i feel like crap today

Posted: April 2, 2009 at 6:07 am

my sinus headache is killing me, i am tired and it freaking snowed lasted night.

i am being punished, i am consumed with guilt, i told a giant lie on film yesterday. and i told the lie because i was ashamed and it just slipped out before i could think.

you just watch…there is seven hours of real truth to edit down to a few brief minutes of story and that freaking lie will make it thru all the cutting and editing right to the final product that everyone sees.

i could just kill myself.

everyone lies sometimes…even me, it is a self protecting thing.

so this is how the lie went…i am sitting on my bed with a bunch of dogs…the camera is  a foot away from my face and the reporter is astonished that 7 dogs are sleeping on my bed at night  (ok so i know it is nutz)…we are talking about incontinence and pooping/peeing animals which is not nice to live with (and i know this is nutz too)…i am beginning to panic as i feel “crazy” closing in and out of the corner of my eye i see copper, the little bastard…walk into my room, squat 2 feet away from us in plain view and take a poop. (in my head i am screaming….oh my freaking god copper…i am going to kill you!)

the reporter leans closer to pet angel who is cuddled up to my side and he peers close at her and asks….”what’s that on her nose?”  and out flew that freaking lie.

i look away, i can’t make eye (or camera) contact and i mumble something about maybe cancer/maybe biospy..shit i am not even sure what freaking bullshit i said.

its RINGWORM…why didn’t i just say it…or why didn’t i just say, its a lesion or a fungal infection or something non specific but still totally true????

because i am a freaking weak and spineless cowardly liar who is obviously ashamed because a dog in my care got something gross like ringworm and STILL sleeps on my bed.

in my head i know she has ringworm because she is diabetic and i let the forgotten feline ringworm cats get in our door and bring it in here…and there is not much i can do about that except deal with it til we finally wipe it out. and i wouldn’t not take those cats in again knowing it would probably affect some of the immuno compromised because…ringworm is just not a big deal.

UNLESS you actually have to say the word while looking like a nut case on national tv.

i so suck and someone please shoot me and put me out of my misery.

7 Comments on "i feel like crap today"

  • Nicole says

    you are such a dork, punish yourself by cuddling her face and then go have some tea and try really hard to relax for once (don’t then think about what you’d look like with ringworm on your face, that might stress you more).

  • Tracey says

    I dont understand why there is all this stigma out there about ringworm; you said it best… it is just not a big deal. Any animal can get ringworm from walking outside. Any human can get ringworm from walking outside or trying on clothes in a mall. A local vet posted that this year has been particularly bad for ringworm in our area.

    I think the perception comes from if there is ringworm, the premises must be “dirty”, which is simply not true.

    Yes, it can be a pain to get rid of and yes the spores can take a long time to wipe out, and yes one must be dilligent, but such is life in an environment that houses multiple animals and takes in strays.

    Out of thousands we have had, no animal has died from ringworm, and no animal has had ringworm permanently; they are all cleared eventually. Some need meds, most do not.

    Currently in our shelter, we have 4 cats with ringworm. They came to us that way from other shelters that were going to kill them because of it. I am delighted that they are with us; alive, happy and on the mend.

    If that makes me a nut job, sign me up.

  • Sandi says

    It might help to equate it to Athlete’s Foot in humans, caused by the same family of fungi. Up to 70% of the population will have this condition at some point in their lives and it is easily treatable with topical antifungals (clotrimazole or miconazole).

    Put in this perspective, you should be able to explain Ringworm to the lay person & remove the stigma.

  • Lindsay says

    You mis-spoke. Take a chill pill. It was all happening too quickly. —So you get 99 on the test instead of 100.

    This is related to the “Dopelar effect”: the tendency to think a stupid idea is smart because it comes at you quickly.

    And you are a Dope. But nothing worse. 🙂

    — AND, you COULD phone the station and ask them to edit it out. Tell them you couldn’t think that fast and said something that wasn’t true. Ask them to take it out. They’ll think you’re nutz for worrying about it, but you’d feel better–whether they edit it out or not.

  • Carol says

    they were already here today to finish the filming…i told them i lied to them…i still can’t believe that came out of my mouth yesterday.

  • Beverly says

    Hmmm well suppose you had told the truth and the reporter would not pat Angel or pulled away from her? People are weird like that and perhaps that may have been an unkind moment for Angel.

    She got some loving instead of shunning so an off the cuff fib shouldn’t count lol.

  • hornblower says

    I think the problem with ringworm is the ‘worm’ part. People think it’s parasites instead of fungal – which is a much more acceptable condition to be afflicted with. Ringworm just sounds too much like tapeworm, hookworm etc etc even to those of us who KNOW it’s fungal, saying that worm part I think sticks in the throat sometimes.

    My dd has ringworm right now…. like you say not a big deal (though a pita to get rid of)

    Glad you got the little white lie off your chest with the tv people 🙂

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