Rescue Journal

questions

Carol · Jun. 1, 2008

i wanted to say that is ok for folks to ask questions and even disagree (in a respectful, positive manner). i don't feel attacked when heidi asks why phoebe and carly are different than clyde or even when she says she feels upset. we all have different opinions, different life experiences, and different perspectives. asking questions, honestly stating how you are feeling and exchanging different opinions is a way to communicate towards understanding.
what i do object to is using questions, or differing opinions/perspectives as weapons to hurt someone else...esp. me. that pretty much pisses me off and then i get mad.

so how do you know the difference between communicating to reach understanding or using communication as a weapon to score points? i guess the only true way is to look at what you hope to gain from it, then it becomes pretty clear. we have to look at our motives, are they about finding greater understanding or are they about personal gain...like power....appearing smarter/better than others or even about self image, "look everyone, see what i do.... i fight for RIGHT in animal rescue."..well gee, good for me.
if someone wants to make me look stupid by proving themselves so much smarter than me by asking a pointed question with a whole load of intentions hidden inside of the asking...i have to ask then...what is the purpose? why do you look smart if i am proved stupid? can't you be smart without me?
some times others are protective of me. they have seen and felt the hidden questioning arrows aimed for the heart of me. but not all questions are intended to wound and i don't mind answering the ones that are asked out of genuine wanting to understand something. so please feel free to ask, even if you might not agree. i will try to tell you why i did or am doing something so at least you can try to see what i see.

Comments

Carol

thx eva...simon is good tonight.
for everyone else...simon is the last of the domestic, feral rabbits born on this property that we finally captured a few weeks ago. he had his neuter on friday and these past few days have been worrisome as we waited to see how he would fare following such a truamatic surgery for a little wild bunny. so far so good, another day or so and we can quit worrying.
you better have not jinxed us eva by making me say he is good before we are fully out of the woods!

Eva Stock

That is something that is so cool in our friendship Carol and that is the fact that you and I have disageed on several occasions but it has not changeds our positions at Saints or our outlook in regard to the important issues that we discuss. And it is always concerning the animals and the decisions have to be yours as you are and live Saints. I feel a part of Saints and my heart is always in it. And I hope that at all times I help to make things nicer and better for the Saints and the Saint humans. Thinking of Simon, was planning to be back this pm but was unable. Will be there in the am. Please call my cell if you need to at ant time. Eva

Carol

most times you just have to know the person who is asking...history ofttimes repeats itself. if you don't know them, sometimes you have to trust in sincerity. you will eventually find out if you trusted too easily.
that is my plan anyway.

Lindsay

So subtle; so profound. We won't find a formula for this. Carol will have to look deep inside each question each time to discern whether the question is sincere or has an agenda.

Deb

There are innocent "questions" and there are pointed queries wherein the person asking really doesn't require or even want a response. That's where I see you being expected to explain your methodology, your decision making process, the very manner in which you administer your Sanctuary.
It is one thing to enlighten people who are truly asking straightforward questions, or even people who want to question a decision, but you should not be required to respond to anyone who feels s(he) has the right to challenge the way in which you manage SAINTS.
I am one of those people who are protective of you. I know what the reality of life, and death, at SAINTS entails. I know that you make the best decisions you can in every given situation. I know that sometimes your heart bleeds because of what you are forced to do. I know that you occasionally make mistakes, and that you berate yourself and treat yourself much more harshly than you would anyone else. I know that you are SAINTS, mind, body and soul. I know that there is nobody else in the world quite like you. I know that there are small, petty, angry and pathetic people in the world who think they can rise in stature by bringing you down. It won't work. You are who you are and nothing will change that. People have tried, people have failed.

Chris T

Are you sure you want to open questions up again Carol? You know what happened the last time. Do you have room for another t-shirt?