Rescue Journal

its so weird...

Carol  ·  Mar. 6, 2014

i really do love animal rescue...so why when someone i like and i know can most likely learn what is needed, tells me they want to start rescuing, does my heart drop, and i feel tears welling up and i want to tell them not to do it?

why am i happy (and truly relieved) that none of my kids will follow in my footsteps?

oh..i know...i love them, i want to protect them, i don't want them hurt. and rescue hurts....sometimes big time.

if rescue was simply see an animal in some kind of distress, help that animal find some kind of peace and happiness....fine. i would encourage everyone to do it as much as they can.

but rescue is so much more than that...it is dirty hard work, emotionally and mentally exhausting and sometimes so mind boggling petty and mean....it can suck your soul right out of your clay feet.

you can have your faith in mankind renewed a hundred times over and destroyed again in a blind of an eye. it is a roller coaster ride...it is a heart stopping, stomach dropping, i feel like i am going to puke..please, let me off, i don't want to do it again, terrifying and never ending ride.

but that is not what is so horrible about rescue..it is that at the end of the day, on good or bad or truly terrible days....you are always alone.

and people take offence to this because they are here spilling their guts to help as much as they can so how can i say i am alone?

well...it is because i take the hits, i take the punches. no one tries to sabatoge or hurt saints because they don't like brenda or mo. no one feels the need to engage in the character assassination of helga or penny. and no one needs to piss on the 20 years of passionate life long work of erin or shawn.

when the periodic storms start brewing... target has always been and will always be....me.

you would think when these storms are in full swing that i am this terrible, horrible person. i am actually a good person, even a kind person, a person with honor and ethics and some really commendable beliefs.

but occasionally storms still do come looking for me.

it is what it is and i have been around the block enough times that i actually do get it and i have learned to accept it...it is just part of the job. and the job must be done in sunshine, rain and even hurricanes.

but for those i love?...i want them to find a kinder and more comfortable job.
but not rescue...not this.

Comments

Bridget

mmm. although i have "rescued" animals, i can count the number i've done on one hand. each time, it's an experience that will stay with me forever.

it's nowhere near the same as the work you do, as SAINTs does. it's not an easy thing. it's not the same.

there does seem to be many facets of rescue. you've taken the most difficult, and which draws upon your skills the most: senior animals, all likely palliative. you do make exceptions, but she may not be drawn into the same rescues as you by type.

.... it's not going to be easy. i don't think it's supposed to be. don't you have to be ready to fight tooth and nail for things?
maybe they could be involved, but not perform it all themselves.
diving in isn't a great idea.

lynne

yes at the end of the day u r alone.these r ur animals your responsibility and no matter how much help you get we all go home. u take the brunt of all the bull shit the bitching etc but these animals r so lucky to have u. we all do the best we can but bottom line, it is your rescue and all the shit falls on u. i have made people who i thought were my friends not like me because i defend saints and personally i could give a rats ass if i piss them off. dont make the animals do without because you r on such a high horse that that is all that matters. i too have had my disagreements with carol but that does not invol ve how much i love the animals they end up being the ones that suffer. . that sucks for them. if this is rescue lets rescue and forget the politics.