looking for noah.

Posted: March 31, 2009 at 5:57 am

i didn’t get to any of the outside clean ups yesterday…but the shop/suite/bathroom/mp room/ex-kitten areas are all done. taking the recycling in was huge because garbage was mixed up with recycling and many of the bins had no blue bags so i had to bag everything. that sucked in the rain. and we were short staffed again yesterday which didn’t help.
when i get home tonight..the crunch is on….TG arrives on wed with a load of dogs to meet their new families. “the national” is filming on wed too. yvette is bringing us a new addition…maggie is a little terminal cancer dog who is coming here for tender loving, palliative care (TLPC). thursday we have a high school group visiting and friday, a diabetic dog is arriving from alberta. he is a multi-poo and he is a favor to beagle-paws rescue that helped me with finding blind packer a great beagle home.

i was again in bed and asleep by 9 pm last night…i don’t know what the hell is wrong with me. the dark, sleeping hours when the dogs are all peacefully resting is my most productive working on extra things time, the daily stuff is all done by then and if i want, i can do the extra things.

i think i was maybe feeling sad about toby, i really am going to miss him.

well…this room has been de-pooped and de-pee’d and so has the kitchen…i skipped out of my bedroom real quick cuz i wasn’t awake enough to deal with that….but i guess i am now…sigh.

one of the vets reminded me yesterday that our bill is getting pretty high again…shit that just started me adding everyone up in my head, coming up with an approx. new total of $15,000 and started my worry cycle all over again.

i gotta stop doing sick and senior (and incontinent) animals….lately it just feels like it is all just too much for me.

i feel like this alot lately….i guess it is time to come up with a new plan…quitting isn’t a good option for the animals (altho it might be for me) i guess i better look at other things.

clean up…tune up…tighten up….and see if i can get this floundering animal ark into less worrisome waters.

i so suck at being the captain of this rescue ship.

where is noah when you need him?

the other day i heard on the radio that some rich man, paid some rich recording artist 1.4 million dollars to sing at his 16 year old daughters birthday party….sadly, for the first time in my entire life i felt that pointless and self-defeating green envy thing.

while it is an utter useless waste of money….. why do i even care?…its not my money…(but i wanted it to be.)

shame on me.

2 Comments on "looking for noah."

  • Cheryl says

    That money could be put to such good use. For humans, and animals or research for disease. That is why you felt it was pointless. Brother! Carol it sounds like you are just burning out and need rest..if you sleep like that your body needs it.

    Don’t beat yourself up for sleeping. God knows you do more then most humans would even think of. Hopefully the fundraisers will help with the vet bills.

    Yikes Wednesday sounds crazy…hopefully the weather will at least cooperate…

  • Barbara says

    You are the best Captain for this ship – the waves may be getting very high and rough but we all know that you can weather this storm, as you have done in the past with many others.

    Thank you for taking Maggie in from Turtle Gardens she will now be where she can receive the best care and most affection for the short time she has – this should not have happened this way.

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