worrying

Posted: November 29, 2012 at 7:05 am

i am doing the whole reguritation thing over wilburs death. the what if’s, the maybe’s, and could be’s… drive me insane. it is because i don’t have a solid gut feeling on why he was suffering so. maybe i will feel i for sure did the right thing for him once the lab reports come back.
i hope so.

i can deal ok with losses…so many times the deaths here are inevitable…cancers, end stage disease, extreme age related system failures..i get that..and i am ok with it. but i am not ok when we have a death and we are guessing..was it this or that?..was it physical or emotional or mental? because the approach to dealing with those very varied things is different…treating something as an emotional or mental health problem is totally different then treating something that is from chronic pain.

i am not going to settle inside until those reports come back with a definitive answer on why wilbur was suffering. and i am truly afraid they will come back with no answer..that they couldn’t find anything wrong inside this little pig…and then i won’t know that we tried everything in the right direction and luckily guessed correctly for what he needed.

i am telling you the worst thing in rescue is the utter and complete burden of responsibilty of getting it right for each animal here. getting it wrong just cannot be.
“i should have” guilt is a terrible thing.

14 Comments on "worrying"

  • Penny says

    We make decisions with the best information we have at the time. Only hindsight can sometimes give us a clearer picture, and show whether we could have done it better or not. At that point, there’s nothing more we can do, but live with the consequences. This is the way life is. In your case Carol, it’s sadly often life and death decisions. It’s a horrible position to be in and you need to do it so often. I’m sure you made the right decision for Wilbur if he was suffering for any reason. There’s nothing worse than letting an animal suffer.

  • dawn says

    Carol,
    Gas Busters will be there to look at the furnace hopefully tomorrow or for sure on the weekend.

  • jan says

    Totally agree with Penny! And sometimes we just have to worry it until it(the reason) doesnt matter anymore and then we find some peace. You have an idea where I come from 😉 jan

  • Maggie says

    Great news…Turtle Gardens is through to the next round in the Aviva Challenge.
    Voting starts again on December 3rd so mark your calendars.

  • Curt says

    Was waiting for someone to comment on that Maggie, I guess Penny is slipping as she is always on top of the Turtle Gardens stuff

  • Penny says

    LOL – I just checked with Aviva and was going to blog. Maggie beats me to it!!!!

  • shelagh f says

    Carol, sent you an email. Will be bringing
    baking to bank and then out to Saints Friday
    so you can leave me all the cat rooms, will
    be there about 10am. after bank

  • Maggie says

    Great minds, Penny!

  • erin says

    today i recieved some donated goods for the bake sale, put them on the table in the shop, is someone able to come get them? i can bring to the bank after 2 tomm, but thats a little late, didnt realize i shouldve brought them there today….didnt know stuff was being dropped off at saints.

  • val birch says

    HI there,
    My name’s Val Birch and I apologize for my using this but I have a bunch of baking for your sale and I got lost I thought I found the bank but is wrong I was communicating with Laura by email. My lovely phone isn’t letting me access my email I looked for a phone number to reach saints can’t find. I’m from surrey so would be shame to drive all way out here -toll and all. I’m a moron. Help?!

  • shelagh f says

    val
    I live in Langley and am going to deliver
    baked goods tomorrow and go to Saints. If you
    want to call me you could drop the stuff off
    tonight. I will be leaving the house about
    0830 tomorrow a.m. so tonight or tomorrow if
    you want. 604 514 9969

  • Janice ter Borg says

    Val, if Shelagh’s suggestion doesn’t work for you & you are still in the area, it’s SCOTIABANK at 33217-1ST AVE, MISSION, B.C. Laura’s email is lauralb1@hotmail.com

  • laura says

    val you can call me 604-302-7624

  • val birch says

    Thank you Shelagh and Janice for your suggestions. Luckily, Laura saved my day! I found the saints number through the google map link and called a few times but no answer so I thought I’d try to leave it at Saints somewhere. Sooo I parked at the end of the shop driveway. I didn’t want to set off the alarms and get the dogs all riled up. I saw no choice but to leave the stuff under a tree in a variety of plastic with my umbrella and hope for the best. I was almost done setting it up when Laura showed up! Thank god. Thank you so much Laura for taking care of that stuff for me I really appreciate it! I don’t think the cupcakes would have survived the critters overnight- I saw a family of raccoons crossing the road around the corner from SAINTS. Good luck tomorrow with the sale!

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