not much sleep and i woke up with a migraine...

daffy's chest is full again..i had no choice but to totally ignore the vet and dose her last night like i would an end stage cardiac patient...we are much more generous with lasix in humans ( we give frequent doses up to 300 or 400mgs to keep the fluid level in the lungs under control.) anyway...she had 40 mgs of lasix at 3, 6, 9, 3am, and 6 am this morning. when she got up to pee because the lasix was moving fluid out thru her kidneys...she started coughing again. BUT...once she was finished pee'ing and settled back into bed, she stopped coughing and slept. it was the best balance we could achieve last night, and it does mean that her heart is done, there won't be any short term miracle reprieve. i will call the clinics this morning to book her appointment.

i think i am ok with it now...i hope daffy is ok with it now too...we will see. we still have lot's of pizza to take with us so that should make her happy, even if she does have to go into the clinic.

it is much easier to end the suffering of a dog who accepts that she is actually suffering. daphne doesn't know how to suffer, it is just not in her life vocabulary. she is breaking my heart.

her previous foster family, sent me an email the other day, checking on how she was doing. i gave them an update and they would like to see her before she goes. i am not sure how the timing and logistics on this is going to work and that is another worry...trying to balance multiple needs and do things right.

oh well..i am going to try not to worry or stress about this...i will just do the best that i can in arranging an appointment that will get daffy the help she needs in passing and their very much needed chance to say good bye. there were some hurt feelings when i brought her back a year ago, but her medical needs were too complex for the average family to meet and daphne needed what i could give her here.
hopefully it will all fit well together to give daffy's end of life, closure and peace, it is the best i can do.