death is not the monster…

Posted: July 23, 2016 at 6:36 am

sometimes life is.

i saw a photo of decca from early june, she looked almost fat.
seven weeks later, 4 days of intensive treatment and $2500.00 after we met her, she is on a bed in my kitchen, wrapped in a fleece with squirt snuggled against her, frail and dead.

she died a peaceful and comfortable death.

she had a brief rally when she was discharged from emergency, that first 24 hours looked like she might stand a chance. but yesterday as the day progressesed, she became quieter, ate and drank less.
renee called me at work at the end of the day and said that while she appeared comfortable, she seemed distant and far away. she offerred to stay with her until i got home..i said if decca was comfortable, she didn’t need to stay late. renee elected to stay. i said if she needed to be put down, i would take her back to emergency during the night. and just to be safe, i called and made an appointment with our vet clinic for this morning to cover all bases.

decca remained peaceful and comfortable during the night. both squirt and charlie laid with her. she woke up each time i checked her but it was becoming clear that decca was not going to get better. she was on the final journey to somewhere else.

this morning at 6 am i found she had already slipped away….still on her her bed, wrapped in her fleece with squirt by her side. she hadn’t moved much at all, just stretched out on her side as her life slipped away.

and part of me asks..decca, was our attempt important to you? was dying here in my kitchen better than dying shivering in fear and illness in that closet? was it better than dying in a clinic with all of the most up to date expertise? were the not quite 3 days here in my kitchen worth the journey you made?

but decca can’t answer me because she has passed away.

rest in peace decca, whatever hardship life gave you, has too gone away.

it only took a moment for all of us to love you, my hope is that love and caring made your passing easier.

thank you to everyone who tried to help decca, it didn’t work out the way we had hoped for,
she didn’t get to live that second chance.

8 Comments on "death is not the monster…"

  • jamie says

    😢😢💔

  • Penny says

    I read that with tears running down my face. I didn’t even meet Decca but her story touched me. So many people tried to help her at the end, and I’m quite sure being snuggled in a fleece, with a buddy by her side, and feeling love around her, made her last days happy. I so wish she could have spent more time at Saints. Rest peacefully, little one.

  • shelagh f says

    oh my, that is a sad way to start the day. Poor Decca, lots
    of changes in the last few days of your life. I never would have
    thought your time would have been so short

  • AnnC says

    I’ll echo Penny’s comments, how very sad and thank you Carol for everything you did for her, sweet dreams Decca.

  • Nancy says

    Such a sweet wee face, I cried too when I read her story. She was surrounded by caring, love and warmth, and it sounds like she found peace. And you gave her dignity. Thank you for caring for them all.

  • Lenore Henry says

    I am so sorry Carol – I only wish she could have had more time at Saints – rest in peace now sweet soul.

  • Mary Kaminski says

    For at least a little while, Decca felt loved and safe & with friends. While you were unable to postpone the inevitable, that is something. Godspeed Decca, run healthy & free.

  • Lynne arnason says

    She died being loved that’s all you could do

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