the hairy eyeball

Posted: June 18, 2009 at 5:31 am

we’ve all seen it…“THE LOOK”….jerry is a master except he does the double hairy eyeball…that silent contemplation of someone’s impending death.

last night i had him wedged between my pillow and my hip. the plan was to block his view of the other guys as they came from the end of the bed, left side to take their turns for cuddles. not to be thwarted, jerry just whipped around from behind to nail them if they even dared to think they were getting anything from me which apparently belongs to him.

he startled sweet little daphne..a very big NO! NO!  around here. so i picked her up, plopped her down right next to him and started kissing her and rubbing her belly and making a HUGE fuss over her. she liked it a lot. he lay on my pillow quietly looking slightly perplexed..like “why does she like that one so much???” but..he left her alone.

when we were done with our mushy fest, daphne jumped up on the pillows next to him and settled herself to sleep. jerry just looked at her in horror for a second, put his nose next to hers and pretended all was well in his world with the beloved daffy duck dog half a millimeter from his face.

i should not pick jerry up..i should not let him up on the bed, i should kick him out of my computer chair..i should make that little evil poodle, live on the floor until he learns to behave.

unfortunately…. he is just too freaking twisted cute for me…i suck at some pretty basic training things.

LIKE…

getting the hairy eyeball each night from lucas as soon as i decide it is time for him to move.

he wants to stay in the entranceway…he knows that is niko’s bedroom but he wants it to be his bedroom and he resents having to move.

plus by the end of the night…that dog is stiff and sore…making him move reminds him of this so he grumpily gives me the hairy and silently deadly eyeball.

he bit me the first night i made him actually move, then i snapped a leash on him and i won the bedroom for the night war.

now that silent eyeball says..i might have to bite you if you even think to touch that leash…ok..ancient, arthritic dog who just wants to be left alone so he can sleep…niko outside in the front yard, preferring not to come in.

there is only one answer…grab two ice cream sandwiches..one to move lucas into the kitchen to his just as soft bed on the floor…and the other to move a reluctant and complaining and equally old niko in the freaking front door.

who are the bosses around here anyway?

carl, percy, pete and edith got the zoomies at dusk last night.

the moronic bedroom dogs were quiet and good so i left the sliding door to the yard open til almost 10 pm and they wandered in and out as needed (hey! no mess on the floor.) i usually shut everyone in from 8pm til 8am so they don’t get all noisily retarded and bug the neighbors at night.

i SHOULD have shut the door at 9:45 BEFORE the barn guys got the zoomies cuz at 9:46 we had a crazy dog vs crazy barnyard fun fence fighting thing. they were ALL zooming up and down the fence line..percy was bucking and having a blast. the dogs were beside themselves in joyful idiocy and even carl was bucking and flying around. edith and pete were playfully ramming the wire which sent the dogs into even more of a frenzy. it was like the late evening neighborhood water balloon fights we used to have when we were kids (minus the water balloons but with 4 instead of 2 feet each). all that good natured chaos, that almost violence that was so very much fun exploded in this very noisy species vs species fence war in my supposed to be very quiet and settled back yard.

i yelled at the idiot dogs and sent them all into the house..i sternly told those barn freaks to settle down right now!
they all listened to me cuz for that one very short moment i was the fun sucking mad mom who ruined their game.

i was the boss with the scary hairy eyeballs.

hah!

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