Rescue Journal

ooops, sorry...wrong number...

Carol · Feb. 14, 2010

interestingly enough i have had 2 similar emails lately regarding dogs needing (?) to come to saints. both incontinents, both with pain issues, both with problems too big for their families to manage. and both with the very same heartfelt plea..."you are the answer to my prayer..."

and what did they pray for?

a place to send their animal where he/she will be well loved, well cared for, medically well managed and easily accessable for visiting anytime that they wish.

ooops, sorry you got the wrong number. this rescue is not about cleaning up the pee and poop from your dog, worrying about his/her happiness, every moment of the day, bankrupting ourselves to provide medical care so he/she feels well and you can enjoy an occasional visit because you love him/or her so much.

both dogs because of their untreated pain issues, i agreed to take..neither person has gotten back to me since i dropped the "no further contact" bombshell.

i actually don't have this rule just to be mean..i am not trying to hurt you or the dog. but the bottom line is...if this is your dog, then take very good care of him/or her...if this is our dog, then we will take very good care of him or her...but this cannot ever be...our dog...i do the work, i carry the burden and you get the feel warm and fuzzy and most times teary "i love you SO much" a few times a year.

that is not respectful or fair to either the dog or me. dogs do not like trying to live 2 lives at the same time...they don't visit the past very often because god made them smarter than that. whatever their life today is...be it wonderful or full of unrelieved pain (please give old dogs medication for painful joints, backs and hips on a regular, routine and committed basis!)...anyway...they live that life now, at this moment, the best that they can. and for me, while i can take on the burden of another animal's needs here and there...i am not able to fulfill human needs....why? because i don't rescue people...i rescue their pets.

i assume neither of these dogs are coming now since the family will not be allowed to tag along..and while i worry that the dogs are not being medically cared for...there are plenty of others here and now that i need to worry about more.

have i mentioned lately that i have been thinking about retirement and trying to figure out what that means to me?...i am thinking it means no more emails and phone calls saying god has told me to contact you because you will make everything ok for me.

not likely...god must have meant some other carol (one who is really nice but kind of stupid)....sorry, you got the really wrong number in that answer to your prayer.

Comments

Carol

and you are right mauro..i do see intentional and unintentional elder abuse and neglect in my job...very sad...and it is different than just not being able to cope anymore with their care.

we sometimes tell the families of our palliative clients that want so badly to let mom or dad die at home...that sometimes it does just get too hard, and by moving to hospice (or long term care) it returns the family back from the responsible almost nurse caregiver...back to the role of loving and supportive son or daughter that they used to have. sometimes people need permission to make that choice....it is hard to be THE responsible one 24/7 for who knows how long.

Mauro Salles

Just to clarify: comment #1 is about people who really don't care about their old parents and much less with their old pets. I was talking about cruelty and neglect. By coincidence, my mother has Alzheimer's too and probably will live in a facility. It's sad, but necessary and doesn't mean abandoning.

Carol

caring for human parents can be a real challenge...my dad died in an old folks home even tho i had a house at the time with a perfectly handicapped accessible suite and because i work in home care could easily have arranged for any home support that he needed...but he wanted to stay in kelowna near to his friends and my sister's family..he had no one in the lower mainland except me. his choice, that was ok...but it was hard for me not to be able to visit very often because i had my job, my family and a whole whack of animals depending on me here....i regret not spending more time with him in his last few years...but both of us were trapped by our own choices...his to stay in kelowna, me to take in old and sick animals.
life rarely is perfect..it would be nice but it is not.

Linda

Carol, you're doing an amazing job and I totally agree with you. But ... I do have a comment about the comparison in comment #1 about doing it to ones parents. I had my last parent who had alzheimers. I had to worry about him eating enough, peeing in the appropriate places not in closets, wandering away from home and burning down the house while trying to cook something at 2am cause he thought it was dinner time. I also had a full time job, a son to raise alone and my own chronic health problems. Putting him in a home was the right choice and not one I made lightly. It was done with love and respect for him and yes, I did visit twice a week and took him out for his favourite meal on Sundays. Parents and dogs do not live and die by the same rules.

Virginia

Not like we all have enough to worry about, people put that added guilt on you by not doing what's right for their animals. Then you sit and worry about these little creatures, knowing that they're probably not going to get the attention and care they need. Squeaky and Hymi were two of those animals. One of my favourite questions I leave with people like those in the post is: "Do you love them enough to let them go?"

Mauro Salles

If people do it to their parents, why not dogs? It´s a matter of basic logic, it's simple and easy: "Poo for you, kisses for me, and God bless you, Golden Angel!!!". What about killing people like that? LOL