Rescue Journal

liam

Carol  ·  Oct. 1, 2013

in between clients, I was thinking about him today. I was thinking what a tangled up web of convoluted circumstance became his actual death.

liam was born to die. he was born a male and was destined for the slaughter house before he reached 12 months of life. he ended up at the auction and was bought by a person who wasn't willing to invest very much in keeping him alive until that time. he was pretty much just left on his own to try to survive. his purpose was to fatten up on his own without much support so his price per pound would make his original purchase worthwhile.

when he grew too weak to rise anymore, he was left laying wet and cold out in the field for 2 full days until the spca was called. they seized him for critical distress and brought him here to give him a chance.

and he had a chance, it could have gone either way. we knew when he got here he might or might not make it and he didn't.

and I wonder about this sweet little sheep who fulfilled his pre-determined at birth destiny and died.

he certainly never had a good life, he was too sick when he got here to really feel that he had found a kind life, I had to keep poking him with needles to keep him comfortable and give him a chance...so if his life was still hard, even after his rescue...how could he ever have hope for a better life?

sheep are not like dogs..most dogs have at least experienced some distant memory of human kindness, even if it is only when they are cute in the first few weeks of life. but sheep? when do humans ever go out of their way to be kind to a commodity?

I think liam gave up on this world of hopelessness, I think his experience was, that life was just too hard. when brought to the very edge of it...why would he fight to hang on?

it looked to me like liam passed comfortably in his sleep, he was well positioned, his bed was dry and clean, he had his pain meds on board. he was in the very same position I propped and supported him in. I could see that he had a little more to drink because his once full water bowl was half empty. his little chin rested comfortably on his handful of hay and a few dandoline leaves. I believe, he closed his eyes and went to sleep peacefully.

I believe that when the end of life door opened, he slipped thru quietly and gently.

and I do not blame him at all.

I wish Liam could have found the same happy fairy tale beginning that we so wanted him to have. but I think liam chose the only path that at this point in his life, he could understand... a good death that was kinder and more gentle than life.

rest in peace liam, sweet little sheep.

I think I now understand why you decided not to fight for life.

Comments

Marta

OH no Liam!!!!!!!!!!!!! this breaks my heart..

Poor Liam It also breaks my heart that he has suffered so much in his short life and then by the time he finally got to Saits to be loved and cared for he was to ill .

I know Carol the vet the staff and volunteers did their very best to help him .. Thank you everyone..

Rest in Peace our handsome Liam

Brenda Mc

Oh; sidenote to this Sunday House volunteers - There's a mistake on the draft schedule - I WILL be at SAINTS this Sunday. I've let Nicole know.
Shit; still wiping my eyes for little Liam....

Bunny Horne

What a sad sad story - born to die. I had this fancy dream that wee Liam would become healthy and could happily bounce around the Saints pasture with our old sheep and that one of them would likely step to the plate and be his surrogate mom. I hope that this sweet babe is bouncing and playing happily in a field with other wee lambs. Ditto Erin - I'm not proud to be a human today either.

Carol

it is no great secret..i am a nurse and nurses...nurse.
I just choose to nurse many different living beings. I think all creatures deserve compassionate and respectful care...it is not just exclusive for humans, all deserve the same.

Susan H

Honest to God Carol, I don't know how you do it. I was pulling for little Liam. Hopeful every time I'd come on and read your blog. He was holding his own. Hope floated. I have never met Liam but he found a space in my heart. Now along with everyone else on here, I too am crying for a tiny innocent little lamb. Thank you so much for being so strong, for bring so selfless, that you put yourself out there to help these precious animals when others wouldn't. I know how much of a toll it is on you, but you never quit.

Much love to you..

Brenda Mc

I'm with you Erin and Lynne - I'm very sad tonight. I had not read the blog till now, and was so hoping for a different outcome for little Liam.

suzanne

I've been reading your blog for about 4 years now Carol. there have been moments when your words made me smile, and moments when they have brought me great sadness and lots of tears. little Liam's story has to be up in the top three for sadness. I am so very sorry that he came to you too late for you to be able to work your saints magic and save him.

erin

everything about this is sickeningly unfair. its not just the farmers fault, its all of ours fault. how many other liams are out there right now? so not proud to be human today.

lynne

the only consolation is that he did not die alone and afraid in that field. he passed away in a warm loving place, if only for a little while he felt love. damn those people for not caring enough about life and that little sheep. you did everything you could carol i am so sorry it was not enough, but as you said maybe it was his short time and he went peacefully. no excuse for the way he was treated.