build your own dreams

Posted: July 20, 2008 at 8:14 am

someday i will have to get a video of phoebe covering herself up with a blanket when she wants to nap. tawnie looks a bit better this morning, i was getting a bit worried last night. i think, like jed, she was starting to go septic and got in here in a nick of time. your average person does not understand that long term and untreated skin infections of whatever origin, can actually kill if left too late. she really is a very nice dog.

when i started saints, i did it for one reason only…because i did not want to rescue the way that others were rescuing animals. i had my own answers, my own way and i was astute enough to realize that i had no right to cajole or insist that other rescues conform to my beliefs and standards and rescue my way. hence saints, where not only do i decide but i actually carry the responsibility for whatever decisions i make.

the old adage…too many cooks spoil the soup is quite true. saints is not a place that can twist and bend and contort itself to meet the desires and expectations of everyone with an opinion who wanders in thru our gate. maybe this happens in some other world but it does not happen at saints. anyone with a strong enough opinion on how a rescue should be, is encouraged and welcomed to start a rescue of their own and show us our mistakes and inadequacies by their own very good example. this would be a huge help to all of the animals seeking haven out there, there are not enough places out there for these animals to find good help.

while i may apologize for not being bigger and stronger and better and smarter, i will not apologize for what i do here, because i am the one doing it, every single day and i care very deeply about what i do. and no one will ever catch me bashing or beating or belittling someone else in rescue for not doing it my way. but i will categorically state that those who are not out there killing themselves and rescuing animals in need, have very little input or credibility with those of us that actually do.

this is not because we dislike them, it is not because we do not value them, it is not because we feel they are not worthwhile…it is because they are speaking and judging from a place with no comparison, no commonality, no real knowledge except what they believe they know better than you. i have learned a very simple lesson in life..the more you think you actually know, the more dangerous you actually become because once you think know everything (or anything at all) you are completely and totally screwed.

real knowledge is a burden. real knowledge opens the door to responsibility in a maze that twists and turns and doubles backwards and forwards until you have lost all sense of direction. and at that point, each cautious step forward is taken with a great deal of fear and a very healthy respect for all of the knowledge you still lack.

i don’t think i will ever reach a point when someone, somewhere is not mad at me for something that i have or have not done. there are times when it pisses me off that anyone dares to add their unhappiness and dissatisfaction, their wants and needs to my very full, overflowing plate. i utterly refuse to accept the responsibilty for choices that other folks make. i utterly refuse to bend myself into pretzels to be whatever others think i should be.

does anyone ever consider the possibility that they are not the only ones expecting me to be something totally completelky different than i actually happen to be. and how many pretzel configurations am i expected to assume to be all the different people that others expect me to be.

this is the one thing that i fight for the hardest here, and the very one thing that makes this place so great. each and every animal that comes here is valued and accepted and treasured for who they are inside. i don’t insist that they change into whoever i think they should be. and everyone who works or visits here is expected to treat them the same…i do not play favorites, i do not set one above the other, i am not nicer to or more concerned about A vs B and i do not ever let the good of the whole suffer because of human need. and i am starting to put my foot down a bit more about expecting the humans around here to figure this out and accept it and embrace it.

put your wants and needs aside, leave your anger and frustration far away…this place does not belong to anyone except who i say it belongs to..and i say it belongs to the animals here. ownership issues of tractors or shops, of barns or bunnies or dogs or cats or anything else, do not belong here…no one legally or morally owns anything here except me and i gave it away to the animals who i built this for.

make a choice to walk on past our gate and seek whatever your seeking somewhere else because i cannot give away what no longer belongs to me but i can protect it and keep it safe for them.

i do not expect everyone to like me, to agree with me, to even value what i do here but i do expect them to keep walking if they come and they don’t happen to like it here. i expect that they do not expect us to become whatever it is that’s their dream.

look around you, open your eyes….this dream is already built, if it needs to be something else than what it is, then i expect those folks to toddle on off to somewhere else, strip off their shirt, squeeze out their sweat, put their money and their life down on the table and build themselves whatever it is that they dream.

3 Comments on "build your own dreams"

  • Larraine says

    Phoebe actually naps???

  • Chris T says

    I think the point of your post is excellent Carol. I know that I choose to be a part of SAINTS because I believe in what you are doing and how you are doing it. I have yet to disagree with a decision you have made. However if I did I know that I could give you my opinion and if you agreed you might change something and if you didn’t you would follow your heart and that would be ok with me. I don’t think anyone has the right to criticize or to tell you how to do things as they have not lived a day or a week or a year in your life. Nor do they necessarily know why you do things the way that you do.

    You are doing awesome work. One only needs to look at the animals in your care to realize that they are happy and contented. SAINTS is an amazing place.

  • Deb says

    Great post, Carol.

    It’s all well and good for people to have expectations about the ethics and integrity of rescues and rescuers, but unless the people who judge are willing to prove their mettle by stepping up to the plate to build their own rescues, from the ground up, based on their morals and standards, their talk is cheap and their expectations are as much dust in the wind.

    We don’t always agree on every single issue that comes up at S.A.I.N.T.S., but I am 100% certain that every choice you make, regarding every animal in your care, is made with nothing but the best interests of that animal (and in some cases, other animals). You are not one to jump the gun or act in haste, you are careful and vigilant when dealing with the S.A.I.N.T.S. I have total confidence in your skill, knowledge and ability, but most of all, I know how passionate you are about your sanctuary.

    Nobody has the right to question your methods, and nobody has the right to assume they can do what you do better than you do it. You are S.A.I.N.T.S, and S.A.I.N.T.S is you. End of story.

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