the difference between dogs and humans.

some of the people who dislike me the most are the people who used to love me best... it is because i didn't give them what they wanted or what they needed or maybe i really did.

the same is true for phoebe, she is utterly frustrated with me right now. i have parked myself between her and her spiralling needing and it is driving her nutz. the interesting thing about phoebe is when she is not in the midst of her needing frenzy, she is not so mad at me. she pops up on my lap for a cuddle, she treats me to the phoebe high speed kissing like she did last night. phoebe is one of the few dogs i know who can actually hold on to a grudge. but even she can't maintain it too long because by species she is built to live in today, not yesterday or tomorrow. it makes it a bit easier to deal with her because every day is a brand new day.

the bedtime routine has changed alot recently. with general albert spice no longer guarding the gates, maudie moves in to the side of my bed, lexie to the foot, jewel takes the bed by the dresser and iky takes the bed in the doorway. tyra moved out to the kitchen, it is empty in there at night now and she appreciates the extra space.

squirt waits patiently for his lift up onto the bed. once there it is his personal responsibility to welcome and greet the others as they arrive. up goes pugsy to get her hello and goodnight kiss from a happy little squirt , up pops cuddles to get the same. clyde is a bit of an issue as he waits patiently for his turn. ever since his vet trip he is tense when i go to lift him. sometimes he snaps at me and i have to wait for him to remember that he is the one who wants up. sometimes he remembers and sometimes he doesn't and those times he is upset cuz he gets left on the floor. once he is up there tho, he is just where he wants to be. he soothes himself to sleep by licking my juglar vein. luckily because of the drugs he takes, it doesn't take long for him to drift off. and then he is like a dead dog, i can shove him over, flip him around without his caring as long as he is still touching me. once in a awhile he starts with this fierce snarling while his nose is buried in my neck...he does this in his sleep sometimes and it generally makes me nervous. i have to wait for him to finish and slip back into that dead to the world place before i shove him out of there or i know he will flip out in my face.

living with dogs is like living with people. you need to understand how their brains work (or in phoebe's or clyde's case, how they don't) the difference is that a dog is how it is, there is no pretense, no fairy tale, it is what it is,.... but people are not. we tell ourselves stories, we reconstruct our stories so we get the hero's role...like my friend who told me when she got rid of her dog that she really believed she came into that dog's life for a reason. she has convinced herself that she actually did something great for a dog that she just sent out the door.

i am so much better with animals. they don't lie to me and i don't lie to them. we just deal with what we have to deal with and then move on from there. phoebe and clyde don't reconstruct their biting to make themselves into hero's or victims...they just look at me and say, "i gave you fair warning...i told you not to do that and you did, so who's fault is it you got bit?"

that is the ultimate honesty, that is the place you can begin. and i don't fault them for that either, i am just more cautious about how and where i place my hands and what i ask of them when they are close to their edge.

dogs are waaaay easier than people...this is why i rescue animals and not my own species.