WTF????

Posted: February 21, 2010 at 7:27 am

i woke up this morning..cleaned up the floors, made my tea, got dressed, let the dogs out and finally looked in the mirror when i went to brush my hair….who the hell is that???

my nose is swollen…it is like carl malden with my messed up hair was inside my bathroom mirror. now i know as you get older, your nose grows (my daughter likes to tell me this quite frequently) and i know that i happen to be in possession of a fairly large blob of a nose,…but jeezus..does it like grow overnight????

maybe that block headed suzie was beating on me more than usual last night and i happened to sleep thru the cheap shot nose blow?

maybe when tiny and frail little felix was flinging himself around last night, he flung himself against my nose at just the right angle so it did not hurt but it got big???

oh god..what if it stays like this? what if it suddenly decided i was old and wrecked enough now for it to grow really big?
what if i end up having to shave my hair and my now humungous nose looks even bigger with a bald head?????

i am going to shoot myself this morning…god damn dogs, god damn hair shaving fundraisers. god damn freaking growing noses….

i was perfectly happy this morning til i looked in the mirror…god damn freaking mirrors..i am getting rid of all of them, ignorance used to be bliss.

11 Comments on "WTF????"

  • lynne says

    what fun. i am picturing it. i have not laughed so hard on a sunday morning as i did today. see you soon. i can bring my camera if you want a pic of your nose lol

  • Jenn says

    ooops sorry. I must have given you a complex … ok I won’t comment on the growth of your nose and ears anymore but honestly I am also worried about how large mine will grow too!!!

  • laura says

    OMG…..I’m laughing sooo hard I’m crying…thanks that felt good even though it was at your expense!

  • Mauro Salles says

    Break the mirror or use one of those that distort the images in excess. An old friend used to say that all the mirrors lie, we have to remember that they always show an inverted and unrealistic image (in fact he was an ugly guy). Or shoot yourself, but not the dogs, cats, rabbits … πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚ πŸ™‚

  • emma says

    Most of us feel OK until we look in the mirror or step on the scales first thing in the morning! If your head is bald it may take the attention away from your nose but if it is still big by then maybe you should see a doctor or have plastic surgery!. I hate waking up to something different happening on or in my body. Is it age or just bad luck or God having fun?? Either way something we can do without.

  • Charlotte says

    Bald head? Big nose? Telly Savalas! New fundraising idea – Kojak lookalike contest! (was kojak shown in Canada?)

  • emma says

    I bet people watched Kojak all over the world! Of course you have to have the right shaped head to carry off being bald.

  • Rae says

    Hey, no one told me that my nose and ears are going to keep on growing. That totally sucks!!!!!!! I agree Carol, mirrors are not our friends πŸ™‚

  • Larraine says

    You really need to write that book Carol. Maybe then you wouldn’t have to have any more hair shaving fundraiser.

  • Mauro Salles says

    I posted something about you writing a book, a few weeks ago. The contents of this BLOG is enough for a big best-seller, because there are many sad stories and also several extremely funny, all non-fictional events that expose the reality of animal rescue. There are priceless things like “To the person who phoned me with a donation for our pub fundraiser… So Sorry” (February 17, 2010). πŸ™‚

  • Larraine says

    Ditto to Mauro. And this:
    “I woke up this morning..cleaned up the floors, made my tea, got dressed, let the dogs out and finally looked in the mirror to brush my hair….who the hell is that???”

    It’s hilarious. It made me laugh. Who (at our age)can’t relate to looking in the mirror and having that same thought.

    The makings of a great book laughter, sadness, tears of joy etc etc. All in this blog. I guess you just need someone to put it together.

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