so while i was soaking in a sagey bombed out bath...

i was thinking about the other half of the thingy question..what do i think is my biggest accomplishment?

and if the truth be told..i think my biggest accomplishment was learning to live comfortably inside my very own flawed and fairly insignificant skin. i wasted so much time wanting to be someone else...the perfect daughter, sister, wife, mother, nurse and rescuer..i also wanted to be a free spirit hippy, a pious devoted nun and a world renowned architec who built awe inspiring structures that lasted right thru to the end of time...( i read atlas shrugged as a teenager.) i wished that i had lived during the slavery times or gone to vietnam to care for the wounded soldiers, or even to africa to help all of the orphaned by aids children...i so wanted to help right some totally screwed up world.

but really i was simply a self made square little peg surrounded by round holes that wanted to fit comfortably in somewhere. and where i felt most comfortable and at home was in the company of other little square pegged animals.

saints is the byproduct of learning that i can just be who i am..i don't have to be great, i don't have to be special, i don't have to be perfect..i just have to be ok on most days with being uniquely me.

someone should tell us on the day we are born that we are all one of a kind..then we could all just relax and get going on our journey without being afraid that we might get lost or left behind or not measure up along the way.

once i quit feeling like i wasn't who i wanted to be..i started being able to be who i am.