Rescue Journal

fractured fairy tales.

Carol  ·  Aug. 22, 2013

there is always something going on around here to boggle my brain, if it isn't trying to figure out stuff with the animals, then it is trying to figure out stuff with people and if it isn't that then it is trying to figure out stuff with the money like how to make it stretch 4 times further than it possibly can.
people wonder why I am so often introverted and distant...it is because my mind is almost permanently stuck away in thinking about stuff land.

I am pretty sure if I didn't have saints, I would be pleasantly cheerful and socially adept..i think I used to be like that. however, years of this have pretty much stripped out the fluff and just left behind a stripped down machine programmed to deal with the problematic hard facts.
maybe that's why I have such contempt for airy fairy, warm and fuzzy that obscures reality.

I could look at rocko and put such a warm and sweet twist on the actual events...were we not so kind and generous to take him in, to help his aging family by giving them a hopeful option for him. did we not do our very best by him. was he not in our thoughts, on our radar, were we not watching him closely and worrying about him, trying so hard to do the best for him while he settled in.
and all of that is absolutely true.

but the bottom line is he died a month after he got here, he was still upset and not settled. and maybe this in part was due to his underlying health issues catching up with him and in part due to the stress of losing his home. but in retrospect I wish I had said no and let him be put down so his last month of life was not spent in unhappiness. I wish he had ended his life while he thought life was still predictable and good.

all of the good intentions aside...as far as rocko is concerned, this is the reality of what happened to him...he died feeling unwell and unsure in a shelter.
there is no way to put a warm and fuzzy spin on that for him.

this doesn't happen very often around here, where we lose them before we have a chance to help them feel good. but it does periodically happen and I hate it.

and what I really hate is..it is part of the reality of rescue.

freaking warm and fuzzy fairy tales are just in books.

Comments

Carol

I forgot to mention that Loretta passed away yesterday. she was part of the classy chick group and nuggets room mate. rest in peace Loretta, I think you were happy here.

Kim

House people-- my tire is flat. I can see where it looks like a screw is stuck in there. I'm looking for someone to help me put spare on or give me a ride, but so far everyone is away or working. I'll keep looking. Hopefully someone sees this......GRRRRR!!

laura

That is so sad to hear of Amber's passing....I saw her foster dad quite often and he just loved and adored her...big hugs to him....rip dear Amber so glad you had a HOME.

Carol

I did quick updates on facebook last night. for those that don't do facebook...

1. sadly, amber our foster dog was euthanized yesterday. she collapsed from an unknown hemangiosarcoma..her foster dad is devastated.
2. Trudy who dawn adopted about a year ago? is quite ill...looks like end stage renal failure. waiting to hear what she and the vet have decided later today.
3. charlotte and wills are ok, the staff divided off their pen and did an excellent job. they are both still a little sad and depressed by everything that has happened in the past copuple of days.
4. max cat has been moved to the house and is doing ok.
5. new cat tony from terrace is doing ok.
6. two new cats in last night, their owner died yesterday. they are 12 yr old orientals and have been set up for now in a medical room pen.

thats pretty much it.

until I can post blog entries again..i will just continue to do quick updates in this comment thread on the blog so at least you guys have some idea on what is going on around here for now.

Carol

looks like the blog is up again, but I am still unable to post...I can't get into admin.

just wanted you to know I am not being lazy, just techno challenged right now.

worse comes to worse and I can just keep a running update going in this comment section I suppose.

Brent

Off topic: we are now just barely ahead of the 3rd place shelter in the current challenge.

Penny

It was rough that things worked out the way they did for Rocko. True he didn't settle, but he was loved at Saints and enjoyed all the cuddles he was given there. In retrospect, maybe it would have been better to put him down when his caregiver went into care himself. But if that had happened, his elderly caregiver would probably have felt guilty and upset that he hadn't been able to give Rocko a second chance, and wondered about the "what-ifs". Possibly in this instance Carol, being kind and taking in Rocko was more for his elderly owner's sake than for Rocko's. If Rocko's health had been better, I'm sure he would eventually have settled and been happy at Saints.