Rescue Journal

it smells in the house again...

Carol  ·  Apr. 15, 2009

i just don't get it...it didn't smell last night or this morning after i cleaned but tonight it does again.

people must be missing cleaning something that i clean but i can't pin point what it is....it is driving me insane.

i am in a down funk mood...lunch time was utterly chaotic with the vet and visitors here. my morning and afternoon at work was chaotic and the medical care for the FeLV cats is getting really insane too. the vet noticed today that asia is a bit jaundiced..she has been eating and tonight i gave her some of betsy's tube feed and she ate that right away. i am thinking we have to ditch ALL the crappy friskies and fancy feast that they like and switch them to straight high protein kitten food....canned and dry. maybe that will help them get enough calories in. anyway... i won't even consider a tube feed for asia...if she is jaundiced, it has nothing to do with URI or not getting enough to eat because she is basically over her URI and eating just fine. i am thinking that maybe her liver is getting toxic from drug use...i know the shelter that they came from used tetracycline in food and water routinely to try to control the infections in there (i know this because of high dose tetracycline staining of their teeth)....i know the SPCA had them on antibiotics for 2 months before they came here and i know in the 4 months they have been here, we have had them on multiple antibiotics plus vetamino and viralyse alot too.

this disease is such a losing battle..i am so tempted to say screw it and leave them alone..... wait for the first sign of actual illness and then poof, bring out the needle and just let them go.

except...rock did get better, misfit is on the mend, and so is mosley...asia got better til her liver started to act up now....what is the freaking answer here???? i can't find it.

is the struggle, the heartbreak, the work even worth it to them?...geezus...i just do not know.

I WANT SOME FREAKING ANSWERS!!!!! i am so tired of guessing and trying to figure things out. i want god or whoever is in charge to send me an email that is actually clear and HELPFUL!
i don't know if i will keep doing felv cats when these guys are all gone...the worry, the expense, the sadness, the frustration, the guilt... the workload alone, really is too much to handle.

and....today...i am just plain tired of hard.

SHIT!!! i wonder if they are B12 toxic..i just did some reading and apparently B12 is stored in the liver altho B12 toxicity is usually not much of a problem but......hmmm, are we a bit too free with the vetamino????? i am now thinking on this.

Comments

Hillevi

I know that you wouldn't let them go before their time. I with you on the tulips thing! It's easy for me to look at one aspect of the animal care you do and to not consider everything else - I am sorry - you do have a lot to deal with and consider. I wish that I could be there to help - for now my help will just have to consist of clicking every day on the challenge. In the meantime, please don't wonder if any of the animals in your care would have been better off somewhere else or without you ----- Aladdin, Albus, Charlie (that cutie) and all the rest of the Americats are SCREAMING a resounding "NO!!!! WE LOVE IT HERE!!!"

Hillevi

I know that you wouldn't let them go before their time. I with you on the tulips thing! It's easy for me to look at one aspect of the animal care you do and to not consider everything else - I am sorry - you do have a lot to deal with and consider. I wish that I could be there to help - for now my help will just have to consist of clicking every day on the challenge. In the meantime, please don't wonder if any of the animals in your care would have been better off somewhere else or without you ----- Aladdin, Albus, Charlie (that cutie) and all the rest of the Americats are SCREAMING a resounding "NO!!!! WE LOVE IT HERE!!!"

Carol

thx elanor..i will keep that in mind. first we are going to trial another supplement in there...immunocal, it has the science and studies behind it and it does sound promising. i sent the link to our vet, she thinks it might be worth a try. we can only trial one thing at a time or it just gets too muddled on what works and what doesn't. but if this doesn't do it...i will try the transfer factor next.


i won't really kill them hillvi, or at least, not until each one hits the final wall and gives up...but honestly???? the emotional and physical burden of 4 difficult diabetics, an every two hour tube feed plus the pain issue animals, the palliatives, the freaky needy ones...money and staffing issues, and an felv area with one crises after another is really making me wish i could just close my eyes and let them all go and pretend it is the right thing to do.

life would be so much easier and less painful if i could go back about 15 years and learn to like to grow tulips.

Hillevi

Carol, are you SERIOUS???!!!! Is the loving, wonderful, safe life the FeLV cats have had with you even worth it to them? Let's see: extreme heat during the day, cold nights, dust storms, no human contact/interaction, no medical care, fighting for food vs. climate controlled environment, food a plenty, loving humans, pizza/chicken/etc. food feasts, a safe outdoor area with lounging beds (shelves), movie nights . . . Shall I go on?

Don't you dare take the needle to them at the first sign of trouble!!! You are so much better than that mind set.

Eleanor

I use the supplement Transfer Factor Plus Tri Factor for the FeLV cats or any other fragile cats here and they are all doing great - good weights and no viruses. It's pricey but keeps them healthy and is well worth it - cheaper than vet bills. My vet now also uses it for really sick or immune compromised cats and dogs.