mums the word

mumford is here..i basically just tossed him into a cage in my bedroom to initially chill out. he is a grade 5 cardiac cripple so i want him safe in a small space while he figures us out so he doesn't have a heart attack while freaking out.

seems like a very nice dog..hopefully he settles in well.

i should have all of the laundry caught up by the time the staff get in. just one more big quilt to toss in, i am just not quite sure the dryer is still working.
i would have been fully caught up last night except i went out for dinner. my daughter and son in law did a grandparents dinner with ethan so i was gone for a couple of hours. he is so cute and growing so fast!
big thx to michelle and christine for doing the bedtime settling without me!

snoopy is getting up and down off the bed on his own which is good. i think this means his bloodwork is improving. but while he is drinking, he is not eating. i think this means he is nauseated from the toxins building up because of his underlying poor kidney function. i think there will not be any miracle return to feeling well for a while for him. i think it is time to accept the reality and plan for his peaceful passing. i will talk to the clinic today.

al is getting more frail every day. yesterday morning i thought i would be booking his euth. appointment today too. but then i went down for a walk to the bottom field and there was al rolling, then playing with his ball, giving fletch shit and then cheerfully chasing the dogs. it only lasted for a few moments before he went back up to bed but he has some pretty good joy left in him yet. i will maybe revisit this later in the week depending on how al is feeling.

i do believe that al, snoopy, halo and black buddy are all facing their end of life very soon. it is stressful for me to be watching for when that moment of ending finally occurs to them too.

on saturday, black buddy so wanted to go out for the run. he is so weak and frail that i did not want him to go. however..i might not always trust my own ability to know what is best but i do trust the dogs ability to know what they want. so out black buddy came for the walk. he did get bowled over once when that idiot puppy ran into him, but he was ok and got up with some help. buddy really did enjoy that walk around the pond. he was pretty tired by the time he came back up the hill and he went back to the mp building willingly, happy he got to be out and about with us all for a bit.

and halo..dear halo. she is not done yet giving that unruly puppy shit nor in guarding the food bowls. she still believes she has a job and purpose here...puppy/food bowl moniter extraordinaire.

so hard to be thinking of euth'ing dogs who still smile, who still laugh, whose tails still wag. but they are only able to do these things because of the support and the good pain control meds that they get.
it is hard to be living with end of life animals whose will to live and attachment to life is so strong. every day could be THE day...or maybe not.

our job is to be ready..for play, for cuddles, for treats and for walks and our job is also to be ready to help them to pass gently as soon as they want.

i am so thankful that they do not read the blog. they haven't a clue where my head is at on any given day as i watch them so close.
they only know what they know...life is good now, at this moment.... and tomorrow is not their problem.