endless love….

Posted: September 23, 2010 at 8:33 pm

i got all teary when i was driving home from work today..i was listening to my special sappy music cd. i was thinking of what i have lost in rescue..of what was the biggest and hardest of hits…and it wasn’t my marriage, or any semblence of normalcy, it wasn’t having a real home and privacy (altho that is kind of close) and it wasn’t my retirement security….

it was marilla, wee hopeful bug, spritely, and tyra…being able to touch them, to feel them, to smell each of their unique scents..just being able to see them as they wandered thru my life every day….that is what is the biggest loss.

and there are other great losses…clyde, wilbur, tally, hook, copper, dexter, cole, jazz, jesse, the queen of the mp room, jewel, the queen of the nile, tula, pause, droolie julie, bill, tucker, little jack, sweet pea, felix, maple, petunia, sparkles….. cuddles.

and there will be more…gideon, ellie, ziggy, maude….

i am left wondering, how many times can love be lost?

it must be a great many because daphne had no trouble grabbing a chunk of my heart, and neither has harold, chewie chewed a hole right in me and the cows have swallowed me whole…and that little bugger sammy is pushing her way deep inside too….and bonita, and bibi and larry… the little fat boy and oh my god…even reggie the absolute screaming head shattering freak has a piece of me.

so i guess the biggest thing i lost and will probably never get back again…is my unbroken heart…and that kind of sucks.

4 Comments on "endless love…."

  • lynne says

    hope you are getting to like little mr evelyn is trying to go to a home when she is discharged. sucks for everyone. call me or email if you want more info.

  • Carol says

    he had a seizure today…i forgot he was on phenobarb and none came along with him to remind me. i called the vets and got the right dose so we are starting him on it again. that is too bad about evelyn but life sucks sometimes for everyone.
    little mr will be fine here for as long as he needs…he is not near as annoying as phoebe!

  • Mo says

    Sometimes when I happen to have a quiet evening at home and I’m just hanging on the couch eating nachos & having a beer with my crew all around me, sleeping comfortably or perhaps chewing on yummy long lasting bone… I get all teary about those that don’t have the warm/soft/safe bed or the long lasting treat and then I get this scary feeling in my heart and gut about how much I love my guys and how my home & heart would be so empty if even 1 was taken or lost from me…then I decide I am getting to melancoly and it is scaring me so I put on some upbeat music or switch to the comedy channel… we humans are so weird

  • Mary says

    What have you found in rescue? An amazing heart – no matter how much you lose out of it, it stays full and there’s always room to put more in it. That’s the miracle of animals and the human heart.

    Bless you, Carol, for being you. The animals, no matter how much they push your buttons, know your heart.

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