crappy morning

Posted: January 14, 2008 at 8:27 am

i woke up with a headache, a backache plus my ankle is sore…(exactly one year ago today and i guess it wanted to remind me)
….and it is pissing down rain.

negative frame of mind here….do you know that there are few real friendships in rescue. there are within the groups themselves but not between different groups. do you know why? too much competition,…too much the grass is greener on the other side… too much lone ranger….we do things our way cuz we like our way best and we think others should like our way too.

neither makes a very good base for friendships amongst different rescuers. not a lot of respect happening there, just potential for conflict. it is too bad because i would like to have friendships with other rescuers but mostly we are all too busy to get to really know each other and mostly we don’t want to anyway cuz it might get used against us somewhere down the road. forgiveness and to each their own are not big words in the rescue vocabulary.

i have a couple of friendships left outside of rescue but they will probably fall to the way side too…you cannot keep friendships that you don’t invest in and i don’t have much time for investing anymore.

it is an odd sort of life where mostly what you invest just takes away more from you. but then what are you going to do? balance is good but try to maintain it when animals are about to get nuked. diversity is good too (which is why i work outside of rescue) but priorities are always in conflict and it is hard working two jobs.

friends and family become another conflict of interest and it is hard to balance those out…but it is mostly tiredness that gets in your way and not enough hours in every day to keep those scales well balanced. so you just do the best that you can.

sometimes i wonder if i had it all to over, would i do it all over again? probably…i think….but i am not exactly sure, maybe not if i knew then what i knew now.

do you think this is why some people believe in reincarnation…so we can try it again to get it all right?

today i feel crappy, so i am back to worrying about what happens if one day i crap out and die…it is a big worry.

4 Comments on "crappy morning"

  • Hey a nap in the afternoon now that sounds like a vacation to me. Can your guests nap in the multi purpose room. Gee I am coming over to vacation at your house. Hope it’s going to be sooner then later Stan

  • Heidi says

    Traiter, i mean trevor is doing well despite me still being laid up. He has pledged alliance to my mother as she is now dog feeder and walker. The vet called me back and said to put trev back on the ivamectin as dogs usually seizure first then go blind. And the blindness is temp. Since trev has not seizured and he is not blind (he is different on the meds and does not seem to see as well) I started him on the meds. Not sure when I’ll be out. Still can’t weight bear on the left leg. My mothers neighbor goes to dr. fry and likes him. He is older and seems kind. Going for a cat scan soon. Give Dex a big hug and kiss for me. Cheers

  • Carol says

    hope you are feeling better soon and i glad trev won’t go blind…can you imagine a three legged blind dog suffering from chronic hair loss?…sadly heidi…it actually sounds like your kind of dog!

  • Heidi says

    your’e right that does sound like my kind of dog. GL with your floors.

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