not to worry

Posted: July 2, 2008 at 1:02 pm

most folks who know me or read the blog very often, know i am a chronic whiner and complainer…i honestly can’t see the point in going thru all of this crap silently and gracefully (cuz i am neither silent nor graceful)…i am like a dog or a cat in that respect…i might have to tolerate not having everything going my way all the time but i certainly reserve the right to protest quite loudly, the unfairness of it all.

which is why probably i will never truly fall down and not get up again…you just gotta get up if you want to whine and complain. anyway for those who feel sorry for me or worry about me…it is ok…i only whine and complain while i am feeling sorry for myself, that only lasts so long before i get distracted by something else and then i am off and rolling again.

it also only lasts exactly as long as my rage and once i get rid of my anger (usually by getting rid of whoever is pissing me off..ok not nice but it is at least honest) anyway, once i am not mad anymore…(like a dog,) i am off exploring other more interesting things.

the vet came and jeanette got her pain meds, angelina is here and attending to her every need. we have a temporary house guest…sheila and leila’s oliver is here…we are babysitting him for a week…he is a bit of a pain but he is also so very freaking sweet…a week won’t be long enough for me to actually get sick of him and his somewhat jerky ways…and i can see the light at the end of the tunnel for when he will go home once again. jewel is never going to get adopted…she is funny and sweet, she is cute as they come, she is incredibly unique in looks, she is a great conversation peice and she is fun to play ball with…but geez that dog has alot to say and she says it as loud and annoyingly and as repetitively she possibly can…she’d be a good candidate for de-barking except we actually don’t do that here…sigh, too bad…sometimes it sucks to be bound by morals.

my newest worry on my worry chart is how to approach tomorrow in the best way for percy…i am still keeping myself busy with practical things and logistics and worrying about something besides jeanette’s loss…who knows what will happen tomorrow when i cannot put this off any longer. but in the meantime…do i let percy see her and smell her and be with her so he knows that she is truly gone and not just stolen away? i don’t know cuz he could so easily blow out of control and then we have a bezerking and grieving 800 pound calf on our hands…but…i don’t think i can lie to him either…tough day for all of us tomorrow, and deb is right, percy will have the toughest day.

so ok to worry about jeanette and percy, no need to worry about me..i have a job to do and i always do my job even if i whine and complain.

12 Comments on "not to worry"

  • mo says

    Perhaps it is best to have Percy outside the riding ring , but still close by . I really want to be there in one way , yet can’t bear the thought of it the very next second. There is something about the size of deceased livestock that gets right inside my heart, perhaps it was witnessing horses pass & then the way they are ( & need to be ) handled after . When we lose a dog/cat/bunny/bird/mouse etc etc , it is small & we can hold them & carry them to their resting spot & mode of transport… with over 1000 ponds , I can’ t bear it. I spent lots of time with Jeannette this last week-end & she is absolutley the sweetest cow I have ever met . She taught me lots & I will miss her . I will be thinking of her tomorrow .

  • Marisa says

    It makes me cry to think that Jeannette is part of such a tiny minority in the cow world, to be loved and treasured the way she is…an experience most cows will never know. How wonderful that everyone at SAINTS was able to know who a cow can become if she is given the chance…just the very fact that she CAN become a “who” and not simply be relegated to a “what”.
    If you have a moment cut and paste this into your browser:
    http://www.animalsvoice.com/PAGES/writes/editorial/essays/farmed/flynne_cowdancing.html

    And then you will know of at least three cows in our world who are truly loved. Go gently, Jeannette. You are already missed…even by those who never set eyes on you.

  • Donna says

    From personal experience I have found that it is better to let the remaining animals (Percy in particular) see that their friend is dead. I had to take a rescue dog in to be euthanized (human aggressiveness). I went out the back door to the carport and of course came back without Keyda. Our other two dogs looked for him for 3 months and would not go out the back door if they were leashed.
    When I had the vet come to the house to put down my old Westie, I let the two other dogs come out into the back yard after the vet had finished, so they could see her on the lounge chair and be able to sniff her and know that she had died. They mourned for a couple of days and to me that is a much better scenario than not knowing what happened to their friend.
    I wish you all the best and know you will do what you consider to be the right thing.

  • Beverly says

    Please do let the animals (Percy) close to Jeanette say goodbye once she is gone.

    When I had a cougar attack my barn animals the one sheep that was in the worst shape had to have shots every 4 hrs round the clock. During the shots I would kick the others out of the barn…the fuss they raised calling for the one in the barn was crazy.

    Every 4 hours they did the same fussing/calling. When my girl gave up and I had to call the vet to do an emerg euth….they fussed all thru it, pushing on the barn door and just so upset to be divided πŸ™ They loved her.

    When she was gone I wrapped her up in a blankie and opened the barn door for them to come in. I locked them in with her for 30 min then kicked them out so we could remove her.

    They never called/ fussed / looked for her again. Had I never allowed them to be in there with her and just removed her I think I would have had a lot of problems with the others.

    I’ve done this with other animals for the ones they were close to…it’s hard on the people but important for the animals.

  • jane says

    i don’t know you and sometimes don’t know what you are writing about.
    like the animals in my life, (and the people, too), i try to just be with them. “meet them wherever they are”, that’s a slogan but it’s real.

    and sometimes when i reply to you it’s just so you know someone heard you, for what it’s worth.

    not worry about you, just stand by you, even at this distance.

  • Diane says

    What a wonderful life you have given Jeannette in her remaining days and months. I grew up on a farm and love cows and almost stop when I see them in the fields. I know how attached my father and mother used to get to their “special” cowns and can understand where you are coming from. I’m sorry Percy, Jeannette and yourself have to go through this tomorrow but am glad that Jeannette had some wonderful caring and love for her last days.

    I made it to B.C. two weeks ago and dropped stuff off for the garage sale in Aldergrove (nice meeting you Kathy!) but couldn’t bring myself to SAINTS. I knew that I would be wanting to try and adopt one of your saintly crew and still had a lot of travelling to do through the US and B.C. I just couldn’t bring myself to stop in! Jewel barks, eh??? She would fit in soooooooooooo well with my two boys – they LOVE to bark at any given moment and I am used to that. I really really really wanted to meet her! By the way, what is Cushing’s Disease? Inquiring minds want to know………lol

  • Diane says

    Ooops – it is Sparkles that I was thinking of…..She is the one I keep looking at and longing for πŸ™

  • lynne says

    i am so glad that i got to know jeanette and thereby percy. i have always been very afraid of barn animals, especially horses , but once jeanette could not walk i waent out there and spent some time with her. she is a very sweet cow and i was not afraid to pet her and talk to her. percy came up to me and licked my arms all over and just looked at me. i looked into both theit eyes and have never seen such soulful beautiful big eyes in my whole life. they really do know what is going on. i just want to say thankyou to jeanetter and percy for allowing me to pet them and not be afraid of them. they truly are a wonderous gift and i will never forget jeanette. altho i am still afraid of the horses, the sheep and carl and the goats. maybe some day. i hope things go well for all tomorrow carol i will be at work but will be thinking of you. give jeanette a pat for me and percy too.

  • My thoughts are with you Carol. Free to roam Jeanette.You will be remembered forever by the human and the animals at Saints and beyond dear Jeanette. Bless you, Eva

  • Carol says

    if you haven’t clicked in on that link that marisa posted above…please do, what a beautiful story.

  • lynne says

    that was avery humbling and beautiful post from marisa. it truly makes you wonder how far man has gone and how arrogant he has become. a mother is a mother no matter if human or animal and we should all respect that thank god we have people who still care ab out animals.

  • wendy says

    Big hugs coming from us today….what a lucky lucky cow to have had such a wonderful life. I agree; let Percy see her afterwards; we have let our farm critters9back in the day) smell the lifelessness of their close buddies and had no problems with them constantly looking for them once they were taken away.

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