life can be pretty callous

Posted: July 3, 2008 at 7:41 pm

and it really does not care if the timing is bad all around.

the day that clyde died i got yelled at because some people apparently work harder than others do and this is not fully appreciated around here. on the day that jeanette dies, the same unhappy person comes to my door and implies by their actions that sometime over the past few weeks the possibility is born that i may be a liar, a cheat, or a thief….altho i was never any of those things before. that would be like me believing that someone is kind and respectful to animals and then suddenly proclaiming them to be abusers just because i happen to be mad at them for something totally unrelated.

it is actually possible to be angry and detest someone and catalog all their faults without making them into something you know is untrue.

today is not a day only to reflect on jeanette’s beauty, to worry about percy and watch carl with those newly shorn sheep…it is not just a day to ensure the dogs aren’t frightened by thunder and say thank you so much to the ones who helped us get thru today….it is apparently a day for all of those things and the knocking of darkness again on ones door.

and if anyone thinks for a second that rescue is about goodness and rightness, toss that thought right out of your head. rescue is about getting thru really hard days and then getting a 2×4 whack in the head.

sucks to be me.

8 Comments on "life can be pretty callous"

  • Deb says

    Two words, Carol. Restraining Order. You don’t deserve the kind of harassment you have been dealing with, nor should you be forced to explain anything you do at SAINTS.
    Those of us who know you realize that this situation is spinning out of control, and it needs to be dealt with. Now.

  • Deb says

    Okay, apparently I overreacted. Yeah, me, I can be melodramatic. Who knew?

  • laura says

    Carol…Be Ready, we ARE taking that drive tomorrow to the place we talked about the other night!!

  • Carol says

    lol deb…that made me laugh.

  • Carol says

    ok laura…but i seem to have forgotten we were going somewhere…so where are we going?

  • Deb says

    I know where you are going, Chris knows where you are going, why don’t you know where you’re going?

    Never mind. Stupid question. 🙂

    Just watch out, ‘k?

  • Lindsay says

    One of the best things about this blog is that about 90% of it is incomprehensible to the casual observer.

    It kind of adds to the charm.

  • Carol says

    well the whole going for a car ride thing is even incomprehensible to me…as to the rest, i apologise for this..it is a slippery slope sharing all the ins and outs and twists and turns in rescue…rescue is not just about caring for animals…. it is about navigating thru a ton of personal agendas, vendettas and personalities or becoming a new target in stoning fests when you happen to tell folks to quit throwing rocks. where else in the real world do you have to publically state “i am a plant” so romantic, unrequited love fantasies don’t turn into a nightmare of “hell have no fury like a not-lover scorned.” ???

    rescue is a world wide open for all kinds of subtle and not so subtle abuse and use of individuals and groups who are really busy in doing their rescue thing. by its very nature, rescue attracts the occasional people who might not be so great with their own species or might have some pretty big holes to fill or might see animals as a real good excuse to bully others around or might be looking to get something they want which trust me can be pretty much anything you can possibly imagine and then some.

    and of course if i get too specific i open saints or myself up to possible lawsuits which i try not to do.

    it really is not about the specifics anyway, it is about people in general peeing on other people’s parade. i rarely go anywhere looking for trouble..most people bring it uninvited right to my gate, heck they bring it right into my home (and this pisses me off cuz i think if they want to create havoc and make life all drama driven and dirty, they should go home and do it without me) and i don’t get this…if you don’t like me or i won’t give you what you happen to want, then why not simply just go away and look elsewhere?…maybe someone else is nicer than me, maybe someone else is smarter than me, maybe someone is more generous than me or maybe someone rescues better than me and i think they should go and find them and be happy.

    i never proclaimed to be a service agency for humans…i am not a social worker, or missionary, or a welfare agency, or even a lonely hearts club, i am not a perfect life provider, or a free place to shop for whatever someone is looking for…i am a person who rescues senior and special needs animals and tries to give them a decent life, while keeping the “we want what you’ve got” wolves from eating me alive.

    ooops, sorry….i am venting in riddles again….. i couldn’t sleep cuz i had all this crap flying around in my head…that is how my craziness ends up on this blog….it is the only way i can get it out of my head…write it down, say what i am feeling in some round about way and then try really hard to put it away til the next one starts banging on my door on a really bad day.

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