i went thru the barn bedtime routine slowly...quietly. savoring one moment at a time. i fed spritely some of gideons special hay. i gave her 2 extra apples. i did everything i could think of to do to make sure they were all comfortable tonight.
i took too long. rosie had gotten stuck half on and half off one of the beds, there she lay immobile waiting for help. felix was bouncing and barking wanting some cuddles. doris was sitting in the middle of a puddle barking cuz she wanted some food. and archie was shivering in an open crate because even with his sweater on, with the air conditioner still on from today, he is still damp and cold from his bath.
bobby brown got booted out of his cage, i need him to move forward with his adjustment. he is so not happy. i opened the cage door back up and he can go back in if he wants.
cali was moved over to the house rthe other day...she got booted out of her cage too. she is doing better than bobby brown tho...she already was successful with her first adjustment to freedom in the medical room. each past success makes the next challenge easier to manage.
when i said that all of the new saints were in, i had forgotten one 17 yr old cat. her elderly owner died a year ago and she went to live with his son. sadly the son's dog has attacked her twice and now she would not go back into the house. he wasn't sure if the food he put out was eaten by her or the raccoons. he did not want her to spend the winter outside and asked if she could come here. anyway..he got all of her vetting done, including blood work for us. and today we welcome "angie"...she got the last medical room pen while she learns to make the adjustment to us.
apollo and marty are home. they now live pen free in the medical room. apollo's insulin dose is down to 2 units twice a day. he looks bright but he lost a lot of weight, he was glad to see his fancy feast again.
marty is still drowsy from the sedation to get his chest xray today. hopefully he will be back to his old self, at least for a little while.
i shed tears three times today...for spritely, for marty and for stevie and stuart. i put the two bunnies together..both recently beat up in the last unsuccessful bondings we tried. stevie stretched out on his belly and slid his head under stuart's chin. stuart bent down and began grooming him.
it is a match, they now each have a friend.
Here is a quote I found that my mom wrote ... which I just think is wonderful and I would lik to share it for those who have not read it before ....
"For those who choose to provide palliative care ... it is a rocky road of joy, and sadness and hopefully, peace. The peace comes when deep in your heart you know that you helped that animal find peace too. Death is not the heart breaking monster, life is. It is their barren lives and the possibility of their lonely cold deaths, unwanted and unloved that is the real monstrous thing. Once they come to us, whether for a week or a year or even a moment in time, we have slayed that lonely monster and banished it forever from them. The SAINTS do not die in lonely backyards, or cold, cement kennels, or shelter back rooms, or afraid in sterile vet clinics with strangers around them…they die in our arms with our tears upon their face. And that moment of death means nothing, except the gentle end of this life that they had. And with us, the life that they had as they meet the final end is one that is warm, and loved, and full of peace. This is what we focus on, and what we remember each and every time we bear witness to their passing. Their death is our loss, and yes it wounds our hearts, but it is a little wound that heals quickly because it is a wound knowingly accepted to give them a life that they felt was cherished ... Thinking of all of this and remembering each life’s ending as I wrap my heart around them, and mostly remembering every single smile upon their face before they left us…that is how I get thru each day and not fear tomorrow.
- Carol Hine