hard times

Posted: May 29, 2014 at 7:16 am

yikes.

so much going on around here lately. big losses, none of which were on my current end of life worry list.
big changes with the remaining guys as we move them around to form a better mix of personalities and needs living in compatible groups.
pig spas and chicken pens under constructions, grass growing which is NOT going well…the house yards look horrible. i made them worse by fertilizing at too dry of a time and this is driving me insane.

and what oh what to do about hilda??? i am re-thinking this and i am coming to the conclusion that surgery may not be in her best interests. even if she survives the surgery, even if it is successful (GREAT BIG IF’S!) how is she going to cope with weeks of strict enforced cage rest to allow the surgery the very best chance to heal and ultimately hold this time around??
i really don’t think she is going to deal with it well at all.

i said more than a year ago i was not going to put her thru this..too great of a risk without enough of a chance of it all going well. and yet why am i going ahead with it now>? why the decision switch around?
well hilda was ok and in holding pattern last year…she wasn’t at that particular moment in risk of being euthanized, she wasn’t in pain..those were unhappy future events coming our way….refusing to do it then was easy to say.

unfortunately we have hit the hilda pain and discomfort wall….now i do it or i put her down.
what to do, what to do??? and where the hell is that freaking do the right thing crystal ball????

whatever. i promise, hilda..whatever we decide..it will be out of the greatest love and trying to do our very best for you.

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