i need to put percy to rest…

Posted: October 26, 2012 at 10:21 pm

so i can deal with riley’s loss and all of the other animals alive and needing my full involvement around here.

percy’s loss like some of the other previous losses, hits me in a more vulnerable place.

i don’t know if it was just because we raised him from a baby to the giant he became…but i think it is more than that.

all of these animals move me in some way or another. but there are that few that knock me off my feet. bill, tyra, tally, cole, hook, frodo, cuddles, marilla, clyde, daphne, copper, julie, ogidie, daffy duck dog, mickey D, spritely, gideon, petunia, ellie, twosey, raven, mystic…and percy (there are more, but just to name a few….. so you get the idea…there are actually quite a lot..past and present. in this regard i have been truly blessed.

it isn’t just a matter of the depths of love…it is somehow, some of these animals astound me.

i can’t stop thinking about how many lives percy was responsible for changing. not just mine or the staff or volunteers, not just the visitors here, not just the blog readers from afar either….but emily’s, joy’s, todd’s, spot’s, jeanette’s and even little ziggy’s. directly because of percy….5 other cows and three goats were saved. when ziggy needed a family to fit into, percy was the first to offer himself as a friend.

over the past five years i have watched percy lick himself into countless hearts. i have watched him mourn the loss of his loved ones when their end of life came.

i shed tears as he chased and cried out against the truck that took his dead friends away. and today all i could think about was that his hated truck came for him today.

percy is one of the animals who taught me so much. that the value of life….loving, friendship, companionship, comfort and the pursuit of happiness is not unique just to us.

and i feel such a deep sense of loss that i can no longer look out my window and see our most beloved giant oaf. that i cannot walk out into the pasture and lay my head against the side of one of my most trusted friends. that i cannot take his face in my hands as his tongue wrapped itself around my arm and feel him try to take me all in.

i think he grew so big because he was so full of love…he loved all of us.

so many memories…..from the tiny babe with his bottle, to the young calf playing with his young pig friend, the tears steaming down his face when jeanette was taken away, licking and licking spritely’s dead body, the warm smell of him as i buried my face into his neck. i see him drinking beer and coke, his utter obsession and fascination with any kind of mechanical vehicle. i see him when he was so terribly sick, recovering from his last surgery, i see him stealing hay out of the back of my van. and i see him tossing his giant head into the shavings and hog fuel piles…playful and having a blast….just last week.

and i see the people who loved him…touching him, brushing him, getting licked and swallowed by him and trying to outrun him with his feed bowl in hand.

and i can’t stop thinking….what a terrible loss this world has suffered because one gentle giant and kind hearted magical steer has passed beyond us, never to be here again.

13 Comments on "i need to put percy to rest…"

  • Bridget says

    it’s a terrible loss to SAINTs, and to all those who loved him.
    he would never have had this time if it wasn’t for SAINTs.
    he was SAINTs’ Percy- and he always will be. <3

  • janet nicholson says

    Percy is so lucky to have been able to give so much love and laughter to us – his end was tragic – and everyone who reads your blog must be in tears – we weep with all of you, Carol, even though who only knew Percy through your pictures, the video and your blog – he truly was a prince.
    And may little Riley also rest in peace.

  • Fiona says

    Yep, I’m in tears. Such a loss.

  • Penny says

    Carol – your blog is such a wonderful testament to what a truly amazing animal Percy was. Very moving, and yes, I’m still in tears from it. I’m sure Percy was at Saints for a reason, to show everyone how important love, acceptance, sharing and caring, and the simple joy of living are. Last time I looked, there were almost 50 comments of love and loss on the blog regarding his passing – even from people who never met him – that’s so amazing. Percy will always be in your heart, but I can’t imagine the loss you’re feeling right now – not just over Percy, but Riley too.

  • erin says

    percy is the first cow ive ever met, up close. i always think of him as mr. personality, he taught me, someone with zero farm animal experience, just how amazing and gentle and emotional a cow can be. what a loss.

  • Deb says

    Dear Carol,
    What a beautiful tribute to Percy!
    You do amazing things at SAINTS–taking vulnerable animals like Percy and Riley and making them feel safe and loved.
    Thank you for taking their vulnerability on yourself. The horrible loss you feel when they pass is a final testament to their worth.
    Hugs,
    Deb

  • carly says

    Percy taught me that not all cows are scaredy cats. He was probablt the first giant cow I ever got to scratch and get licked by. RIP…

  • Brent says

    Way Way off Topic ….. Re: Frail dog bathing. Carol, I will pick up a reversable hand winch and cable (the kind you winch a boat onto a trailer with) so that ONE person can EASILY raise and lower the frail guys in the shower and bath them. I’ll need you to supply the dog-sling and I’ll do the rest. We will be on site Sunday, so I’ll discuss it with you then. It should not take 3 people people bath these guys, and I think they would feel more secure strapped into a harness.

  • Bunny Horne says

    Carol, assuming Brent’s system meets with your approval I will pay for the mechanism out of some rug hooking projects I currently have on the go.

  • roff says

    Very nicely put Carol. He was an amazing personality … an amazing person. We all can learn from his acceptance of those around him.

    Through a mist of tears, I can see Percy finding joy in a different world, working as a Wal Mart greeter. He’ll be GREAT at it!

    Not soon forgotten, either. I look forward to his wind chime.

  • Wendy Scott says

    Hugs to you Carol during this sad time. Your blog today brings me to tears. Such a loss . May the thought of knowing that you gave Percy and Riley a loving home surrounded with love comfort you. Their faces showed happiness. Remember the joy you gave them.

  • Deb says

    I am so sorry for the loss of the bovine prince of SAINTS. There will never be another Percy, and I know he has left a giant hoofprint on the hearts of hundreds, maybe thousands of people. Percy was such a character, a beautiful, carefree soul, and his light shines on.

  • Allison says

    Dear Carol and all SAINTS Friends:

    I have never met Percy, but grief and I are well-acquainted. Percy was a big animal with an even bigger heart, and I think it is appropriate that the grief surrounding his death be extra hard on your heats. The teachings that I have received from my Elders have shown me that we all have a purpose here on Earth, and once we have fulfilled it, we move on. As sad as Percy’s passing is, we should rejoice that his suffering has ended and his wonderful spirit has moved on to another place to be reunited with those of animal family and friends who have already made the journey. He was a great teacher — and will not be forgotten. I know he taught me that cows have feelings just like all of us and are not just “dumb animals.”Maybe creating an illustrated storybook about him would be a wonderful tribute! (Just a suggestion.)

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