life goes on

Posted: October 4, 2014 at 7:43 am

i am home from my couple of days away. i wasn’t really away…the phone still rang, the texts still came, i still had vet runs that had to be done but i did it away from saints.

pepper had a great last night…just him and me, one on one, moment by moment care. he laid in the grass in the sunshine, he laid on the softest of beds, he breathed in the peace and serenity of a pretty cottage near the lake.

for his last supper, i made him scrambled eggs and bacon and he surprised me by sampling a tiny taste of each…it was the first things he had willingly eaten in almost a week.

on the way into the vets the next morning, i stopped at mcdonalds and bought him a sausage mcmuffin…as i drove i broke off little bits and he ate them all and hope started floating again. once we were at the clinic..i asked the vet that if it was possible that the toxins released by his severe muscle trauma could possibly have made his liver values even worse. and she said that he certainly did have underlying liver disease but it was possible that the attack exacerbated his problem and maybe if he was eating now, he was feeling a bit better and might have some more time left. by this point hope was now soaring again and we decided to give him another week or two and repeat the bloodwork again. but erin had just found under a small matt, a yet undiscovered puncture in his back leg so the vet said she would flush it and staple it close and i could come back for him in half an hour to take him home.

i used that time to run to the grocery store to buy him some sausages…we were going to be cooking up a storm of them for him since he seemed to like them so well. the phone rang while i was doing the shopping and it was our vet..she had noticed that the tendon was snapped from that puncture and decided to do a quick xray just to make sure that everything else was ok.

it wasn’t…the hock joint was dislocated, the joint capsule was gone…pepper was not feeling any pain from this because we had him on such good and regular pain control. but now he had two useless legs, one front and one back. the radial nerve was severed in the front leg and despite surgery it probably would never weight bear again. the back leg would require major orthopedic surgery to fuse the joint, he might one day be able to stand on it again but it would never be able to bend.

could pepper survive the surgery when he was already stricken with severe liver disease, when his front leg was already useless? even if he did, he would most likely end his life with pneumonia from post surgical immobility..it would be weeks to months before he was moving again.

save him seemed so simple a week ago but it has not been simple at all. i drove back to the clinic and i held him for his final injection. pepper is finally free from it all.

it has been a shitty, shitty week…so full of heartache, hope, disappointment and guilt…so full of loss from three little messed up dogs that all of us love still.

i came home and picked up benny and took him back to the lake with me. the sun was shining, he toddled around in the water, he rolled around in the sand, he buggered off to the neighbors back yard and went exploring on his own the second my back was turned. he had pizza for dinner, he slept on the super soft beds that pepper had slept on the night before.

new cat in,,,beeshu is an 11 yr old cat whose family moved away and left her. the folks in the complex have been feeding her for the past couple of months but no one was able to catch her. hana who started volunteering with us when she was like 11 years old…six years later after much effort was able to catch her and bring her to us. hana has grown up well.

possible new horse coming in… but she will not be coming to saints because our barn is full, so she will be going into boarding. katy is a thirty six year old mare whose family has had her for many years.she has been out on a free lease for 4 years now but the farm where she is at is going to be sold. she belongs to a senior on a seniors income who cannot afford to board her anywhere else. the farm suggested putting katy down now but her family do not feel she is ready yet…so she may or may not be coming into our care. we will see what happens when all the parties involved decide what is best for this elderly horse.

phoebe has diarrhea.

ewok was vomitting last night because she was eating poop again.

i have to run to the vets to pick up a steriod injection for max cat his mouth is sore again.

tonight is the big gala…i have lots on my plate before i can make it there for that.

the dogs were all so happy to have me home again and sleeping with them in my bed.

and life goes on….again.

4 Comments on "life goes on"

  • Penny says

    Rest peacefully, Pepper. Such a sad/jjoyful story about his last couple of days. He must have thought he was in heaven down at the lake with you, Carol. Now I’m sure he is.

  • AnnC says

    Sweet dreams Pepper…….hugs to you Carol

  • Ali says

    Rest in peace my sweet little pepper boy.

    Thank you to the SAINTS staff for holding down the fort so Carol could get away for a few days. Best staff EVER.

  • Fiona says

    I am glad I didn’t read this Saturday morning before I went there. It was hard enough not to burst into tears when talking to KO, this would have done me in. So, so sad. RIP Pepper, you were loved.

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