Category: “SAINTS RESCUE 101”

a rescue history lesson

Posted: January 28, 2013 at 6:43 pm

we were looking at the spay and neuter tattoo books at deanna’s, these were from her work with SANS..pages and pages, thousands of numbers and matching names. maggie asked..all of those many, many animals saved, over the decades and how come no one knew her name?
well…the senior rescuers were not supposed to be known..they were a small and very select special crew. if you needed someone to pay for a cat spay, if a low income person needed to re-home a dog..if a pound or shelter animal was up for destruction, via a chain of phone calls…they could be found. but they were distrustful of most everyone in the world and they didn’t trust each other all that much either.

most of them (but not all) were angry people..burnt out with sacrifice, betrayal, disappointment, broken promises, hardship and back breaking work, and none of it ever got better…each year it just got worse and worse.

you have to understand that 20 years ago rescue was different. the shelters didn’t call and ask anyone to save an animal. if a rescuer wanted to save an animal from death in a shelter, they had to get someone not outright stupid to go in and pretend to adopt.
the shelters distrusted the rescuers, the rescuers distrusted the shelters..there was this pervasive air of subterfuge and sabatoge..enemies on the same side and in the same trench.

very few were ever allowed into the homes, shelters and compounds of the rescuers…it left them too open to shut down, criticism or rebuke. they were a paranoid bunch but they were paranoid for good reason. these places had no money, few resources, and far too many animals. trusted volunteers were sometimes let in but most just dropped supplies at the gates. adopters usually had the animal chosen for them by the rescuer without ever meeting them and delivered to their new homes by volunteers. if they did get as far as the gates, they met the animal out on the road…dogs on a leash, cats in a crate.
it was a war to save animals lives on shoe strings, beat up hand me downs, hope and prayer and these women were strong and fiercely determined, independent and private and they could live with pretty much nothing but animals and air.

in the lower mainland, there were just a handful of them…but i did not know of them all. these were the down and dirty senior rescuers..and some of them are still out in there in their 60’s, and 70’s saving desperate animals in the shadows. some of them died in the traces while doing their rescue gig.

i don’t know how many remember bev but she died in a rescue fire trying to save the animals in her care.

a few are well known for various things but most of those things are unhappy things. not many are known for the thousands of animals they helped in their rescue careers when there was no other help out there.

these were the days before petfinder, before computers, internet or rescue blogs…everything was just word of mouth. these were the days where each one alone ( or with very little help) tried to keep up to the never ending tide of homeless and unwanted animals of 20 or 30 years ago…and there were A LOT!

it was a whole different rescue world back then and they became who they needed to be to go on.
and when they are all gone, few will even know they were here…just those of us who remember and know how hard they worked and lived.

are you kidding me…this is ethical???

Posted: January 26, 2013 at 4:06 pm

not in my books..i am sure donors would just love being passed around..not. and where is the privacy and confidentiality in this either?
does anyone know is this universally accepted practice?
cuz it just feels TOTALLY wrong to me.

Good Afternoon,

My name is XXX, I am the Co-Executive Director and Co-Founder
of XXX., a nationally registered XXX
charitable organization. We would like to ask if your charity has a
policy in place where they will trade their Donors List with another

If you would be interested in exchanging our donor list please contact
me by email or by telephone at: xxxx

Thank you for your time.

well we didn’t have a policy in place before but we sure as heck do now…it is very simple policy …NO not EVER.
(oh and X is not an animal charity, just so no one thinks this is an animal rescue thing.)

rescue is a pit of quicksand as far as moral and ethical issues go.

Posted: January 21, 2013 at 7:35 am

it is like the whole issue of true “no kill.” it is morally and ethically impossible. you simply cannot save every single animal. suffering is doesn’t matter if it is physical, mental or emotional and if you cannot alleviate suffering then you have to be kind and let the animal go. rescue is not about just keeping them alive…it is about ensuring their quality of life.

quality of life is another slippery do you determine how much someone else is enjoying their life? sheila and i had this discussion yesterday. wagging tails and happy to see you excitement does not necessarily mean someone is happy. it could actually mean they are frantically full of want/or need and desperately seeking something. i am kind of at that place with our diabetic cat oliver now. the insulin adjustment again did not work..his blood sugars just bottomed out. still once they went way up high again…he is eating with gusto, he is out and about and interactive..he purrs when i pick him up..but that cat is not happy. he is tormented physically and mentally by his disease that we cannot seem to manage or fix. and i need to quit procrastinating and admit that we are not able to provide a decent quality of life for him.

adoption fees are another moral issue for me. i simply cannot and will not put a price tag on any living or breathing thing. i am not an animal broker and i do not sell living things.
by the same token i absolutely will not give them to someone looking for an animal for free.
so i found my comfort zone by allowing adopting folks the option to make a donation towards caring for all of the animals here. how much or how little they donate is entirely up to them just like any kind of donation…it is a personal choice based on their beliefs and financial comfort. none of my business how much that will be. my business is to ensure they can and will meet the needs of their new family member once that animal leaves me and i have already made sure of that before the adoption paperwork begins.

i can and do rescue and provide care for 100+ animals every day of the year. but i can only do that well by having an army of dedicated staff and volunteers to fundraise and help care for them well. there is no point in rescuing anyone if we cannot or will not take care of them..better to leave them to whatever fate awaits then to take them and become just another ongoing problem for them. we are responsible for every aspect of their overall well being from the moment we take them to the moment they leave us. there are no excuses for not ensuring they are taken care of well.
there are rescues that are like concentration or refugee camps..that is not rescue..that is having too many to care for properly. having said that, there are some compromises that have to be made while animals live in shelters..but good food, fresh water, clean beds, clean and decently groomed, parasite free bodies, ongoing appropriate medical care, regular stimulation and exercise, personal safety, daily love and affection are the non negotiable basics of responsible shelter care. and you absolutely have to have the appropriate space, manpower and finances to provide this basic level of care.

animals in rescue do not have to have the perfect life..but they have to have a decent life that meets their basic needs. the perfect life comes when and if we place them with the right families. but to stay on top of caring for them in between, we have to have strong foundations in high standards of care and avoid the pitfalls of quicksand that will swallow not only ourselves but the animals we pledged to help when we decided to “rescue” them.

caring for senior animals

Posted: June 8, 2012 at 5:36 am

i have been meaning to write this one for some time..might as well do it now since i got up so early.

while it sounds so wonderfully soft, peaceful and special to give a home to a senior animal..there are a few things to consider…like…ongoing health issues which are likely to get worse…cardiac, kidney, arthritic disease etc…, incontinence, and other disabilities…. hearing, vision and mobility losses….and emotional issues that can go along with continued aging, like anxieties and dementia’s.

not everyone is cut out to take on homeless seniors. the vision of the old dog peacefully finishing off his or her life laying by the fire is quite simply a warm and fuzzy fantasy. seniors are hard work. they do not suddenly become perfectly great dogs just because they got old..if they were jerks when they were younger, you can bet they will still be jerks when they get older..aging does not turn any of us into ancient angels.

but here is the thing about seniors…the older they get, the more vulnerable and frail they become…physically, emotionally and mentally. they absolutely need continuous 24/7 patience and loving support and they need it more and more of it as they continue to age. if we feel frustrated with them and their aging issues…we just mess them up even more.

i remember a little poodle coming in a few years go….i had said yes to her but she ended up with another rescuer closer to home. i got a call a couple of wesks later that she was demented and lost in her head. i believe this was true…change is really hard on the ancients. anyway…she eventually did end up here, it took some time but she settled in well and eventually she found a great home to finish her life in.

getting old sucks for is freaking hard…but it is easier if those around us understand this.

the animals who do best are the ones who live in an atmosphere of complete and total acceptence. i have pulled aging foster dogs out of foster homes because as their care needs got greater, the stress levels grew higher. one simply doesn’t know how difficult it can be to care for the aged until one experiences it first hand.

and sometimes, it is too much. too much for the foster family…and consequently too much for the one is having any fun any more.

what folks do with their own pets that have grown old with them is usually different..there is a shared lifetime of loyalty there..but for the homeless seniors..sometimes that really strong lifelong and committed forever bond…just isn’t there.

this is why it is pretty much just our long term and senior volunteers who foster for saints. by the time they are so in love with an animal here that they really NEED to take them home..that unbreakable bond is already there.

i do have some advice for those considering seniors, either as fosters or adoptive new family members….

1. understand that they will at some point (probably sooner than later) become fully incontinent..peeing and pooping everywhere.

2. understand that as they suffer aging losses of health, cognition, senses and mobility..they are going to depend on you more and more and need more and more care.

3. at some point you are going to be a 24 hour a day nurse in addition to being their pillar of strength and trust AND the provider of their daily love and happiness…it IS a very heavy burden of caregiving to bear.

but aged animals (and humans) are helpless..they are victims of aging bodies and minds over which they have no control and they need someone with them who not only truly cares but who can accept and respect and embrace the aging process and help them to always feel well loved, safe, accepted, valued and special….it truly upsets and hurts them and makes them feel unsafe and unwanted if they suddenly feel like a continual pain in the ass.

not everyone can do this and that is really ok..better to recognise this and stay out of the ancient kitchen then to resent being trapped in there every day.

old animals need to be with people who feel blessed in being on an end of life journey with ancient and totally wrecked beings and in bringing joy and happiness to them every day.

it is never easy, and no one ever gets to be a super hero in the hardwork and heartache of this…but for those who really want to do this, that is ok.


sometimes i get stuck…

Posted: April 25, 2012 at 7:29 am

frozen silent with the words i want to say blocking any other possible words, like a log jam. and i try to figure out why is there that word jam that keeps me silent?

nicole forwarded me an email to answer from a super nice, caring, senior dog loving lady from back east. she wants to start a senior dog sanctuary and is asking for some advice.

what i want to say is..don’t do it, run for the hills..either you will totally suck at it and screw up a bunch of old dogs lives….or… will be pretty good at it and totally screw up the rest of your own life.

i can’t write her that..not the least bit helpful at all. and why the heck do i feel this very real need to say this anyway? i adore old and wrecked dogs and i am not unhappy living my life this way.

the email sits unanswered and when i have nothing else to worry about…i ponder why this is so.

maybe it is because i am afraid to be responsible for whatever choices she makes? maybe i am afraid that whatever words i finally get out may sway her either way.

her email was lovely..long, well written, compassionate and caring and there seemed to be a sweet innocence there.

my kids recently got their hands on a photo of me when i was nineteen….i was so young and pretty. i was thinking if someone had told me 35 years ago that when i was middle aged, i would one day be very competently nursing sick people and old animals and had a sanctuary like saints….i would have been so excited and happy for me. not only is it a great way to dedicate my life but even then, i loved being with animals as much as i possibly could.

so why do i wish i could go back 30 odd years and say…carol..don’t even think it!

and i think it is this..i have learned to live past the dream of rescue and live in the reality. but the dream was so pretty, so pure, so innocent…so childlike and the adult version is different. it is harder, it is dirtier, it makes me feel incapable and inadequate frequently..i am filled with doubts, second guessing each thing…even an innocent email about starting a rescue dream.

i really should answer that email sometime today but i have no idea what to say…i don’t regret this rescue road but i am not sure i should have gotten on it in the first place….maybe if i hadn’t, i could still be more like that sweet and innocent nineteen year old where the reality of dreams seemed so beautiful and were luckily far away?

brain boggling again.

Posted: July 20, 2011 at 8:40 am

ewok is not a magic eraser dog….she has mud and shavings stuck to her fur which means sadly each day after she is finished mucking around the pond and the barn…someone is going to have to brush her. because she needs drying time (she quite likes to swim) that someone is probably me. i don’t want to brush a big, black, fuzzy, dirty dog when i get home from work. why can’t she be like the magic eraser dogs where the crap just falls off of them? (usually on my bed!)…life is so unfair.
smokey might be a magic eraser dog…he is usually pretty clean or maybe he is careful when he is out to not get so freaking messy.

they are both settling in…they now are sharing a bigger bed in the big dog room and moving around on their own a bit more. they are both actually coming up to me with the others to say hello and get a cuddle when i come home….they really and truly are very sweet and gentle dogs. but because they moved over to the big dog room, i haven’t brought jess back to the house at night. there is no way i am letting him bug them so he has to stay over in the office for now.

some new dogs feel comfortable here within a day or two…a few have taken as long as a month or 6 weeks (bibi)..i am thinking these guys are probably going to be the slower ones…and i am wondering if, they might end up being more comfortable themselves in the office if i switch them and jesse around. we will see. i don’t want to move them unless i have to….if they can be happy in the house with a bit of time and patience, that is where i prefer them to be. but i am keeping in mind their history…they were puppies when they went to live with a family in their 80’s and they are 13 years old now. their whole lives have probably been quiet, subdued and predictable and the office in the end might suit them both really well. i suppose we can handle jess in the house again, it just means the little ones can’t go into the big dog room anymore…not that they will care that much since they are more concerned with having unlimited access to my bed.

every time new animals come in…we have to re-figure, re-configure, and sort everyone’s needs out again. it is exhausting and stressful and worrisome trying to meet the individual needs of so many…which is EXACTLY why i wanted a break from new intakes…i just want everyone to settle and get comfortable in their right for them perfect place. we are still trying to sort out the medical room to find the perfect match in there. we moved maestro and sage out to stop oliver from picking on them..then we had to move oliver out cuz he just moved down the line and started picking on granny. sage and maestro really like their new area and oliver is going quite well in the house..but charlie is now depressed and unhappy because she is missing oliver who was her special bud. and there is no way charlie can come over and move to be close to her friend oliver, she would have a meltdown in the house.
princess leia is sad and depressed since her loss of patches. tammy tried to bond her with bob but bob is such a dickhead bunny, it didn’t work out.

we can give these guys fresh and plenty of food and water, we can give them a good and clean home, we can give them kindness and caring and proper medical care but our job is still not done. we have to give them contentment and help them find joy in their days and that takes a lot of effort and faith…in and from them and ourselves.
we have taken in so many new ones over the past few months….meanie sweetie, yoda, jedi, daisy, cherry, oliver, mac, harry, black bart, cocoa, stanley, long john silver, fergus, granny, sage, maestro, cash, tina, pops, dixie, smokey and ewok.. for us it is a lot. we are not a traditonal shelter where each animal comes in to an individual pen. all of our news ones and all of our old ones with each new admission need to learn to live with everyone all over again…each new admission changes the dynamics around here…changes the needs of the others. some slide in with hardly a ripple but others like meanie sweetie or oliver, can and do trigger a tidal wave of change.

we all need time to let everyone settle…we were so close to being there before smokey and ewok came….just a few more minor adjustments, just a bit more tweaking of which personalities did best in which area and i could glimpse the light at the end of the tunnel. hah! even 2 very sweet and gentle dogs apparently can make that glimpse of light in the distance go away.
we are back to waiting and watching and thinking and planning and figuring out the needs and wants of two more today and how that all will affect the needs and wants of everyone else.

i am telling you, it simply boggles my brain on some days and it is why rescue pretty much sucks. anyone can take in a ton of animals and stuff them somewhere..the trick is to make them reasonably happy while living in an animal shelter and that is not ever easy…it gives me a freaking headache.

cherry needs god damn pizza, charlie needs oliver but also peace and quiet, jelly needs a spot without animals near her food bowl, meanie sweetie can be with big but not small dogs, noelle needs everyone around her to be calm, granny needs fancy feast every day, phoebe needs a zen-den, fergus needs a thousand balls and jesse far away, mini-me needs access to the top of my dresser so she can feel big and tall while she screams down at the dogs on the floor, marvin needs someone to sit with him while he eats, mystic needs to eat my shoes, my slippers my books, griffin needs his playpen with its freaking access hole, princess leia needs a new (and nice) friend, al just needs everyone to shut up so he can get up on my bed without a riot going off…everyone needs something different…

and figuring it out and keeping it all straight…. hurts my poor head.


Posted: July 4, 2011 at 6:05 pm

sooooo…the nice summer weather is finally here and this means that while the rest of the world is happy…we at SAINTS are now on STRICT water restrictions.
the folks at Allied Water are GREAT…they just filled up all of our tanks in anticipation of no water REALLY soon…and they donated the first fill up…5000 gallons…$386 for the very first week when the well runs dry and we have no water here anymore.

almost $400 a week for water from now until october is pretty much going to kill us so everyone has to be on exactly the same page…every single drop is important…every single drop costs money so be careful in all that we do.

…..NO BIG LINENS or rugs or quilts or thick things are to be used….every single peice of linen adds up to many mountains of laundry to put thru. if the linens can be shaken out, refolded and used again, then we need to re-use them. if you see someone putting out inappropriate linens or tossing stuff in the laundry that might be ok for another day..please remind them that we are on STRICT WATER RESTRICTIONS and have to use extra care.

…..NEVER abandon a bucket or bowl that is being filled by a hose or in a sink..stand there and watch it fill…wasting water down the drain from unwatched buckets and bowls overflowing is now CRIMINAL ACTIVITY.,,,and if you come across an unattended bucket or bowl being filled in the sink or by a hose…stand there and watch it and turn it off the second that it is full…and remind the criminal water waster that all flowing water MUST be watched.

rotate and recycle water….take all of the partially filled buckets and bowls and pour them into one bucket to be used for the day…rotate which bucket has the recycled water so each animal area takes turns getting fresh water each day…this is especially true at the barns…use czars bucket for recylced water one day…switch over to ziggy the next, move over to dixie and then gideon, and then the sheep or use it to refill the outside water troughs…don’t be a water wasting glutton and just toss it all out. when water is too messed up to be used again…use it to water the pasture grass or the flowers..the gravel will survive with no water at all.

and finally..if able to collect up water at home and bring it here in milk jugs..or if able slip up here during the week and take a couple of loads of laundry home…THAT IS A HUGE HELP.


running out of water here totally…TOTALLY….SUCKS….SUCKS….SUCKS!
we ALL need to be complete water freaks…if i am having to put up with god damn 2 inch baths for the next 12-16 weeks…we can all pull together and uses the absolute minimal amount of water here to keep our costs down as much as we can.

ok pre-out-of-water freakout is now mostly done….for now.

i can't imagine euthanizing an animal here for want of a dental…even tho the cost of dentals now a days is higher than ever before.

Posted: June 30, 2011 at 7:41 pm

i had lunch with mo today. we talked about a few things. i told her i had done my part of the interview with shelley (she is doing our promo video for the gala this year) so mo and laura are up next. shelley asks tough questions..some i am still thinking about today.

there is so much about saints that i can’t articulate. i can’t find the right words to put to the feelings, the beliefs that are inside of me. there are just some things that i know in my core have to be.

one of the questions was…how can we justify a couple of thousand dollars spent in vet care on a little old wrecked dog like daisy, who may never find a home? and let’s be honest,..who may not even be alive in a year or two..old dogs only live so long. that same amount of money could help 10 younger and healthier dogs who will eventually find good long life homes.

i can’t justify it and i can’t say that daisy is more (or less) deserving then they. i can’t weigh one against the other and pick who gets to live to see a new and hopefully better day.

all i know is..when we committed to daisy and said we would help her, there were no strings attached. it didn’t come with conditions that she had to be good, she had to be well, that she couldn’t cost too much money or cause too many problems or be easy to find a new home.

it has taken me six years to realize, financially, physically..we just can’t help as many as we want to try. but that doesn’t mean we have put limits or caps on the ones that we do help…i can’t even imagine having $200 or $500 limit on someone elses life.

and don’t get me wrong here..i make treatment option choices every day. i am not putting a 14 year old dog thru chemotherapy or a 15 yr old thru major back or knee surgery. it has nothing to do with the money, it has to do with the consequences of these kind of treatments and therapies…pain, the recovery, the quality of life effect near the end of their lives. there are non surgical interventions to maintain comfort for a 16 yr old with a torn cruciate, there are analgesics available to keep comfortable a terminal cancer victim, for a while.

but for daisy, the multiple surgeries done all at one time..the mammary tumor and bladder stone removals, the spay and the dental extractions….2 weeks and 2 thousand dollars later, she will be well again, those problems are gone.
so ok, she is still a bit crippled, she still has the spinal cord compression that occasionally screws up her ability to walk. but that doesn’t hurt her, and it doesn’t seem to bug or worry her so at this time for her, it is not too great of a problem.

i don’t think i could live with myself if daisy’s welfare and wellbeing and happiness came down to dollars and cents. my only concern was what was best for her and i comfortable in making decisions this way.

i understand why other shelters make their decisions in different ways. they cannot ride the roller coaster speeding towards possible de-railment..they are smarter and more focused on the long term than i. saints may very well die when i do..or maybe it will go on. if it does go on, it probably will be far different then it is while i am running the show.

but this is personal for me…this is about what i believe to be right. i can’t live with myself if i think i am doing wrong things…i have to do what i believe to be right.

i can implement my big Plan…which i actually have done. i called all the vets today and set the new Plan up. and i am ok with this will mean that we can’t help as many, it will mean that far more will probably die, but it will also provide security that we can afford to care for the ones we are able to help…like daisy, with no strings attached to hang either her or myself.

i believe saints is committed by obligation to providing the care that each animal needs once they come into our care. i don’t think we have the right to change our minds or add exclusions or exceptions to our contract to them depending on what needs they present.
for every animal here, past present or future..they have to be able to count on one promise from us…every decision we make on their behalfs will be because we truly feel that for each unique individual, it is the right one for them.

and i can live with that….i am actually ok at the end of the day with spending a couple of grand and still having an old and somewhat still wrecked (but not quite as wrecked) little, bitchy, but happy dog who may or may not ever find a new home…i am ok with with it, because daisy is ok with it, for her and all of the others here, we promise to simply do our best and for me…that feels right.

bladder cats

Posted: June 12, 2011 at 6:30 am

it is freaking cold this morning! brrrhh. cocoa….

cocoa is a 4 year old incontinent cat…it is not behavorial….his incontince is mechanical, meaning parts of his urinary tract system are broken.
from what i can gather from his history…cocoa has for quite a long time suffered from chronic cystitis and urinary tract crystals. he did get good medical care, including appropriate medical diets and a couple of surgeries. the last surgery damaged something permanently..probably the nerves around the urethra and now he leaks urine constantly.

anyway..i wanted to just give folks who don’t know… a bladder cat basic treatment plan for chronic bladder infections, chronic cystitis (inflamation of the bladder wall) and chronic crystal formation cats…so a good portion may actually be able to avoid these kind of risky surgeries..(not all..some even with this treatment plan may end up on the operating cocoa…but many of them can avoid it too.)

anyway…there are 5 critical components to long term management of chronic bladder cats…

1. water….these cats need to drink A LOT. get it into them anyway you can..mix extra water into their canned food, given them the packing water out of tuna fish cans and water it down even further and keep their water bowls sparkling fresh and clean and add cool fresh water to them thru out the day.

2. diet…a strict medically appropriate diet is critical to keep the urine’s Ph at the proper level. don’t cheat, don’t get lazy when you run out and substitute. also try to get them to eat greater amounts of the canned moist food vs. dry kibble.

3. frequent urine specimens with antibiotic follow ups for when there is infection…and give every single dose of antibiotics..don’t stop them early cuz he seems better or you forgot. when the full course of each set of antibiotics is complete..a post antibiotic urine specimen is critical. make sure the infection is completely gone cuz if it isn’t he needs to stay on antibiotic therapy longer. and just a note here which your vet might not agree with..if this is a second or more infection within the same year..that cat needs a minimum of three weeks of antibiotics plus a C&S culture to make sure the right antibiotics are being used.

4. reduce their stress levels…bladder cats in the middle of acute bladder episodes…feel like crap. if they start peeing all over the house..instead of getting mad or frustrated…be sympathetic to their pain and distress and work with them patiently to help them feel safe and well again.

5. cartrophen injections are critical to chronic infection/chronic cystitis, and/or crystal producing cats. the cartrophen does 2 basic things…it reduces inflamation (which includes both swelling and pain) and it coats the mucosal lining of the bladder and urethra with a thick mucous layer thus preventing further trauma, inflamation and scarring. the injections are given once a week for 4 weeks, then every 4 weeks for a while..eventually they go down to a maintenece dose of once every three months and that must continue for the rest of their lives.

i want to stress the following..these cats need strict management and dedicated time sensitive care. you can’t let the days and the weeks slip away on you and start pushing the cartrophen off a week or two, or a month or three, or 6 or 7 months down the road either cuz the cat is fine right now or you are busy and will eventually get around to it.

the pain they suffer from chronically inflamed bladders from infection or crystals or cystitis is akin to their whole bladders and urethra’s feeling like they are constantly on hurts like scares them and it mentally and emotionally traumatizes them cuz they feel like they are constantly under a painful attack from which they cannot escape. it is a terrible place to be for a cat.

ok, i have done my teaching duty..that is the basic lesson on managing bladder cats.

there are dogs living here that sometimes…

Posted: May 29, 2011 at 8:16 am

i hate.

these are the ones that are mostly fine but occasionally are total hags.

phoebe, bambi2, noelle, jelly…even al the other night…..the ones who think they are queen or king shit and every once in a while, will go after the weak for no real reason except at that particular moment, they think they have the right.

they seem to forget, there is only one queen shit around here..and every single cat and dog…every single rabbit and pig…every single chicken and sheep…100% belong to me and they better not harm a single one…cuz then they will be dealing with me.

95% of the time we all get along really well. all of us have to be patient and tolerant here…this would be our necessary collective and cooperative pack and herd mentality. this many various species of animals living communally…and in these numbers and in this space and with my unbreakable rules of constant peaceful not natural and it is not always easy….BUT survival has never been easy for anyone…by it’s very nature survival is usually difficult.

there is no doubt that part of the reason we can co-exist together day in and day out without grievous injury to someone is because i can and will be without question…the biggest hag of them all….and all of them know it.

but those troublesome four or five..sometimes forget…strong as they are….they are not the real royal shit around here…that dirty crown belongs solely to me.

for those who want to do rescue and dream of a place like saints with halo’s for humans and white shiny wings……the dream better include accepting the hag of all time role occasionally too cuz there is no other way to keep the mini-wanna-be hags from taking over the show

these animals are not stupid…while they like and want the kind softness of us… is the sometimes unbending steel and the strength that keeps them safe.

that is the hardest part of being here….the constant watching of each and every one…the inclination and the desire to be a benevolent leader but still accepting the responsibilty to step up and take them down a notch when they need to knock it off NOW.

sigh…the other night it was al who found himself in great trouble with me…he made the real mistake of getting annoyed and going after fergie who was just playing with his ball innocently. this morning it was bambi2 who got nailed to the floor…she dared to try to take violent offence with mandy who was just walking too close to her couch.

i hate them when they make me step up and put the fear of god into them…but tyra taught me well so many years ago….do not ever, whether she could see you or not… touch her soccor ball…it was and always will be completely off-limits…and no one ever touched it..they knew it was hers….her communication was crystal clear.

they can eat my walls, they can chew on my shoes, they can pee on my bed (but i would prefer that they don’t)..they can do whatever they want to do….but do not ever touch one of the other animals, ESPECIALLY the weak and frail…they are MY soccor balls and i will freaking make you regret that you forgot that one never to be forgotten rule today as i nail you to the floor.

i hate them when they awaken the sleeping hag in me.
it is a good thing i forgive and forget fairly easily….but right now bambi2 is being very quiet and uneasily watching me cuz she knows the real queen hag is fully awake and on guard….and watching her every bitchy thought.