spritely

i cannot share with you the utter loss of today.....those who loved her here will feel their own sense of loss too. but i can tell you of how she spent her last day.

i fed and let out this morning. i wanted every second of normalacy with her. she with the horses and sheep went out into the sunshine of the upper field. the cows, carl and the goats stayed up in the riding ring where they could see what was happening. i sent ellie down below to the bottom pasture because i did not want her to witness what was to come, the 2 times she saw one of the animals sedated was too upsetting for her.

ellie spent the morning laying peacefully in the mud around the pond.

mo came early, so she and i walked the dogs, cleaned the barn and handed out apples to the horses. then nicole, zoe and meghann came and hung out at the barn with us all too. colleen, angelina, renee, and helga took good care of the animals in the house and the mp building.

when the vet arrived, we all placed ourselves near or far, to bear witness to the passing of the coppery light of saints.

my job was to place the halter on her lovely head and lead her to a soft place of grass. spritely was not interested in having a halter on, up went her tail and she trotted away. i followed, she eluded, the sun glinting off her coppery coat. hope soared, surely today might not be the day....she is so stunningly beautiful and look at her move.

i went and got more apples, and spritely came to me. i slipped her halter and lead rope on and led her over to the vet. he checked her foot, i was waiting for him to say... maybe, not today?

he said, it's time.

i felt my chest turn to cement, i had a physical pain in my heart. he gave her a mild sedation, took her lead rope from me, gave her the final injection and with my hand still touching the side of her face, she fell to the ground.

there she lay, with the sun gleaming off her coppery self.

i think all of us were sobbing. we all said good bye to her. then we stepped back and let the horses come in to acknowledge her death.

sparkles came in first, she looked quickly and then moved on past. gideon and lahanie, seemed oblivious. we then let in percy, he went straight to her. he sniffed and then he started licking her, over and over. first her leg, then her face, next her ear, then over and over along her flank. he stepped ever closer til he was straddling her legs to reach as much of her as he could. after some time had passed we lured him away and back into the riding ring with a bowl of grain.

then gideon came close. he looked, he circled behind her. he reached down and wuffled her with his nose and then he moved away. the sheep came closer, interested and then they too moved away.

when carsons came to take her body away, lahanie reacted. he started prancing and circling. percy started bawling, leaning his head over the gate. emily and joy watched thru the wire. gideon and sparkles moved closer and all three horses started to nicker, watching intently as her body was taken away.

the reality of her loss hit lahanie, he started trotting after the truck, calling out to her. the gate closed and he started circling around, calling and calling for her. percy was still crying, gideon and sparkles occasionally called out their distress for her too.

it has been almost 5 hours since spritely left us all here. the horses are settled, percy is ok. we humans took some dogs into the memorial garden and shared a sunny afternoon, some stories, beer and food.

i have hung her windchime. i have left her some coppery flowers on our table of stones.

i have this emptiness so deep inside me that i wonder if it will ever go.

and all i want to say to spritely is how very much she was loved.

you lit up our life here, you filled our hearts so full. you were our miracle horse who finally ran out of miracles.

rest in peace spritely, your life has touched us all.