Rescue Journal

so i am going to put you all on the spot and make you feel uncomfortable...

Carol  ·  May 2, 2010

and i do apologise for this.
but...

it occurs to me that i want to hear some of your stories...it doesn't have to be a pulitzer prize, the spelling, grammer, and punctuation can suck (look at who never uses capital letters!)
it can be just a couple of sentences or an entire essay, it can be about anything...rescue, your own personal pets, a favorite vacation or book or movie but something real and true from you..i just want to have a small peek at who i am writing to.( and this includes folks i already know too...tell me something i don't know about you)

can you give it a try?
be brave...write a little blog for me for the day after my birthday so i am not so lonely in my new computer chair...you can post it under the comments.

i am excited...so get cracking and write something so i can know you a little bit too....

Comments

Diamond Green

Hello viewers are you looking for a good spell caster to help you bring back your family / relationship? then search no further contact Lord Zakuza on (Lordzakuza7 @ gmail. com) and i promise you all your problems will be over.

Heather Marcotte

Hi Carole - I'm behind in my reading but thought I'd comment on this post anyway. I dropped off Yoshi who was really quite angelic when he was with us! However, who am I?

I know of you because of Chris and Deb, and I have two rescued doggies, and two rescued guinea pigs.

One doggy is Jesse, approx. 11-12 pitty mix and she is our amazing old lady. We have a 5 year old, special needs son who seemed to 'calm down' when Jesse entered the household (almost 3 years ago). She is from Vancouver Animal Control and was abandoned at a Starbucks in Kits, unfixed and had clearly had pups in the past. She now spends most of her time snoring at the end of the couch on my bathrobe.

Our other doggy is Duff, a shiba inu/boston terrier mix. He came from Dhana Metta and was surrended to them at 7 months 'because he bit too much.' We got him at 8.5 months and redirected that teething/mouthing issue within a week! He is little brother and best friends with our son! Those two wee bastards are always into something but look so innocent when I come on the scene!!! And, Chris and Deb are quite hopeful that I'll give him up to them LOL!!!

Then, there's the two piggy's...Tink and Rosie. Rosie has been passed around and mishandled too many times to ever trust a person, but Tink is well adjusted and loves people attention...and bossing Rosie around. They require regular separation or they'll kill each other!!! This is after being paired for almost 1 year...they are affectionately referred to as 'the bitches.'

I also have two kids...the special needs son, and my daughter who takes very good care of the doggies!

That's just a snippet of who I am but prob the most relevant to this forum.

I hope you had a good (and poop free) birthday!!!

Helga

Current personal pets number six: Sunny, Halfpint, Hardcase, Mooch, Al and the inimitable Millie aka Mimsy. Sunny & Halfpint are sisters - white DSH 9 yrs. old - with Sunny being grossly obese. Born at Buster Brown Care Group and never adopted. Because they are a couple of total freak-outs and their foster home had big dogs and all kinds of activity they basically lived under the living room couch. I knew their foster mom and having just lost a couple of my guys to assorted cancers said 'Lets try them at my place. Its quieter.' They are still a couple of nervous nellies but no more hiding under the furniture. Hardcase is my once commented about sprayer - DSH 14 yrs. old black and white with ears that look trimmed with pinking shears. Former wild stray trapped and neutered at the age of 9. Mooch - DSH ginger tom 2 yrs. old - came courtesy of Mo and Saints. Moochie moose turd Rocketman Roadrunner loves harrassing his elders and between moments of mad loonsies goes totally catatonic (no pun intended). Al.E.Cat - DSH ginger tom 10 yrs. old - totally laid back former neighbour's cat. They moved to 100 Mile House and were worried about coyotes getting him. And of course Ms. Millie - longhair calico of uncertain age and uncertain temper in regards to other felines. Hardcase and Al are allowed outdoors because of their long history in the neighbourhood. Sunny,Halfpint and Mooch have run of the house and kenneled in mini-deck. Millie Mimsy (on lap at moment) is confined to the computer room mostly but comes out under strict supervision.
Recently watched DVDs 'Julie & Julia' (loved it. In my teens I had copies of 'The Joy of Cooking', 'Mastering the Art of French Cooking' and the first English edition of 'The Larousse Gastronomique'), 'Bolt' (bit of a tearjerker), 'Alvin & The Chipmunks' (fun) and 'These Forgotten Voices' a NFB documentary about 15 mental patients taking part in a year long music program (very moving). 'Up' and 'Wall-E' were my favourites of the past couple of years' animations.

marie bellemare

How do we leave for work when one of the dog is not feeling good at all, I haven't been able to do it yet. I call work and say there is sickness in the family. They don't know it's one of the dogs, they would not understand. I know at Saints lots of the animals are not feeling good and life must go on... Do we ever get to the point where we tell ourselves, he's not in danger of dying, it's just blood diarrhe caused by a bacteria and the meds will kick in soon ? Do we get more confident in life and trust that animals are stronger than us humans ? I have to grow stronger... I am saying this just mostly to express that when I come on SAINTS' blog Carol and read, it always helps, it always inspires me so much there is no word, I learn so much about life and courage and this is priceless in my life, I often tell myself, what would Carol or one of the wonderful team member of SAINTS would do, and it contributes to me and my animals (I'm so little with 3 dogs only to care for) and I tell myself that I am so very blessed to know them... then I go back to my heart and stop worrying... Thank you all for being on my path... I had to add this comment this morning cause I woke up thinking about SAINTS (again), about the love and care and courage and patience and faith that lives at SAINTS.

Mo

I loved that post Sheena & it has made me think twice (perhaps even 3 X's ) about how I "look' at my guys and any time I am given or presented to see things in a different way, it always changes me. My Roxie (AussieXBC) is a going concern and I so want to understand her better,which most likely starts with me thinking differently.. so thanks

The Food Lady

I wrote a story about Tweedle Dumb recently, so rather than write a new one, I'll just link to it here. It seemed fitting :)

http://www.wootube.net/2010/02/ode-to-an-aging-dog/

Happy Birthday!

sheila

On Saturday I was having trouble with my right eye and I was having trouble focusing. I thought it was stress because I was in the middle of setting up for a fundraiser.
Sunday I decided to close my left eye and I realized I was half way blind in my right eye. Sunday night it was worse because now the blackness was over the whole eye. I went to emergency ... and then to a optamologist yesterday and thank god ... I am not going blind. The gel in the cavity of the eye is suppose to be clear but in a couple of spots my gel is cloudy and that is causing the problem. I should have normal vision in about a week. I would have told you that anyway Carol but I normally wouldn't have posted it on a blog. All day Sunday and most of Monday I couldn't read my computer... that was scary... And it doesn't have anything to do with animals except if I had gone blind in one eye then I would be crippled like Oliver and Benard.

Tannis

well a bit about myself, I have two high maintance dogs, both poms, one is a rescue that was given to me when she was seven years old, with really bad teeth, her name is ruby, my girl friend took her at first from a women she works with, the excuse for giving her up was ruby hated hard wood floors, and this women just did all her floors and ruby fell and hurt her leg, so she wouldn't do stairs after that, that had no carpet, and hates walking on any kind of a shiny floor, anyway she didn't work out with my girl friend either because she hates kids and was biting her grandchildren, so she knew i had a little pom named sassy, with alot of health issues, and she knows how much i spoiled her, and make sure all her medical needs are taken care of, ( she has liver shunt, so she siezures) its pretty much undercontrol now, she is now 8 yrs old) both poms are teacups, I had decided to get a small pom at the time because i was living in a small condo in new west, and i had done my research, and they are great condo dogs,but she also has tracual collapse, and a under active thyroid, she is on meds for the liver shunt for life, and on a special diet, I did buy her from a breeder, but decided from now on they would be rescues i take after her, just wanted my dream dog, I turned 40 and had to have her at the time, since i had no kids, but anyway ruby has now been with me for three years and doing well, had to get about seven of her teeth pulled, she was in pretty rough shape when i got her, skinny, hardly looked like a pom, but now she looks great, only took a couple of months of some tlc and some good food..... she still hates kids but i have none, and she is to small really to hurt anyone, but she goes after everything!! i really have to watch her,I have a cat to that is 13 yrs old, katie who i adopted from the spca....plan on getting another dog in a year or two, these two are enough for me right now, as i work to much, my husband would like a bigger dog, but he will have to wait, he met me as a package deal with the girls(ruby & sassy & katie the cat),and now we have molly the cat, chance's buddie.. will be comeing up there on thursday i guess, or friday to give you the money from the 50/50 draw, just let me know what time, i left a message with my phone number ...........

Jenn

Nicole ... can you please tell the baby spider story!! Its the bestest story ever ...

Kelly B

Hi Carol-

I've been a lurker on this site since I moved to Mission almost 2 years ago. Every now and then I've commented on one of your losses, and I hear second-hand about some of your adventures because my petsitter volunteers at SAINTS.

Animals have always been a part of my life. My mother taught my sister and I that animals were equals. She used to refer to the dog as our "sister". So, I was pretty much indoctrinated from birth.

I've had rats, hamsters, gerbils, guinea pigs, cats, dogs, and horses come and go from my life. All were teachers in some way or another.

Currently my husband and I are owned by bunnies, cats, a dog and 4 horses. I cannot imagine my life without any of them. In the past 11 months we've lost four of our dear furry friends, and it's been hard on us. Each of them were rescues, and although it was incredibly sad to lose them, I know they were there to share something with us, and then move on.

Rabbits and horses appear to be our greatest rescue passions. I have had rabbits (I don't say "owned" as I think they owned me)for the past 15 years. All were rescues. I had no idea what life was like for the average bought-on-impulse bunny until I started taking in those that were going to be dumped. I've gotten myself into trouble at times, speaking up in pet stores or telling off those who treat them as disposable pocket pets, but I feel someone has to speak for them. When I explain the amount of work and time that a rabbit needs, not to mention the spea/neuter and the potential lifespan, it's very rare to not have a surprised reaction. Currently we are also fostering three rabbits dumped at a barn; we are hoping to find them forever homes, but we know if that isn't possible, they won't be abandoned again.

Horses have been a part of me for a long time. I had a pony as a little girl, and then there was a long spell (about 30 years!) of being horseless. As an adult I acquired an ex-logging horse named Queenie; I later found out she'd been beaten by her previous owner. She was scared of everything. It was sad to see a big draft horse cowering in the corner of her stall, afraid I was going to hit her with a manure fork. Now that big draft horse thinks she's a dog, and would love to crawl in the car and come home. She is me in a horse's body; my equine soulmate. My other horses are also rescues, and I have made the commitment to them that they will never have to work again if they don't want to. They can just be horses.

I work with people, as do you, Carol. Some days I come home and think that people really aren't very nice. I work in Social Services, keeping kids safe from people who don't always treat them very well. There are times when I am tired of the human race and how it treats its most precious gifts, their children. Having animals restores me. No matter how lousy they've been treated, I find that with compassion, understanding, boundaries and love, the animals in my life have found themselves again. That resiliency restores me.

With affection-
Kelly

Alison

Happy Belated Birthday Carol
We haven't met but I really appreciate the honesty, humour, and stories that you share.
I was a kid that always wanted a dog and finally got one in my thirties from a shelter in the US where I had been volunteering. Volunteering at the shelter was an amazing experience - very well run, with staff that had time and capacity to care for each animal plus a great volunteer program. They ran obedience classes for the dogs that completely focused on positive training - for the volunteers and the canines! I am still amazed at how the instructor would face a group of people with no experience on training dogs combined with a mix of dogs (many of them very, very active adolescents) and turn that one hour into an amazing happy time for all.
When people say "I could never volunteer at a shelter, it would make me too sad" I don't get it. My time at that shelter was richly rewarded with "thank you"s from the animals and the shelter staff plus strong learning experiences for me.
The one time I did get sad - and extremely judgemental of people that I didn't even know - was the day I took a little senior poodle to the obedience class. She was maybe 14 and had a mouthful of terrible teeth - but she was up for anything. Part of the class involved going through agility obstacles, then running a little course (on leash with these guys). This little old poodle gamely went over or through everything! Jumps, hoops, a-frame, barrel - she did it! Such a brave little trooper. As I returned her to the kennel, the instructor said "poor Jenny, we are running blood tests but I don't think the shelter can cover the costs of getting her teeth fixed up, not for such an old dog". I checked the in-take chart for the poodle; I usually avoided this because I didn't want to judge people for bringing in their pets. Jenny was an owner surrender...the reason...moving...to Florida (What - they don't allow poodles in Florida??).
I didn't step up for Jenny - I was renting, had recently adopted a dog-agressive dog that I had to work hard to convince my landlord/roommate to accept, I was working more than full-time, planning to move back to Canada, and really not a poodle-person...I had my own excuses.
Jenny didn't make it to the adoption area of the shelter and I never saw her again. I didn't ask her final fate.
I don't know what I would do now if faced with the same decision, but I still carry that little poodle in my mind, and my heart.

Renee

Carol, I just phoned you and left a message, I can work tomorrow. I explained the details in the message. See you tomorrow :)

nicole

hmmm, well you've known me for over 4 years.
not sure what i can tell you that you may not know.
oh, i like to eat olive and mayo sandwiches. yes it's odd. that's the kind of concoctions one must come up with when you become a vegetarian at the age of 11 and you mother says she's not going to cook special meals for you. also i own all seasons of MASH. another odd thing. my pretend grandma used to love watching mash, so i started.
oh and i'm trying the whole vegan thing. not too strictly. stupid dairy calves and hens, i miss my chocolate and mayo (not together)! it's pretty funny because it's making me eat a whole lot healthier. almost all prepared food i used to eat had cheese in it, so i'm actually cooking with fresh veggies!
sometimes in yearning, i think what would my life be like without saints in it. as i'm sure you do aswell. for a brief moment i smile and think, wow it would be nice to not have more loads of dog laundry than my own, or not needing a mop and bucket out all the time. and the hair. and to not have to spend $260/month on dog/cat food. think of what i could spend my money on if i didn't have 4 dogs and 2 cats to keep.

then i get worried and think what if i never went to saints with meghann to pick up that xpen lid 4 years ago. what if saints wasn't in my life. it would be completely different. in a very bad way. I would never have gone to tech school when i did as i only heard about the new program because i was out at saints 2 weeks before the application deadline and heard a visitor talking about it. which also means i wouldn't have my amazing job at emerg right now. my parents would never have been able to steal sandy from me and spoil her rotten and have her as a distraction from their empty nest, and i would never have had honey, oz, sandy, wes, thorny, milly, carley, shrek, fi, clara, harvey or emme in my life. crazy to think.
i couldn't imagine what kind of person i would be. (that sounds so cheesy)
happy birthday!

Willie Croissant

I live and work in Portland, OR. I love creatures - dogs, cats, goats, bears, even spiders. . .doesn't matter, I just love them all! People too, although sometimes that's a bit harder.
My husband was badly injured some years ago and died eight years later. So now, it's just me and a few cats (my sweet old sheltie died last year and even though I want another dog I can't afford one right now).
I often read your blog because your stories are so important and positive (even when they are heartbreaking). By reading your blog, SAINTS has become a living, 'real' place. You, the critters and all that make SAINTS matter to me.
Happy Birthday, Happy Year!
Willie C.

Colleen

Thanks to Brenda, Lynne and the rest of the volunteers for showing me the "house" ropes today. Even though the new cat was royally pissed at me for moving his bed, and showed his displeasure by clawing my hand, I still really enjoyed my morning :)

A few things about me? Here we go:

-We just moved to the Fraser Valley from Alberta. I followed a boy...

-I sang opera for 16 years. Don't ask me to sing for you though, because I won't. Unlike Jenn :), I'm pretty shy about it. (Maybe if only the dogs are listening)

-When I was little my wishlist for birthdays, Christmas, Valentine's Day, Easter, etc. only ever contained one item - a dog. My parents tried giving me every kind of crappy mechanical dog on the toy market. In Grade 4, they gave me the choice - stay in swim club, or get a dog. I don't think I've swum a lap since.

-I'm a crier...consider yourselves warned. I cry when I'm scared, mad, sad, happy, shocked...you name it. Just yesterday, my boyfriend stood quietly in the doorway of our office as I cried my eyes out watching the Rosebud video.

-I'm new to rescue. It started 2 years ago when we adopted Oliver, our little mutt. We became a regular foster home for a rescue in our city. About 15 dogs came through our door last year and it drove us nuts. The pooping and peeing, biting and crying all night - none of it is glamorous. But the minute their little trust switch flipped, it was instantly worthwhile. I would take any one of them back in a heartbeat. Their ability to love and forgive should be a lesson to us all.

-Carol, your realism truly amazes me. I appreciate you every time I read this blog. Judging by the comments above me, your reach and influence is remarkable. You've helped an incredible number of individuals - two legged and four. Happy Birthday!

Kimberly St. Louis

I started reading your blog two years ago. Your blog and others have opened my eyes to the world of rescuethe good, the bad and the ugly. Thankfully there seems to be more good than bad/ugly. Your words make me laugh, cry and rage and I keep coming back. Im not entirely sure where I stand on some of the issues but know that as long as someone is taking care of an animal in need and meeting its needs then all is well. You truly are a hero and I dont know where you find your strength. My husband and I made a commitment years ago to only bring rescued dogs and cats into our home. We have two seniors, a 16yr old small cat and a 15yr old jack Russell. We also have a 3 1/2yr old pound puppy and a 2yr old cat that were both rescues. They enrich our lives and make us better people with their unconditional love and acceptance. Happy belated birthdayfrom someone who reads but has never commented beforeyou and your family make me have hope

Vi Morse

Hi Carol,
Happy Belated Birthday. I and our A.L.F.A.S. group haven't forgotten about you. We are very busy trying to get the, age of the dinosaur, laws changed for the betterment of animals.
We are also trying to find the abused and neglected animals and try and get them a better home with the support of the SPCA.
Some of us will be out to see you again this summer. Keep up the good work and bless you for doing this care for the oldtimers. As ever, Vi

Marie Bellemare

Happy belated birthday Carol !!!
I am Marie from Montreal, Quebec. I live with two wonderful dogs (no 3 for the last 8 days). There is Miss Molly, rescued 4 1/2 years ago after living in a cage for 2+ years and having bad treatments, she is a true angel, she now is between 9 and 10 years young - mix german shepherd/border colley/golden and maybe more ! Then, there is Tao (pekingnese/cavalier king), adopted 8 months ago, he's 5 and is Miss Molly's dog. The reason I took him at such a young age is cause 2 years ago I adopted a retired guide dog, he was over 10 and was going to be put down cause he was not "useful" anymore... grrr and so I took him... Miss Molly helped him so much learning what being a real dog is, he went from not being able to walk anymore to running, he had so much fun being a real dog, being allowed to just be... we had a great love story together Miss Molly, Solfy and I. He was with us for 13 months and 2 days - after that, his organs started to stop gradually, I helped him pass the day the vet said that the pain killer did not help anymore and he was going to die that day... it felt like a whole life with him, we had intense moments - I know you know what I mean... Miss Molly was so affected after he passed that I decided to get her little king kong Tao. Last Saturday, I was called for a 13 year old husky/shepherd mix, they said he was senile and had only a few weeks. I went to meet him. This dog was in a shed with 15 other dogs and about 100 cats for the last 10 years, never going outside, no exercise, no contacts except for the lady who brought food once a day for a couple of hours. I took him. Well Carol, I am witnessing a miracle, like you witness with your wonderful animals... Oh yeah I changed his name from Mr. Pimps to Tashunka (native american meaning Great Dog) so Tashunka, after seeing the vet, after only 8 days of love and care, is doing great. He is not senile at all, doesn't see much, doesn't hear much, was full of intestine parasites, has no muscles tone at all in his back legs has anemia, but a good heart, good lungs, good liver, no diabetes, no kidney failure, this dog has a life in front of him... He is starting to get a little bit stronger with his legs, we walk many times/day short walks, he doesn't sh.t blood anymore, he knew his new name Tashunka after the first time I pronounced it - oh yeah, he actually is clean in the house ! how does he know that huh ?!!! Me and my pack are truly blessed and happy, everyday is a love story, yes there is worries and preoccupations and challenges, but we have the essential, living in the present with our hearts. I live in an appartment, maximum dogs is 2 but I cheat. My dream is Home of the Golden Years Dog Pack. We are small right now, but we do exist. It's me and my 3 dogs. When it's time for one of them to go, there will be another one and so on. This is what I do, besides reading your blog and learning a whole lot and laughing with you and crying with you and your wonderful team and the animals. Happy Birthday Carol, I love who you are lady... Think of you often... Thank you for you Carol. Marie, Miss Molly, Tao and Tashunka

Lory

I have a spider story that is a bit unusual. I went back to university when my daughter was a year old. We lived in residence for five years and weren't allowed to have a pet. My daughter really wanted a kitten which I promised we would have once I was finished with school. One day a spider ran across our living room and under the radiator. We named him Walter and every night would call out "Good night, Walter". I don't know how long Walter lived with us as he was a very low maintenance fellow but no spider has ever been killed in our house.

It is the animals I have known that have given me joy and laughter and hope.

Jane Stanley

Happy Belated Birthday, Carol.
You are one (very much respected) of the people I visit every day, one of a vast interconnected web of animal activists and rescuers and caregivers that I relate to in the world, through this magical instrument of communication, from my home in Toronto, Canada.
I stepped into this world through The Elephant Sanctuary in Tennessee, and the Elefanherd Chat Board of supporters. My work-stay in Singapore in 2005-6; and several visits to Elephant Nature Park in Chiang Mai, Thailand; led to my making connections with many more people with like-minded insistence on fairness and support and action for the creatures of the world who can not speak for themselves. Every day on Facebook we connect across the world in our stories and pictures and passions.doing whatever we can to change the world.
Personally, I am semi-retired (close enough to your age!), and have a five-year-old Singapore street-cat, who screamed at me from a busy roadside, on my second day in Singapore. At 5 weeks old she was abandoned and in danger of being taken in the major sweeps that Singapore does to keep its streets free of animals. She came to live with me from that point on, for 3 ½ months there, and then travelled home with me to Canada (a long ride for a wee little pussycat). In each of the airports on the way home, it was her HUGE voice that allowed me to find her, and she continues to use that voice any time she has to go in the carrier to visit the Vet. Otherwise, she is a sweet and gentle, loving and fun-seeking, beautiful and healthy, best furry-friend to me.
Thats about itI love reading your Blog, and have directed other people to do so too.
You have taught me much, and I hope that you will always find the joy, in what you do, over-ruling the sadness.

Marion

Hi Carol

Happy belated birthday and many more with your zoo and all your friends and fam. at SAINTS.. It was such a nice visit yesterday..you all are such an inspiration for all the work you all do for the animals..
Glad to be able to come by and get the tour of SAINTS.Thank you Laura for your time..you all rock..and I love your new computer chair.:)

erin

when i was 17 or 18 i went with my mom to have our family dog (a springer spaniel named patches) put down. it was definately his time, he was in alot of pain, his back end wouldnt move at all, nothing anyone could do, he was old. anyways when the vet came out to the car (we wanted to take him home and bury him after), it was all i could do to not punch him in the face and save my dog. i saw that needle coming and knew if i didnt do it today, id have to do it tomorrow. so it happened. the one and only time ive had to have an animal be put down. one of the most painful things ive ever had to do. i cant fathom how you do this as often as you do. i get it, i do, but i cant help you do it. i will never be the one who goes with you, i dont think i could even help you load them into the van. and i dont trust myself to not stop the vet. quite often, logic doesnt prevail in my life. your strength amazes me.

Mauro Salles

I am curious by nature and always try to understand what is behind the appearance of everything, especially when it comes to things obviously inconsistent, regardless of creed, skin color or country of origin. But for years I felt in my own skin as the "modern world" would have banned such research, and passed through deep bouts of depression and loneliness despite being surrounded by people. I'm 49 years old and nowadays can say I learned to laugh at almost everything, to cry when I feel like doing it and tell someone "Shut up or f*ck you! Your choice, not mine!" without wasting time thinking. Most important, I don't try to find complicated or sophisticated answers for anything. If there is one, better make it a joke.

I had an unusual and comic (?) experience, but very impressive to me for breach of "self-bias":
I was afraid of ghosts and darkness, could not understand why and wanted an answer. About 15 years ago, I was going to a little farm near Sao Paulo. I was bored and decided to leave the car to walk to the farm, which was about 500 meters away, but did not realize the size of the stupidity I was doing because the day was ending. Well, I got lost in the woods on a dark night (no moon), cold and rainy, could not stand because of the cold and was walking the trails through the night, not knowing where I was going. I was really pissed off, a wet smoker out of cigarettes and occasionally spoke loudly: "Hey! Is anyone there? May be dead or alive! Please, I'm lost!!!" I heard animal noises (I think) and the moment of terror came when I was next to a fence and two dogs, I think they where two dobermans, rushed towards me and started barking, "accompanying" me along the fence. The more I talked to them "Good boy" more they barked and I'm thinking "Shit! If there is a hole in that fence, I'm dead." Finally, in the morning I was rescued by a dog. Yes, a black lab/something mix found me, ran out and I followed him to a property, where a lady put me back in the world. FOUR CONCLUSIONS: (A) I did not even realize the darkness, as it gradually declined as I was losing, and my eyes have become accustomed (not so much). (B) Those dobermans taught me that I should fear the living, because they really can hurt me. (C) I keep for me the certainty that the third dog knew what he was doing. (D) If you really seeking an answer, sooner or later it will come, but you can not know how. Try to be prepared and attentive!

When I feel alone because I can not find an answer, one of the ways I use to get them is the research and reading on the subject. The links below illustrate texts that made sense for all the people I know and who seek answers. The texts are just examples and I do not consider myself a Buddhist. I recommend reading because I believe that many have already gone through everything we've been through and can help us, without "big magic". The greatest Masters that I know are the animals.

** Turn Your Thinking Upside Down **
http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=3087&Itemid=0

** Night of the Cockroach **
http://www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=3387&Itemid=0&limit=1&limitstart=0

Kim

Love your spidey story, Tammy! Jeez, it made me laugh!
a little story... well, Saints has been great for me. When my 16 yr. old dog, Kayla passed in Jan., I felt this awful tightness in my chest and I felt her absence immensely. I wanted to take the grief and do something positive with it. So, I went to Saints. This has helped to move through that sea of sadness and has brought moments of joy. I love all the animals, but have bonded with the mp animals and Frodo mostly because I see them on a daily basis.
Witnessing the dedication of the staff and volunteers at Saints has touched me deeply. It's like all these lovely souls- animal and people standing before "the Bridge" down there at Saints.

Linda Rich

Happy Belated Birthday Carol.
I am a daily reader of your blog. You have made me laugh many times and also cry with your stories. I cant really say I disagree with any of your comments on rescue. I am involved in a small rescue in Alberta and we also have the same ideas and also frustrations that you have. Many times you just want to give up but you know its only the animals that suffer in the end. Our president is a wonderful woman who goes beyond a volunteer. They should have a special name for someone who donates their time 24 hrs a day. She keeps us grounded and yes she does use a few of those f words that you also like to use. Its a hard job rescue and especially hard for the aged and sick animals. We also have a few old timers here but as long as they have a good quality of life free from pain they will have a home with us. I have always made a point to go and read the happy stories when some b.... really makes me mad and then I know yes we made a difference and its worth all the crap thats handed out by people. I am the proud companion to 5 rescue dogs and 8 cats. And yes they are all spayed/neutered and vaccinated. And my promise to them is they will never end up in a pound and never ever will they be traded in because there to old. You do a wonderful job and Im grateful to all rescues that show the forgotten someone cares. Continue to write your thoughts as you see fit and let people see the real side of rescue. Take care and continue on. If I ever come that way Im definitely stopping in.

Faith

Happy Birthday Carol! You know Cory and I and we still live at the old SAINTS site. Can you believe it's going on 5 years now? The issues of the old place continue to grow but it's so pretty here that we just keep fixing things as we go along. We sometimes feel like the boy plugging the hole in the dike with his finger. lol!

We have our minpin, Nibs, and 5 cats: Haida, T'ai, Ziggy, Cosmo, and Kramer. We trapped Cosmo and Kramer, who were about 4 months old and feral at the time, with a trap we borrowed from you. SAINTS reaches far beyond the stories written here on this blog. Without that trap, we may not have Cosmo and Kramer with us.

I went around the house yesterday and counted how many cat beds we have, ummm... 15, not including our actual bed that Nibs and 4 of the cats sleep in with us.

My favourite book is by Iyanla Vanzant called "One Day My Soul Just Opened Up." A friend gave it to me when I was going through a particularly tough time in my life. I've bought it 2 more times since.

Spiders creep me out too but I had what I call a "big bum" spider living outside my computer room window all last summer. I loved watching her and took some cool video of her spinning her webs. It was cool until she had HUNDREDS of babies and they took up refuge inside. Then I had to make like Arnold S. and terminate them. Poor babies. If another shows up this summer, I plan on moving her before she sets up house. :0)

dawn

Every once in awhile I forget Este is no longer with us and I see a laundry basket on the floor and have a moment of panic.

I miss True singing me a song everytime I come home.

I do not miss chasing Cruz down the street in my bathrob because she busted out again.

I was sad for Myles' never ending hunger, he was so gratefull for every piece of food he got.

Now I look upon the always sleeping body of my new old friend, glad she can now rest comfortably and I am forever thankfull for SAINTS.

Cheryl

We have no SAINTS but have such a huge respect for SAINTS and Carol..yes we have met a few times. Dave and Cheryl..Mo's good friends..we have 2 rescue dogs and a rescue kitty..we love our babies..we have had the old SAINTS type kiddos and have cried buckets at the loss of our heart babes...we also are now retired snowbirders and enjoying travellin around with our dogs and kitty to see the land...it is so heartbreaking to see the sad plight of pups and kitties in Mexico and the desert of USA..so our Mission is now going to be to try and make it a little bit better for whatever little puppers, cats, bunnies etc we may run across in our travels...meanwhile we will keep in contact with other rescues at home...we intend to try to vet and feed and help as we go along our travellin way...good luck to all at SAINTS...

Dee

Hey Carol. . . Belated Happy Birthday!
I'm the one who sent you the "GodandDog" Video (by Wendy Francisco). It's on internet for anyone interested. Anyway, I also talked about by old dog Auggie, a huge lab/shephardX that I had since he was 6 weeks old (rescued from a farm in Langley) who died in my arms in Oct. 2005, just shy of his 15th birthday. He was the only dog I ever had. . .it's been almost 5 years and I still grieve for him at times. I would love to get another dog one day, but unfortuneately I'm not in a position to commit right now so that would be selfish of me. Anyway, you kindly replied to my e-mail, telling me that Auggie sounded like one of those "rock your soul kinda dogs". I never forgot that. In my e-mail to you I said I think I just might be the new "Ms. Bojangles". . . for your readers the lyrics go "He spoke through tears of 15 years how his dog and him traveled about...The dog up and died, he up and died, And after 20 years he still grieves".

In memory of Auggie, after he passed, I scribbled down some words that I can finally read without balling my eyes out. Anyway, since you invited us to share, here it is:
To My Beloved Auggie:
You would lie down at my feet
And warm up my toes
You would kiss me
With your big, wet nose

I would sing to you and hug you
I would squeeze you and bug you

I never felt alone when you were near
You even licked away my tears

You seemed to understand my pain
As I cried to you again and again
You never complained

You were patient, loving and kind
To my faults, you were blind

You protected me and guarded our home
You never had a desire to roam

You entertained me with your antics each day
You taught me to love in a special way

I thank God for the privilege of knowing you my friend
... And all is not lost, I will see you again.
Oct.8,2005/Dee Biro

Brenda

Oh, I would also like to say that it was a treat to have a new volunteer arrive today (Colleen). She was great and just pitched in and did whatever was needed. She gave Chance his bath too, which he thoroughly enjoyed - and she brought a donation of paper towels, laundry soap, bleach, garbage bags, etc. All the essentials! Please come back Colleen, preferably on a Sunday. You were a huge help to Lynne and me in the house.

Tammy

You know how much I hate spiders, yes I fear if they decide to attack they will win. Well, did you know that I let one crawl up my face and sit by my eyebrow and I didn't even flinch.
We were on parade, I was in the front rank and just as I started to feel it crawl up my cheek (felt like a bead of sweat, only going up, not down) we were called to attention. It sauntered up my cheek and parked itself by my eyebrow, all I could see was his shadow out of the corner of my eye.
Freaking on the inside and not moving on the outside, how's that for discipline?
Damn big wigs, must have been six or seven of them doing the inspection, walked by and did nothing. A couple stopped for a double take then moved on. Right like I'm going to bring a spider with me on parade. Finally the last guy saw it and flicked it off. Not sure what I would have done if it was left there.
And no there was nothing I could do. It was a big Change of Command parade, I had six weeks before I was getting out and if I moved or freaked out I would be spending those six weeks working extra duties.
That's my scary spider story.

Brenda

I need to say that it's a good thing it was Erin who "found" Saint Agatha on the blanket, and not me. I am deathly afraid of spiders, and probably would have squashed her without even thinking, and would have been known as the "spider murderer" now. I can't believe I didn't even see the spider on the doorframe into the laundry area, as I'm in there a lot usually. Yay Erin, thankyou for disturbing Agatha, and getting her safely outside before I discovered her today, or it would have been a sad ending. I loved Charlottes Web as a kid, but just can't deal with a spider now as an adult. I guess I need therapy. Sorry, but that's the truth.

Barbara DeMott

well, Carol, I am going through a very hard time with my 10 year old collie-shepherd, Mollie. Mollie is probably the best dog I ever had: the original Lassie. a gentle, compliant, easy going, affectionate dog and she is suffering now with an auto-immune condition similar to lupus, called (acronym) SLO. it attacks the nails so they fall off and leave exposed nail beds. It is not curable so the only thing to do is try to manage it by boosting her immune system with omega oils, niacinimide and tetracycline( acting as an inflammatory rather than antibiotic in this incidence). Currently I have to give her nine capsules a day. When I got Mollie as a 6 month old she danced, she chased yellow butterflies in the daisies, she was a ballerina and now her feet really hurt her.
It is hard to see beautiful Mollie so subdued by her feet.
I did discover that greyhounds are particularly prone to this so when I contacted the greyhound rescue they gave me the contact for a wonderful vet in surrey who is well versed in this condition. Mollie and I spend a good 8 hours getting to Surrey and back to see this vet from the northern sunshine Coast. I love her so and am sad for her.

Jenn

You just don't wanna leave your computer chair do ya? cause its so dam comfy. I am a great daughter for buying you that and making Lindsey pitch in eh?

Hmmm something you don't know about me? But I tell you everything ... really I do.

Well at my work I ramdomly break out into song ... any song. Mostly musicals sometimes christmas songs (even in the summer). I usually only sing one line ... like "looooook at thisssss ...." (and its like a faulsetta sp? so its really high and I drag it out like an opera). They actually love it and want me to make up a musical for the xmas party and also for the up comming meeting there is a contest where each department has to do a presentation about what they do ... and they want me to write a song about customer service.

So ya. You didn't know there were people in this world that actually like me singing voice ... did cha. Ha!