a brutal week, and not over yet.

Posted: October 9, 2008 at 6:49 pm

i met my daughter’s at the clinic and we surrounded penny, our long time friend as she passed away. my tears as she died were not for her….she had a good life with my family. my tears were to see the tears of my daughters…god this life just freaking sucks.

ty…aka tyler…who yesterday was salvadore, started to multiple seizure today. the staff all took turns sitting with him. i came home and started him on a low dose of phenobarb at noon, he has a vet appointment on saturday.

tunie is not well, the vets came today. they want to draw blood and do a belly tap because of the real possibility of a reproductive cancer but are afraid to sedate her right now. lisa took a stool spec. and i am to get a urine specimen and drop it off to the clinic tomorrow.

simon died at 4:15 as a result of his surgery. run free again simon and i am so very sorry.

there was a note from carrie when i got home that maybe it is time for sunrise to pass as he looks really unwell today. on my way over to check on him, i am thinking, he is not ready yet but when i got there i saw that he is. i will phone the clinic tomorrow and see if we can get a home euth.

17 losses since the end of august and another couple of losses are on their way.

and tonight i sit here as i write this post, i know a couple of things besides that i am tired of feeling so sad.

there are those who “get” this and there are a few reading this that “don’t” but think they do and i can hear the things that the “don’t’s” have to say. i can’t do a damn thing about it. this too hugely sucks but why am i supposed to care?

the only good news i have to report is cuddles apparently has a soft tissue injury, not cancer and the empty water tanks just finished getting filled up again.

i am going to run a very hot bath and hopefully i won’t let the tears flow too.

5 Comments on "a brutal week, and not over yet."

  • Charlotte says

    Carol, I absolutely ‘get’ why you do what you do – only thing I don’t ‘get’ is how you’re able to Handle It. Having only discovered you after following the Pahrump horror, I feel a special attachment to the Americats, knowing the hell they came through … and cursing, daily, the subhumans responsible for their suffering. And yet, I know that the majority of animals you have there have either escaped from something awful, or were discarded when they weren’t Convenient anymore. Equally heartbreaking about all, wishing they could’ve had more time in Sanctuary at Saints.

    I have an aging population here at home, and so have had a couple of deaths come within a month of each other in the past. It looks like I’ll be suffering another pair soon as well, and it’s destroying me. I just cannot imagine how it must be for you all there, to lose so many in such a short time on such a regular basis. I know it’s to be expected, given the circumstances, but Good Lord. It really takes special people to be able to do it, get through it, and take on more, knowing that you’ll be going through it again.

    Condolences to all of you, and thank you for what you do for those lovely souls.

  • Rae says

    Aw Carol I’m so sorry for the loss of your friend Penny and Simon. Rest in peace little ones.
    Please give Tyler/Salvador a love for me. If this had to happen I am so glad he was at Saints rather than all by himself in the Shelter. He is a nice dog when he isn’t scared. We shared a bagel and some crackers on the way to Saints and he was quite delightful. I’m hoping this is a minor set back and he can stay with you for a long time.

  • Erika says

    Awww – you have your own Tyler too now!
    I am sorry for all of the sadness you have had to experience since August, I also get what you do.
    Erika

  • Angelina says

    I am so sorry for all your losses Carol.

    You shouldn’t have to care about what the people who don’t get what you do think or say. Not many people can do what you do Carol. Not many people are willing to give up any sort of “normal” life to be surrounded by ancient, wrecked, sick, and pain in the ass animals. Those of us who truly get what you do and stand behind you know that you make choices for the animals that are the best for them at that moment. We know that you are doing something wonderful for each and every animal that comes to SAINTS. We know that you do the best you can. We know that everyone makes mistakes and we know that you do not make the same mistake twice because you are strong enough to admit your mistakes and learn from them.

    Please take care of yourself.

    Angelina

  • Audrey says

    Carol, I am so sorry about Penny & Simon. Rest in peace, little furbabies. You sure have suffered through many losses this past couple of months. I get why you do what you do. It sure isn’t easy and it sure isn’t easy to be judged by others. There is something to that saying by Ghandhi that say “A society can be measured by the way it treats its animals”. How true is that and what does that tell us about our society today? You are one of the ones who helps to pick up the pieces – bless your heart! There are many of us who DO get what you do and we will stand with you. The ones who DON’T get it – well, they’re missing a lot.

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