well

Posted: August 20, 2012 at 7:04 am

today is the first day of another of my week holidays..except i booked in 4 casual shifts in mission so i don’t think this week constitutes as a vacation week any more. so i am downgrading it to a work week with three days off…yes, now i feel better. somedays it is all on how i choose to look at things.

excuse me mya….but exactly how many tennis balls are you planning to eat????? probably having that many peices of tennis balls inside of you is not a really good thing!
love this dog tho…a GREAT DOG is living at saints.

this week are the trial shifts for the last of the two potentials before a final decision on hiring is made. and while i am excited about the new little barn, i get stressed because of the disruption building will cause.

i am still second guessing myself on the size of the shed and dicking around back and forth..i need to decide today before the cement pad is formed.

cuz here are the things i have to think on…how long will dixie actually need that single shed? and should i maybe go back to my original plan and make it a three stall goat shed instead?

there is a practical question inside my head that hurts me every time it comes forward…how long is gideon here for? and then i hate myself for asking it. please god i want him for a long time, happy and well. but when i watch him, i think….he is getting so frighteningly old and frail.

if you ask me..the very hardest part of saints is helplessly standing by and watching a real live god in your life, weaken and begin to insidiously fail.

37 years seems like such a long life but only the past 8 have been here with me and i want those lost 29 years of not knowing and loving and being awed to my core by him.

never fall in love with magical ancient white knights..it is heart filling and heart breaking.

there is no cauldron of gold at the end of this rainbow..there is just an empty bucket waiting to be filled with tears.

7 Comments on "well"

  • Curt says

    How is The Rock doing today?

  • Helga says

    I looked in on him when I brought some laundry back this morning and he was a bit wobbly but was out and about and quite vocal. Yay!!

  • Ellen says

    I foster for the SPCA and have had 3 puppies for 9 weeks and they were 2 days old when I got them. Tomorrow will be a bittersweet day as they go to their forever homes.My cauldron will be half full or half empty with tears.

  • Mo says

    However, what a wonderful 8 years it has been. Gideon probably humped a whole whack of kids around a riding ring in his day, I remember when he was spryer ( is that a word )and would do an extended trot across the field..that pony has seen the inside of a show ring no doubt.

    When he came to SAINTS after having a free to good home..then a free lease home..I think he was spent & had given in to his fate..instead, he soon realized…at SAINTS he called the shots.. I’d like to go out now please..thank you..I know I never finished breakfast, however I’d like to have lunch now ..please..thank you..I’d like an apple now please…No not the green one..the red one one..please..thank you.. I’d like to go in this field now..please..thank you…Yes you can groom me..for 10 minutes and then I am done..thank you..I’ll be removing this fly mask in approx 1 hour ..thank you

    Gideon is a wonderful pony and it is terribly hard to think about his day coming, but he is one of the lucky ones..I wish they could all spend their last years getting waited on.

  • dawn says

    Carol,

    Did you go and look at Smokey’s left ear?

    Thanks!

  • Carol says

    thx for the reminder i started him on ear meds but forgot to do up a med card.

  • Marla in SD says

    What a beautiful sentiment for your White Knight. Tears…

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