i ordered a new bed

Posted: October 14, 2019 at 8:24 pm

because i sleep with bed eating assholes.

my whole rescue life has been about outsmarting the furry problem children but i have been losing the “don’t eat my freaking bed” for years. i have been throwing around my bed fail safe idea but no one likes my absolutely fool proof and brilliant plan….a casket. room enough for one to get a good nights sleep and then pop the lid closed in the morning when i leave, the bed will be perfectly safe from the bed eaters! sadly everyone i consulted thought it was just too weird of a solution…carol the vampire rescuer or something but it would make an interesting story during the public tours.

anyway..on to plan B which does not involve the obvious solution..bunk beds (i am afraid of heights and ladders.) this time thinking outside the bed box..but not far enough out to freak out the humans…i ordered a metal day bed. the kind with three fancy metal sides. i figure if i push the open side up against the wall, then all sides are protected. unfortunately it virtually means i will be sleeping in an adult sized crib which is not near as super cool as sleeping in a coffin. however folks here are more comfortable with the carol in a crib idea.

sometimes dogs are THE. BED. ENEMY.

anyway again..the staff have an idea to switch the dog areas around which involves moving me (and my asshole bed eating dogs) out of the sun room area. so far in the past 15 years my bedroom has been in every single room in the house except the bathroom, the kitchen and the laundry area. i guess i am used to bedroom shifting. maybe by the time i get home from our trip i will have a new bed and a new (used) room to crash in….or maybe not. you never know what will be around here. whatever…at my age its hard to get too excited about a new crib…hopefully no one will hang a musical mobile over it either.

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