love makes our world go round

Posted: May 18, 2016 at 8:03 pm

i got a bit weepy a few times today..sometimes when i was driving between clients, sometimes when someone did something incredibly kind.
like…
when anne said she brought pink flowers and a picture of ellie and placed it at the door of her pen.
or…
when FIP called and asked if we wanted a private or communal cremation and i regretfully said communal because we just can’t afford $850 to privately cremate our beloved 800 pound pig. when i went in to pay them, they charged us for a communal at $450 but gave ellie a fully private cremation instead.
i am glad we can spread ellie’s ashes here…this was her home.

i feel weepy again tonight, the baby lambs are leaving for their new home with one of our staff. i am weepy not because they are going, but mah is not, she is staying here. i had promised the family would stay together, but mah needs that udder amputated and it is a massive surgery…she can’t heal with her rambuctious babies here. there is no point in separating them and trying to put them back together…after her 8-10 week recovery, they won’t remember each other, might as well blend her in with our sheep. i love mah..i think she is amazing so i am not unhappy she is staying here. i just feel bad tonight because the babies are almost grown and leaving their mom and she still has a difficult surgery ahead of her.

the staff rescued a goat today up in the bush…she had been brutally attacked by a dog. we had the vets out, it looks like she will asurvive. we found her family and they are very attached to her. she is spending the night here to let her pain meds work and then will be going home tomorrow.

i met with the artificial lawn fellow tonight…it was a great idea but we can forget it..over 8 grand just to do the 2 small front yard areas. it looks like the grass will continue to drive me insane but with the loss of ellie, it is such a minor thing.

ellie was so lucky, she is so greatly loved by so many and her loss has broken many hearts.

tonight i feel like the real shitty part of this is..despite a loss that has rocked our world….life just freaking goes on and on. it doesn’t stop for a second.

love you ellie, love you little, bo, peep and mah..and i am falling in love with the poor little damaged goat and will be sorry to see her leave.

love sucks.

4 Comments on "love makes our world go round"

  • Anne Seward says

    Sadness … happiness … gratitude – a roller coast this rescue thing.

    I hope we get visiting rights to that sweet goat and get to see her healthy and happy with her soon-to-be-born babies. She went through so much.

    We missed Ellie in the barn today. This is one of my favourite pictures of her. She loved the sun.

  • Penny says

    Sweet Ellie – we were all lucky to know her. She had a charmed life at Saints. Her spirit will always be felt around the barnyard.

  • Lisa Wagner says

    I’m sorry to hear it was an especially trying day emotionally. I am sure I am not the only one in thanking you a million times for everything you do Carol. Sleep well.

  • Laura says

    Love overflows from Saints…..from the animals who call it home, to those that take it with them when new homes are found and from the many special souls whose love surrounds us after they pass…….also what a very caring gift from FIP. Carol maybe we should have Ellie rest in her hiding spot, I can still see her big grin saying OMG you 2 suck at this game.

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