i can't remember when i have ever returned to work from my vacation so utterly exhausted mentally, physically and emotionally too.
it doesn't feel right here without my baggy buddha.
sparky had another stroke..not as bad as the last one but still not a small one either.
jeanette got heat stroke today...cooling her off was difficult. she has had several accupuncture treatments today, been lifted to her feet and is still toddering around after almost 3 hours.
we had a few different sets of visitors, by late afternoon i was completely done in...my day starts at 6 am and by the time we finished with jeanette it was 13 hours later.... i just can't function that long anymore.
bath..at least one load of my personal laundry because i have no clean clothes to return to work tomorrow and then i am going to bed and screw everything else cuz this set of very stressful holidays have pretty much burnt me to a black dried out mess.
i wasn't upset by your comment heidi, i knew where it was coming from. i am still having a great deal of guilt over clyde but i think i figured it out....
morals and ethics and right and wrong are creations of our higher selves...ourselves who 99.9% of the time can afford to practice those things...but every once in awhile that 0.01% comes down to the basics of quality of life or survival....clyde, michael, cuddles, tugs, whoever...that's when you might make a choice that you know is wrong but you make it because it is the only thing left you can do.
so while i suffer the guilt for taking clyde's life, at least i now accept that we had reached the point that i had to...but i still miss him...clyde and wee hopeful bug, those two animals more than any others have forced me to define and accept who i am.
funny, i was thinking about you last night and was sorry that i hadn't heard from you. thx for posting again.