the journey to honest communicating in rescue.

Posted: April 30, 2016 at 7:50 am

we have a good team here.
yesterday we had a staff meeting..staff meetings can get pretty heated because we are all so passionate about what we do. last week sheila and i got into an argument too.

but here is the thing….we don’t take it personally.
disagreements are never about who is a good person..who is a bad person….ALL of us are good people here.
but do we sometimes find ourselves in conflict? of course we do.
it is the nature of the beast in rescue.

open and honest conflict/disagreements are to be expected in rescue. and its healthy as we all speak our beliefs, as we share our truths, as we try to convey to others what we are thinking/feeling/wanting/needing in terms of doing our jobs for the animals. it is respectful to each other to be transparent in all we think/feel/and do.

it is the underground shit that will always be the real enemy in rescue..the gossip, behind the back kind of crap, whispered in corners but never brought to the forefront where disagreements and conflicts stand a chance at resolution.

i know a lot of times people are put off by my bluntness. and many times when folks come to me nervously with a problem..the first thing i say is..just fucking say it.

this is my philosophy…say it, own it, seek a resolution…and then put the freaking thing behind you so you can move on without a bunch of old extra baggage dragging around behind you.

i learned fairly early in life..no one can read my mind. my mind is a closed locked off vault impermeable to mind-readers.

so i say it. and i respect people enough to know A. they deserve to know the whole freaking story, not just what they can correctly or incorrectly guess. and B. that most people are smart and strong enough to take it at face value and not turn it into some kind of personal attack. and C. that most people actually prefer to know what i am thinking so they know what they are up against.

you cannot find resolution in conflicts if one or both parties hides their thought cards up their sleeves to pull out when others are not looking.

it just doesn’t work.

so why do we not just say what we are thinking and feeling when the going gets tough?

it is because we are afraid others won’t like us if we are honest.

let me tell you something about rescue…

lots of times others will not like you.
it is what it is so get over it.

to me the more important question is…will others TRUST you?
i guess that depends on how honest you are willing to be.

honesty is not just about not stealing..it is about not hiding or pretending too.

it is about believing enough in yourself that you are not afraid to share who you really are and say what you need to say.

sometimes i am right, sometimes i am wrong. i prefer to always be right but i accept that i won’t.

but i refuse to pretend to be someone i am not.

we have a good team here because we are learning that caring for these animals means sometimes we have to take personal risks.
we have to sometimes say the hard stuff, hear the hard things, do the hard work to ensure we together do in fact work as an honest and effective team.

the animals deserve this.

yesterday i bought the staff chocolate cake..today i want to say thank you to each and every one for not only doing a great job but for be willing to take this journey in learning to speak truthfully with me.
our truth may not always be the only truth, nor will it always be the right truth…but it may be the only and flawed truth we have until we hear someone else’s truth and attempt to understand.

understanding is the bridge that eventually leads to positive resolution.

we are building a pretty damn good bridge here for our animals and ourselves and for that i thank you (and will bring more chocolate cake sometimes too!)

1 Comment on "the journey to honest communicating in rescue."

  • Mark says

    Good post Carol. I am the same I tell people how it is and not what I think they want to hear, I know a lot of people don’t like me for that reason. I hate people who tell me what they think I want to hear, because really they are lying. Lying by deception (telling a falsehood) or lying by omission ( not telling the whole story), whichever way it’s still lying (politicians please take note).

    If you can’t be honest especially in rescue then shut up and say nothing. Tell the truth and others will be more willing to help you solve problems, more heads are better than 1

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