magic air

Posted: March 15, 2009 at 2:42 pm

for all of my episodes of rage at attempts to exploit the animals at saints for either personal gain or as a weapon to score a winning point…i know that being pawns is an animal fate in the real human world. in the human world, we do not even see that this is wrong…or maybe we do which is why we wrap it up securely and tie it with an advocacy bow.

but since this is not the real world, it is theirs and my world…i get to make the rules. they elected me by virtue of my standing as the protector of the the one place that is theirs forever, the animal realm.

the animal realm is a magical place, anger and rage cannot live here for long. we have a different air supply that does not support the continued life of earthly ugly emotions.

why is our air different? because it is breathed deeply into all of them and then exhaled pure and toxin free. there is something in their metabolism that washes the air sparkling clean.

animals have likes and dislikes, they have mortal enemies too (example…4lane and tony or marty and anyone feline) but what they don’t have is the ability to lie and tell untruths. so they can hate another, but they personally hate with integrity and honor. they don’t try to drag the other animals in, they don’t pretend that it isn’t hate but something noble that is motivating them.

i didn’t get to sleep last night til almost 5 am. it took til 4 to get my knickers out of a knot and relax enough to be worthy to join the bedtime crew. when i finally got there, angel was asleep with her head on my pillow. i slipped in beside her and laid my head down within an inch of her. she stretched out long and rolled over for a belly rub. then she took her perfect little feet and like a little rodent, rubbed her nose and covered her eyes and just looked adorably sweet. it took almost another full hour for me to let go of this innocently peaceful moment and finally fall off to sleep.

today i was tired..2 hours was not enough so i finished my work early and stayed home after lunch. laura had done the adoption paperwork for mikey and james. i got to say a quick good bye before they left here forever to better things. i did the permanent foster agreement for fluke and his new dad david. i am hoping that this a perfect match for both of them so fluke too can have his happy ending.

i did a few things and then went and laid down with the bed guys for an hour. daffy is just so utterly lovely, a soft and perfect carebear. suzie wanted a cuddle so she shoved her fat body thru the body littered bed til she could snuggle into my neck. joey sat tight up behind her and reached out to lick my face, over and over again. 4lane alternated between staring at me with unfulfilled adoration from the wrong side of al’s sleeping body and turning and staring at a sleeping tony and lifting his lips in a nasty snarl. tony finally woke up, told 4lane to “f” off and shoved his wheezing, gasping face into my armpit. one day he is going to suffocate in there…he doesn’t get enough oxygen as it is. chica, peluche, les, and angel arranged themselves into an intricate pattern of a lot of dogs and their human sharing a double bed.

copper laid on the couch in the big dog room wrapped in two fleeces because he was soaking wet. he barked non stop for the entire hour for whatever reason he had.

i think living with this many animals has really in the end taught me one thing only…whoever you are, just be true to yourself and say and do what you believe,don’t just talk about in a perfect world, how perfect you actually could be.. others may or may not like this honesty intrinsic to animals (i really don’t like a lot of things these guys actually do) but i love them, i respect them, i care for and about them because they are who they say they are.

they do what they do and don’t pretend that by knocking over the garbage and stealing all of the food from the fridge that they are really saving the world and making it a better place…well maybe they are making it better but it is just for them, not for anybody else.

for all of the hassles,  for all of the pain, for all of the hardships and frustrations, this one true thing remains.

if you ever have the opportunity to live with 100 animals of different species, you will find all of them have this in common, they are honest to the core and you can trust them to be who they are.

in many ways, i am slowly learning to be like them…my rage is swift and sure..just like the fight between fluke and shrek the other day. and then it just goes away. they make it somehow go away because they don’t know how to hold on to it or maybe they just don’t care enough to keep it going. i don’t really either…i care about them, it is what i do best.
i think this is why the air is cleaner here, they filter it for me so i can breath deeply in honest contentment with them….i too am who i am.
i am grateful for their gift of sharing and i won’t ever try to steal their purified air away from them.

7 Comments on "magic air"

  • Patti says

    Amen to that Carol.

    I too am caring for 37 parrots of various species, and poodles 1 elderly, 1 abused, and one who is my sanity.

    I have always been told you cannot combine so many species of parrot in one Aviary. Yet there they are. A family. I have seen conures and my mini macaw preening and caring for cockatiels. As well as my budgie and lovebird preening one another. They’re a family. People think I am crazy… I would say they are missing out on true love.

  • Deb says

    Carol, you and only you know the contents of your heart.

    It is a sad reality that there are people with hidden agendas, grudges, overblown egos, superiority complexes, and a seeming need to pull others down in order to elevate themselves. These toxic individuals exist in every realm of society, but the rescue world seems to have them in abundance.

    You have been held under a microscope and criticized unmercifully many times before. People would far rather throw a fist than extend a hand. Those of us who know what you do at SAINTS also know that there are petty, angry, jealous and vindictive people who want to bring you down.

    Telling you to not let the bastards get you down is not only trite but impossible. They will get you down, being bullied is a horrible experience, especially when your tormentors are seasoned professionals. The one thing you can do is put it into perspective. Garbage in garbage out.

    This shouldn’t be so hard. There are some people who ought to be taking good long looks at their own motives for causing such anguish.

  • lynne says

    it is such a nice feeling of peace and fullfillment when one comes to saints. you are right, the air feels much cleaner and it feels right it is so great to go into luckys room and sit with her and pet and love her, she is so hap-py for the one on one. also to visit all the other animals, from the quietist. like lexi, who sits very patiently, waiting for a rub, to phoebe, who ;demands a rub they are all so different and unique in their own ways but all so great, from the dogs to the cats to the barn animals, etc…..it is a pleasure to be able to be with all of them, i would not trade that for anything. they are all very much loved and that is all carols credit. she has done a wonderful job with them through her pure love of them and their love of her. what a great place to be in for them.

  • John says

    I have no doubt your supporters are far greater in numbers and these are the people (and animals) you need to take to heart. The people and animals that are there in front of you, beside you, behind you, looking you in the eyes, sharing a word, sharing a touch and lending a helping hand. Take to heart what these people say, not those staying at a safe distance.

    I had more to say, but Deb said it all very well.

  • Cheryl says

    Carol:
    I am sorry you had to put up with again some person or persons that stated critism against you and SAINTS…I do think tho that you should not turn your back on Brindle. The folks on Brindle that say negative things about SAINTS are few and far between. It is not their website it belongs to all rescuers in BC and non rescuers who care about the animals. You have so much valuable expertise to share in caregiving, illness, placement and rescue and many people go to Brindle looking for just that. Many that may know nothing about SAINTS or any crap that goes on with some indvidiuals on Brindle. In fact alot of the folks who were negative left Brindle and went to another board.. I respect the information that you give on Brindle and feel that your personal blog here should not be the only spot that you share your knowledge. If someone reads you on Brindle they may then find out about SAINTS and that is a good thing..
    Anyhow I just wanted to say this and again I am sorry to hear that someone or some people gave you the gears yet again..

  • Mo says

    I really need to get my home computer back up & working, it seems I missed the storm. Naysayers,critics,petty people are everywhere , keep in my mind that the majority of people think & feel the same way about them as you do , they are just not as honest & open when dealing with them.

    Oh yea about the scotch comment on the other post… Yuk could you not have selected an alcohol I actually like… it’s not like there is a shortage of them..LOL

  • Leila says

    Carol you may remember this song from way back – early 70s when we were kids. It is called “One Tin Soldier”. It came on the radio while I was driving home today. I forgot what a powerful song it was. Even though the song was written about war between countries/cities/towns, it can easily be appicable to the way we conduct ourselves as human beings. Although there are other parts of the song that I think would resonate, I thought this stanza was particularily appicable.

    Go ahead and hate your neighbor,
    Go ahead and cheat a friend.
    Do it in the name of Heaven,
    You can justify it in the end.
    There won’t be any trumpets blowing
    Come the judgement day,
    On the bloody morning after….
    One tin soldier rides away.

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