freak out time.

Posted: June 5, 2010 at 6:44 pm

it was one of those disasterous barn bedtime things…i got home at 530 and came in the house and picked up the mop…i ordered pizza for jenn and i cuz A..we are watching a movie…and B because she did such a good job organizing all the incoming info on the blog. at quarter to six, she said aren’t you putting the barn guys to bed?…oh…yes i am..i should have looked at them when i got home but shame on me i didn’t.

when i got out to the barn..there was gideon and czar chowing down on a knocked over bucket of old/discarded chicken house feed.

holy fucking shit!!! get out now and what the hell is that doing there anyhow?????!!!!! omg! it is one of those things that happens, it happens to you, it happens to me….massive brain farts and the next thing you know the horses are eating something they are not supposed to eat.

(note to everyone…all dumped feed from any area goes IMMEDIATELY into the dumpster please.)

it looks like they got about a quarter of the bucket..hard to tell because some of it was scattered around on the ground. still, it means another couple of days of watching and worrying and for sure checking on them thru out tonight every couple of hours. 

it did not help that there was no cool calories, no apples for bedtime and some of the feed bins were empty..it all played together in a massive mess of miscommunication to screw up bedtime tonight.

i said to jenn , it is god damn conspiracy to kill me (cuz i KNOW no one wants to kill gideon or czar)

and Ellie wanted her bed and apples ASAP
elliegiddon and czar

i need to get out of rescue, there are too many disasters waiting at home to happen for me…i don’t want the stress of it any more…i just wanted to come home and share a pizza and a movie with my daughter. rescue sucks big time today/

(big sigh…i can hear it coming, shades of swinger……. oh yay….anyway…it happened, and ignoring it or pretending it didn’t won’t make it go away.)

10 Comments on "freak out time."

  • K.O. says

    Carol, I’ve got two boxes of apples, I will bring them in the morning.

  • Colleen Donnelly says

    The discarded chicken feed in the bucket was my fuck up. No one elses. I own that one…I should not have wavered in my mind on how to dispose of it and just dump it in the dumpster. * note to self, I will NEVER make that potentially HUGE mistake again*

    Also the few near empty feed bins….I own that too. I mistakenly assumed that they were going to be transferred to the old hay shed this weekend to make room for Tunie’s room. On purpose I didn’t fill them to make them easier to move. * note to self, NEVER assume*

  • Carol says

    shit happens to all of us at some point or another…it would be great if we were all perfect but i have not met a single perfect human being, EVER..(although some folks have tried to lead me to believe they were perfect but that was just delusional bullshit.)

    the real important thing to remember tho…is…not to be too judgemental and mean with someone else’s screw up cuz one day that uncomfortable shoe could well be on our own very sore foot.

    this is my gentle way of saying that i won’t tolerate the shit that happened last time around, with swinger, starting all over again.

    i will be honest and report the mistakes that we make in caring for animals here but i am not too interested in my honesty being used as an intentionally hurtful weapon against saints or myself. being called a horse killer once in my life is more than enough.

    i hope that is crystal clear.

    (i am checking every couple of hours and so far gideon and czar are doing just fine.)

  • Jenn says

    Thanks for the movie and pizza mommy … which I bossed you to get!!!

  • lynne says

    i know how you feel about swinger , it was not your fault but somehow people make it that way. when you were talking about people doing stupid things in rescue and having the animals brought back to the rescuer i thought about copper and how stupid i was with him and how it cost him his life and every time i read something about how someone did something wrong with the animals i feel that i could have done something better and taken better care of copper. i so truly believe that i let him down, carol down and myself down. i cannot undo the past i am so sorry. i just wonder if carol will ever let me have another animal from her shelter again. i hope so.

  • lynne says

    i am also thinking now that i have 2 rescued animals off my mail walk, i am a letter carrier, and starbuck who was in the pound for 14 months so i am not such a bad person,. whew

  • Carol says

    i will tell you something about guilt lynne..it is fine to let it eat at you for a bit while you figure things out but eventually you have to let go of it…learn whatever lessons you can and move on, hopefully knowing and understanding more than before.

    copper died of complications of his cushings disease, his liver was toast..the bones were really bad timing on his part but copper was never one to pass up a chance to steal some food.
    you did not know how dangerous bones are until copper came to your house….lot’s of folks give them and you never had a problem so what’s the big deal?

    once upon a time there were bones for the dogs in my house too…i learned some things along the way..about obstructions and salmonella and perforated GI tracts, i even learned that dogs can develop abcesses in their throats and can have the roofs of their mouths eaten away. i learned that even mild mannered dogs can get into a very serious fight over something as simple as a stupid bone.
    sometimes you learn things from actually living them..those lessons stay with us for a very long time.

    sooooo i don’t let the dogs have them any more…tough luck, too bad, life goes on with less heartache, vet bills and pain. for me?…not having bones won’t hurt them, not getting them won’t destroy any happy life. from my experience i don’t give them but many other people do.

    i believe we all learn our own lessons for our unique experiences in life…but..i also believe that we are responsible for whatever choices we make to learn as much as we can and then decide if we want or need to re-think and re-evaluate what we have done in the past.

    that is how we grow. but at some point we do need to find a way to come to terms with the things that we feel we might have done differently if we had known where we were about to go. that is how we make something eventually good come from heartache.
    i have made a million mistakes in my lifetime (like swinger) and i am sure i will make a few more. i could sit in a chair and refuse to ever act or try to live and then maybe i wouldn’t ever make any more.

    copper had a good life..i know cuz i saw that fat little bugger enjoy living it. he made it to 13 years old which considering some of the stunts he had pulled over the years, was pretty amazing really.

    ease up on yourself..copper was a genius for getting in trouble whenever he could.

  • Kim says

    Well, we all screw up. We wouldn’t be human if we didn’t.

  • Louise says

    Colleen, Lynne, Carol….you have admitted you have made a mistake or two, but at least you were volunteering/fostering/living each day to help and save animals that need it! You should be proud of the fact you care and actually do something about it, that is a lot more than some people ever do in this lifetime.
    You are all awesome.

  • Mo says

    Gosh yes we have all screwed up, we are human & imperfect I recall several instances in my past i wish I could live over. Everyone was good today …except perhaps Ellie Mae, she just wanted to hang out in her stall , perhaps too much sun yesterday.. or not enough today, she is also a fair weather pig.. I finally kicked her out at 1 30 when we were finishing up… try making Ellie do anything she doesn’t really want to do.. it’s takes cunning, timing & good treats !!!

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