Rescue Journal

A Loser Story

Carol  ·  Jun. 17, 2011

How I Became a Loser...

It's funny how your life can change in the blink of an eye. I used to think I was cool. Now a few days later everyone in the whole entire world thinks I am a GIGANTIC LOSER.
All I did was go into Vancouver with my friends to enjoy the street hockey parties. It was supposed to be fun. The next thing I know, I am not only in the middle of a riot, but I was an active part of the rioting crowd. I just joined in and got swept along, it was fun, it was exciting.

And suddenly, in just a few hours I became a loser to the entire planet. Even the terrorist groups thought we were lame, stupid and spoiled baby brats burning shit up for no reason at all except for the loss of a hockey game. I don't really know how it all got so out of hand and why I went so crazy with the crowd.
And there is no one I can talk to about this either right now because everyone who was there is pretending they weren't and everyone else in the world thinks we are all LOSERS.

At breakfast the next morning my mom said to me.."honey, you were not part of those losers going crazy downtown last night were you?
"No Ma, I wasn't anywhere near there."
"Well that's good dear because I couldn't have ever held my head up again if you were. I heard Johnny Smith was down there and his mother hasn't stopped crying yet from the embrassment of raising such a loser."

My Uncle Jack stopped by after lunch and I heard him talking to my dad..."did you see those freak show losers on TV last night?"
My dad said he did and he was glad no son of his was an idiot loser like those guys were.

I decided the only safe place that I could go was to confession and unburden my soul. When I was finished telling the priest about what I had done..there was silence on the other side of the confessional wall.
I asked the priest if he was going to give me Hail Mary's to cleanse my soul and put me right with God. He said no there was no point because God thought I was a loser too.

I used to be cool and then one night, I became a UNIVERSAL HEAVEN AND EARTH LOSER.

Being this BIG of a LOSER is so not cool.

Comments

Mo

I am remembering an incident I was involved in in my youth , I won't go into details , but during this incident I had a sense of excitement as well as a nagging feeling that I knew this was wrong, I allowed the excitement to silence the nagging & followed the group.

The next day...that nagging feeling wasn't nagging anymore it was a ROAR that vibrated through my entire body, I was ashamed, mortified, I felt wrong in my own skin for days. That was a moment that helped shape me, never again did I participate in any activity that gave me the slightest nagging feeling. If I was out with friends & it looked like things may head in the wrong direction, I left .

I have a great deal of empathy for anyone who was perhaps just like me back then and simply did just get caught up..but those people should come forward, beg forgiveness & make restitution. If they don't they may find they will carry this event for the rest of their lives

If Dr K's son fits into this category ...it is such a shame that this one thing has cost him was it is costing him... if his backpack was filled with Molotov cocktails, my sympathies lie with his parents

Carol

i think there reaches a point when all people..teens, young adults and full grown adults too are the ones responsible in how they interact with and shape the world around them. if they are going to do loser type behaviors, they have to accept that parents, friends, co-workers, bosses, country and god are going to recognise it for what it is....total and complete loser behavior.

when they take FULL ownership of what they do..then they can maybe grow up a bit more and CHOOSE to make themselves be better, more respectful, and more responsible people in the future.

every single person trapped there by plan or circumstance...had an equal opportunity to try to do right..there were also some pretty impressive every day joe public hero's down in those crowds on that night.

the very obvious and irrefutable bottom line?
some chose to serve and protect and some chose to follow along and enjoy the riot ride, and some chose to actually destroy....each of their choices shaped the world in vancouver that night.

all choices have consequences and if there is a god..i doubt he is blind.

some people have a bunch of bad karma to try to turn into good karma somehow. i think it will be a lot of hard work and i hope that they get there but that is their ultimate choice in now they proceed from here on in too...the right to forgiveness has to be earned.

Sheryl

It comes down to teaching our children responsibility and making them responsible for their actions - even when they are very young. If that isn't done, then chaos ensues.

Linda

I agree with most of what you said except there has to be hope for these people. Saying "God thinks he is a loser too", goes too far. Everyone is capable of being a jerk at some point in their life but parents and God, have to see the good in him/her. Yes, they should be caught, punished and made to pay. However, they can change and they must believe that they can change. We (anyone over 50) grew up in a much simpler world. I remember a stay-at-home mother (was there any other kind back then), help in the evening with homework, neighbours who were like family, unlocked doors, etc. Now we are quick to judge this younger generation that we have helped raise. Maybe we should look within ourselves too and put a bit of the blame there.

heidi

I bet...I am glad I am not one of those parents or kids...I hope they do the right thing and turn themselves in and man up (or women up...lots of girls engaging in that behaviour too) and accept whatever punishment is deemed necessary...it will be tough...cause jail time breeds criminals...jail may not be the best place for them but what they did can't go unpunished...tough...some of the businesses are not covered by insurance as insurance does not cover riots...this just makes me love dogs and animals more...even my badass jerk.

Carol

i saw that...it sparked the story...most of those kids were probably just kids swept away in a few hours of sheer stupidity, mob mentality and surreal lunacy.

i think the day after wake up calll for many, many young people is currently very scary.

heidi

check out cbc......one of the young men that lit the police car on fire is Dr. K's son (surgeon from Maple Ridge) and Olympic hopeful...this is confirmed and I am not spreading rumors....

heidi

well said and funny carol.

you should read what the americans are saying about us on one of the blogs....brilliant...they lose and wreck their own city, smart, we would have understood if they went to boston and rioted there....another said...that was no riot...that was like a love in with fire...come to LA if you want a riot...I am so ashamed and angry and humiliated...and I wasn't even there. Someone suggested they should have all their rights taken away...like their drivers liscence, care card, insurance etc...until they have paid back what they cost society...I mean the ones that stood around cheering and taking pictures infront of the burning buildings...
I think we should ship them over to Afganistan and serve over there....without guns of course cause...stupid people shouldn't carry guns...

Hillevi

Very well said! I am sure this tale is being repeated in many a household.