Rescue Journal

the yin and the yang of rescue

Carol · Mar. 31, 2013

so sad without hubby sleeping next to me last night. but i am very glad he had such a good death. passing while sleeping is rare and i am very thankful to hubby that my opinion nor decision was not needed by him.

odie...now there is one who is tying me right up into knots. part of me feels so very sorry for him because he is so very, very upset. but there is a part of me that is totally pissed at him too because he is being such dickheaded, mean, out and out asshole freak out.
apparently he bit lynne yesterday...i am assuming she was just trying to get past him while he parked himself and claimed ownership of the kitchen doorway....he was doing that a lot yesterday. he is growling and threatening me now when i have to give him his insulin...he is beyond himself with frustrated anger about everything.

some of his frustration is over the cone...he freaking hates it and it keeps him in a foul mood. part of it is suspiciousness...he has lost trust in everyone because of the things we have had to do to him regarding his wounds lately. and part of it is odie is a jerk and prone to negatively over reacting anyway.

so..i have thought about this and there three things i absolutely cannot change...he has to wear the cone for now because he is dangerous and he needs to leave his wounds and drain alone so they can heal. he absolutely has to have his insulin twice every day if he doesn't he will become very ill. and in two weeks he has to go back into the vets for one more gawd awful experience to get the staples and drain removed, they cannot stay in him forever.

but we will not be flushing or cleaning his wounds..the antibiotics will have to be enough to kick out the infection and let him heal....i am not torturing or tormenting that dog and sending him over the edge into powerless, panic stricken, out of his mind violence. i am not going to do it. if in 2 weeks everything has healed then he can suck up his terror for one more day and be done with it all. if however it hasn't for whatever reason...that is it, we are done, i will ask the vet to put him down and set him free. i am fucking done torturing odie. but my real fear is...even if he heals...will odie ever forgive and forget? he cannot remain so suspicious and dangerous, i won't be able to manage him here if he does.

and i bet you this is really why i am pissed at him because i feel so absolutely shitty inside and afraid of where this all might end. it is all so unnecessary..the things he needs to suck up and accept in the grand scheme of things are no big deal. countless of creatures have had to tolerate staples and tubes, cones on their heads and daily cleansing of wounds. for gawds sake odie, calm down and suck it up and one day not so far away it will be done.

anyway missing hubby while loving and hating odie today.

Comments

wendy scott

Praying that Odie behaves and his wounds mend soon. Thanks Michelle for brushing Ewok. She does so love brushing and attention, as her hair is so thick and curly.

lynne

sorry i still do not think he is a bad dog. lol

Carol

odie actually is a bad dog...he just has an angelic face. anyway...we took him for a field run down around the pond tonight with mystic and june (i knew they wouldn't bug him.) he was so much happier, just to be out and moving around. he really sucks with that cone on his head but he managed to get around.
erin will take him out each morning before the rest of the dogs get to go out and i will take him out in the evenings, maybe the nice weather, some freedom and exercise will help mellow him out...it can't hurt.
love ya odie capote...we will try everything we can to help you feel ok inside again but you have to try a little bit too.

lynne

he does not always lash out and bite when you are near him. today when all the volunteers, except for myself left, he was laying down sleeping very soundly he is not a monster, he is a dog who has just been through hell. he is afraid and he is upset, but he is not a bad dog. i feel very badly for fletcher and even more so for odie, but hopefully it will work out for him. poking him when you are near him is realy not a good idea, it just gets him riled up even more. i pray that he will come around and just be his normal dickheaded self.

Bridget

it's a shame you can't use something like a snooker cue, to nudge him when you're near him so he won't lash out and bite you... he'll bite the cue.
you'd go through three a day, but the less flesh bitten, the better.
maybe sub-q valium would help....for Carol and Odie, both, though from what you say, these drugs have no effect on Odie when his blood is up. and it's probably better if Carol is on high alert if Odie is being an absolutely dickhead rather than relaxed and not noticing she's even being bit. (i am speaking not just for Carol, but everyone who interacts with Odie).
sadly... no valium at the door for those who work, live, or volunteer at SAINTs.

shelagh f

exactly Cricket. If Odie's mom had been spayed
and Fletcher's mom had been spayed, there
would be no bad genes to pass on. Both owners had
no thought as to what sort of puppies they would
be producing. They just wanted puppies, either
for fun or money, both poor reasons

Cricket

I feel bad for Odie. He's blind, and from out of nowhere, he was jumped by a puppy who did not need a reason. I can't imagine how Odie must feel. For all he knows, Fletcher might be coming home any time, and it makes sense that he'd be coiled and ready to spring. I'm not saying Odie should be allowed to attack people, but it sounds to me like he's on high alert because the attack happened without warning, and in his mind, people he had trusted hurt him every time they touch him. I hate that he's going through this, and I hate that he's putting Carol and the rest of the incredible SAINTS volunteers and staff through this... all anyone wants to do is help him and help him heal comfortably. The whole situation sucks, and not the least because Odie, judging solely by the blogs I've read about him since he arrived at SAINTS, has always had a dickhead streak--everyone just had to avoid pissing him off.

I truly hope that the sedation is more successful when they take his stitches out and that he's more cooperative and can be healed and doesn't have to remember that trauma too. I feel so badly for him and for everyone else dealing with this situation.

And I feel terrible for Carol, who may have to make the same terrible decision about Odie as she did about Fletch--because if Odie becomes as much of a hair-trigger as Fletch was becoming and becomes violent without reason or warning, it's no longer safe or fair to the other people and animals of SAINTS, and he may have to cross the bridge.

And Fletcher... the innocent and sweet puppy who caused this... I'm not saying this is his fault either (my mother struggled with mental illness, and I understand that sometimes there isn't a reason or a trigger for what someone does to another). I just hate that this has happened, is happening, to all involved. And dammit I hate breeders who irresponsibly breed puppies with no regard for temperament and no guilt or responsibility for the harm their poor practices have caused.

suzanne

I'd be pissed too. Are these behaviors of Odie's just because he is a jerk or are they fear based? I think that while I was being pissed at Odie, I might have a bit of pissed-offedness reserved for Fletch (rip) as well. It would be a real tragedy if Odie had to die because of what Fletch did.

sheila

Whenever Oliver had some kind of medical issue his behaviour would escalate but he would get back to being as normal as Ollie could be eventually. So hopefully the same will happen for Odie. Although Ollie's saving grace was he would never bit Leila - just maybe me and if he tried it with the other dogs he would fall over.

Michelle

Hey Carol just wondering how Georgia's doing? And to let you know I could only brush half of Ewok cuz she was so comfy laying up against your dresser and wouldn't budge and I didn't want to disturb her but she sure did love it! Maybe I can finish today

erin

i gotta be honest carol, i wasnt looking forward to 2 weeks of that, how long did it take for me to convince odie to come to me? 20 mins? after one time. we will force him into inner turmoil. my kids are coming with me tomm, they will be staying on the bed buddies side all day, i hope it doesnt stress june too much.

lynne

i feel really badly about odie. it was not his fault fletcher attacked him and it really has to suck that he has a belly that was rpped open , staples in it a cone on his head and is blind. gawd i would feel the same way. the bite was not bad, yes he was in the doorway. hopefully he will trust again he can be such a sweet dog and if you have to put him down it will be a double whammy. please be good odie we do love you and want to keep you around.

Fiona

I wondered the same thing Carol, will he ever get over this and trust anything again?? I sure hope so but the doubt is there. Maybe if he had his sight it would be easier, who knows.