remember when the other day..i said ethics were fluid?

Posted: November 1, 2013 at 7:43 am

I said when caught between a rock and a hard place and there are only two evil ways out, we all will choose to do evil rather than stand forever between a rock and a brick wall?
this would be one of those fluid ethic days.

today is one of those days when I consciously, knowingly, choose to do something utterly wrong.
I want to cry. I feel like puking. I want to pack up my bags, say fuck it to rescue and move far away.

today is the day, we cut chevy’s horns off.

this is how I felt when I killed fletcher and lance…I have absolutely no heavenly or earthly right to be doing this. these are not times when I am mistaken, don’t know, are innocently stupid and ignorant..these are times that I KNOW my actions are morally wrong and consciously choose to do them anyway.

it does not matter what my motivation is…to minimize risk, to keep the other animals safe and alive…to actually keep chevy alive and able to keep on living. because I know that if chevy on purpose or by accident seriously harms another creature with those foreward pointed horns..i will one day too late be killing him to protect everyone else.

there are many folks out there who would choose not to do this..they will take the risk of another animals injury or death, or they will confine him forever alone in a pen somewhere. they would choose to let the poor little cow live as god made him and not hurt him today. others may choose to just put him down, to end the life that he has barely started living because for today and tomorrow and for the next few days that follow… his death would be kinder.

you have to have such a big and kind heart to rescue. and you have to have a strong enough brain to tell that heart to shut the fuck up and just let me get thru being a coldhearted monster today.
we will knock chevy out, we will freeze his nerve endings, we will give him good pain control meds to get him thru the pain. we will do everything we can to minimize his suffering because of my terrible decision that I made for him today.

I hate rescue, I hate rescue, I hate doing horrible things to innocent animals. and I hate that I will keep doing bad things when I am caught between a rock and a hard place in rescue.

I am so very sorry chevy but I do this to keep you and everyone else safe and alive.

rescue is the road to hell that you KNOW you are walking down.

7 Comments on "remember when the other day..i said ethics were fluid?"

  • Penny says

    If Chevy could talk, and was given the choice between having his horns removed, going through some days of pain and discomfort, or being euthanized, we pretty much all know what he would choose. When this day is over, and he’s recovered, and you see him out in the barnyard enjoying life with his friends (animal & human)you will know you made the right choice, Carol. We all feel for him today, but for you particularly it must be brutal.

  • Mo says

    Ugh ! This too shall pass.

    I can remember how bad I felt for Percy after his surgery..yet I also remember feeling how worth it, it was after he was better & back to giving Cow licks to us. So that is how I am going to think about Chevy and what he must endure in order to learn to give Cow licks too.

    RIP Percy, we all still miss you so much

    I wonder if Chevy likes beer…

  • Bunny Horne says

    OMG MO – I had the same thoughts. We LOVE YOUR PERCY and wonder if Chevy likes beer.

  • another Doreen says

    So if it’s ethically wrong to take off his horns for the greater good, where does spay & neuturing fall?

    I think you made the right decision and hope it isn’t too painful for all of you. Sometimes amputations and surgeries are necessary so animals (and people) can continue to live – short term pain for long term gain!

  • Carol says

    ah A.D….such a great question re S/N?

    yes..ultimately, I do think surgically sterilizing animals is morally wrong in the big scheme of screwing around with nature.
    HOWEVER..humans being humans…we have created such a horrific problem of mass abuse, neglect and the outright massacre of millions of innocent homeless animals each and every year…it is one of the only answers left to us to try to stem the tide of how many we actually do have to murder.
    so sad.

  • another Doreen says

    Yes, it is sad. I’ve found another one of those dilemmas now too – should one spay an older female who never has been bred?

  • Marisa says

    Hey Carol,

    Posting way late on this but I think your comment on the necessity for spay/neuter is what should make you feel better about what you have to do for Chevy. ‘Cos there is also a horrific problem of abuse, neglect and outright massacre of millions (actually billions) of innocent animals bred for food. And, because of this institutionalized system of abuse, Chevy has ended up with you…desperately needing rescue. And, to keep him and everyone else safe, you have to take his horns.
    Not quite as direct a connection as spay/neuter but my point is that the problem (like that of the plight of homeless animals) is human-created and, unfortunately, compassionate humans are forced to commit uncompassionate acts in their quest to help the animal victims in both of these cases.

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