the dirty detective

Posted: December 27, 2011 at 7:06 pm

i am laying on the bed with the bed buddies who are going nutz with a bunch of new and exciting toys, watching channel 40’s current run of sappy movies, and suddenly i smell shit. i turn on the light… i look all around me…no shit in sight..i get up, look all around the floor..not a pile to be seen and then i realize i don’t smell it anymore. maybe fat boy joey who farts regularly let loose in his playing frenzy. i lay back down and turn off the light and a few minutes later the smell is back again. i turn the light back on, look under and even turn daphne upside down in case she is hiding something accidental and look all around again…nothing.

man i must be poop paranoid crazy! i settle back down and a few minutes later the smell is overwhelming back again…i kick all of the dogs off the bed and i toss all of the toys, pull off all of the blankets and move all of the pillows…the bed is completely poop free. one by one they all come back with their toys and start playing again and suddenly the smell disgustingly wafts right by my head…

FERGUS!!!!!
mr. poop ball butt was busted. i couldn’t find the source because of course! the freaking poop smell source just kept hyperactively moving up and down, here and there, to and fro and everywhere!!!

anyway..i grabbed the little shit out of luck, spastic, toy playing, poopy butt, hyperactive, one-eyed freak and tossed him in the kitchen sink and shampoo’d and hosed him down.
i am relieved to report that i am not a paranoid imaginary pooh smelling freak and fergus is happily back motoring around with various toys in his mouth in hyperactive high speed glee…. minus the poopy ass.

sometimes living even marginally pleasantly around here means one must be a determined dirty detective…. sort of like… shitluck holmes.

No Comments on "the dirty detective"

  • lynne says

    oh my god that was tooo funny. i can picture it all to vividly. oh well, i guess shit happens, so to speak.

  • Brenda says

    Good for you for discovering the source. Fergus is so cute!! I was in a meeting last week and kept smelling shit – really strong. At the break I discovered a bag of doggie shit in my pocket, from a walk with my dogs the day before. How embarassing – I’m sure everyone thought I was farting thru out the meeeting. Anyway, I made an announcement when the meeting resumed – to clear the air, so to speak!

  • Carol says

    ok..THAT was FUNNY!

  • Diana says

    I woke up to that smell early this morning. But, it was easy to find the little wet mound in the middle of my bedroom floor – I guess I gave Kiva a little too much turkey leftovers for dinner.

  • cheryl and stef says

    okay these are hysterical stories, It actually made us feel better here at the house on POO CORNER. A few times a day we have little POOCIDENTS here either attached to rocky or smeared in his bed. Thanks for helping us laugh about it now…

  • carly says

    Sometimes it happens with Nikka, my dog. Once when she was really sick,she got it ALL over her crate,her self and the blanket…yuck! And the other night she got sick all over the stairs and rug upstairs.

  • Doreen says

    If my dog koko (the daschund) has an accident, she likes to hide it! If she uses her doggy diaper when we are not home she will fold the diaper into a sqaure and then shove the diaper into the corner as hard as she can to hide her poopy. she is the only dog I have ever had that is so concerned about hiding her mess. gotta love them for their individuality!! On the other hand, if she is mad at me, she will pee on the carpet though she is house trained. The odd time I will come home and my two dogs have smeared poop everywhere but not a single smudge is on the dogs. They do this on purpose I swear as this only happens when we go out and they did not get to come with us…I ask them “which one of you did this??” they both look at me with there big brown eyes to say “not me” . gotta love them for their mischievious ways.

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