me I told them. There is one bunny left and that is Simon who lives at Saints and at my house down the street. He is so clever that he figured out where I was when I wasn’t at Saints. Then I met Carol. I was so happy as she rescued The two white bunnies that live at Saints. They are related to Simon the warrior bunny that owns Dlugosh ave. They are the sweetest animals that mean no harm to anyone and some of the most mistreated animals on the planet. I have been feeding Simon for 7 years now and love all the bunnies at Saint. I have 3 here and I fiercly love them too. One is a Saints foster that I rescued on my property where I live. So I know what it is like to be talked about, threatened,Sneared at and called the crazy bunny lady, I hol my head high. Your head should always be held high Carol even when you have a headache. Eva

  • Good morning;

    Well it still may be snowing but the big old bear from last year is already out and about. How do I know? He tore up all six of my feeders and ate all the seeds. He is so strong that he broke one of the arms off my metal hanger with a bunny from the top of it too. He ate seed from all the stairs and really cleaned up. So all our neighbours do be careful as that is one hungry bear!! There is one poitive thing about it all and that is all the feeders got completely cleaned out. A miracle he never got the big garbage can out of the shed or the worm garden belonging to the man upstairs!!Now that is a (blank) disturber. Eva

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